A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why does my ex still deny his abuse towards me? My.ex and I have been split up for 5 months we had been together 8 yrs but to me was a bad relationship, he hadn't know really what he wanted, although 43, he never made a commitment to me or our kids, still lived on/off with his mum, binge drank, took drugs, Hung around behind my.back with other ex girlfriends etc. He was also physically abuse to me ie he had once hit me . I could take.no more and ended it. We don't have much contact he still plays stupid.games trys to get in my bed, he has said.sorry for hurting me but refuses to accept he is abusive. To the outsider he looks a normal well presented man, has a job, nice car, home not what you'd expect from someone who behaves that way, although he only has those things cuz mummy left everything to him and sister hardly anything. How can you even try to get along with someone who does not live in reality. If.feel like moving away but would miss my family
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 you don't get along with him you ignore him. have no contact with him. IF he sees the children have it set up so that someone else drops them off and picks them up. Have the CS done through a lawyer...
you don't need him to accept his bad behavior...you accept it. you left him and moved on... well done.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2012): you did the right thing of leaving him. now you just need to emotionally move on. and that means no longer caring what he's thinking and whether or not he's sorry for what he did. Moving on means you just don't care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2012): If you 'don't have much contact' and 'been split up for 5 months' then why does him admitting he was abusive a long time ago matter?
Why do you even want to try to 'get along' with him when he 'still trys to get in my bed' he is messing with you because he knows what buttons to press and in his little mind he thinks its amusing.
He apologised for hurting you and he has gone, it did not work out and never will as he was never committed to you even when you had his kids
I genuinely feel you need some counselling to help you accept it is over to make it possible for you to forget and let this relationship go for your sake and your childrens.
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A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 It is very unfortunate that you still have to have any contact at all with this degrading creep. You should be indifferent to whatever he thinks, though, I get the feeling that he has a limited capacity for any kind of formal thought to begin with.
It would be to your advantage to get far away from him. Yes, you will miss your family, but you don't need the creep's game playing messing with your head which will do terrible harm to you in the long run.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 You don't need him to accept that he is abusive if you know he is. Him accepting it wont change the matters one bit. You are the one who chooses to stay in this situation, and when you know how he is you can not continue to blame him.
Have courage and leave this situation.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (11 April 2012):
 Hi
why do you want to move away , you are split up now and the only contact you should have with him is re the kids. if he is harrassing you then get an injunction put in place to keep him away from you
you definately did right to end it with him but he wont own up to being abusive as he won't be able to see he was or still is .Its history now, the relationship, so you need to be firm to get him out of your life or you will never get over the hurt and move on xx
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