A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel the pressure to look good because my boyfriend has wandering eyes and constantly look at pretty girls. How do I assure myself that one day when my youth is gone and he'd find someone else??? Is this normal? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 February 2012):
 Define look…. My bf would look at you if you were his type and dressed the way he likes and he would be pleased but in the long run honey he’s bringing himself home to my 52 year old sagging butt… People look… if it’s a glancing look even with a “ummmmmm NICE” I don’t mind,. But don’t go on and on and on about her…
In our house we say “I don’t care where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home”
You assure yourself that he comes home to you by trusting him and his commitment to you and knowing that we do not exist in a vacuum… I mean don’t you see a handsome man and notice him?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): If he is just casting an appreciative glance then it is harmless and normal. If he is standing, ogling them for ages, then he has a problem.
But dont worry because Alpha males dont stare. So if girls catch him ogling, they wont find him attractive. They usually call that type, losers. And if he is one of those, then there is little chance he will be taken from you. There is more chance of you leaving him!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 February 2012):
 I'm sorry to tell you but people look. Women look at other women and men and guys do the same.
The looking is not always to compare or for sexual interest, it might be the woman is wearing fantastic shoes or gaudy make up. But all in all EVERYONE looks. It might be a guy is wearing a nice shirt or nice smile. Doesn't mean that whomever is looking want to replace who they are with for whomever they are looking at. I sincerely think you are over analyzing his behavior.
Now if your BF ogles women, you ought to tell him, because that is a little creepy and disrespectful.
And honey, it will be decades before your "youth" is gone. Who knows your BF might have lost all his hair by then and you will at the age of 60 still be a hot mama! Why worry about things so far ahead that may or may not come to pass?
Enjoy life and if he is rude about the way he looks at women, TALK to him.
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A
female
reader, Paul_2012  +, writes (28 February 2012):
 can i be honest, do you really know he is checking them out etc?
I dont know if i speak for all guys here but i DONT check other girls out.
but, if a girl is wearing a bright scarf my eye is drawn to it.. if she has a rather big ass yes my eyes are drawn again.
the human eye looks at things that stand out..
so i dont know if he is maybe doing that..
Paul
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (28 February 2012):
 HI
I think we can all have a wondering eye, I mean I cant walk down the street with horse blinkers on, If I see an attractive guy, im human, of course im going to look. Why not look at beauty? after all its only looking. Unless his taking it to the extreme i.e winking at them, over smiling, or even saying whoo hoo sexy, I wouldn't let it bother you. After all it's you his with, and YOU his going home with :) chillax ... its normal and healthy.
Mandy xx
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 February 2012):
 What do you mean he looks at other pretty girls? Doesn't he also look at people he passes by, or does he deliberately close his eyes so he can't see anything but pretty girls?
I think in most of these cases the girlfriend is just being insecure and the man is just looking at people like every normal human will. We have eyes. We don't go blind just because we are in relationships. Unless he stares at other women and their breasts while talking to you, to the extent that he never looks into your eyes when talking to you, then I don't see the problem.
Besides, you and him most likely do NOT have the same standards for what is "pretty" and what isn't. Maybe you think he is looking at pretty girls, but in his mind he might just be looking because they are random people walking by. Perhaps he looks at the less pretty as well, but because of your insecurities you don't notice that as much. He probably looks at guys too, but again because if insecurity you don't see it.
One day when your youth is gone his youth will be gone as well, and by then hopefully your relationship will be based on something deeper than superficial "prettiness".
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (28 February 2012):
 If you ask me, you're feeling a lot of pressure because you're thinking WAY too far ahead. You're what? 18-21? Yes, yes, it could last, but you can't tackle a problem that is years away and may never eventuate anyways. Worry about the problems you're facing in the here and now.
I'm not going to go into depth about "wandering eyes" any more than to say that its pretty freakin' normal and isn't always as sinister as you might think it is. Others will disagree of course.
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