A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with Daryl for 2 years now. He has a child with another woman and we have definely had our ups and downs. I do not get along with his family at all. But I'm pregnant. I love daryl he's a good guy and he's been talking marriage lately. The kicker is I'm also in love with Kyle. He's my brothers best friend and about 4 years ago he told me how he felt and we were going to try to make it work. He was going to leave his fiancé for me but my brother got very mad and Kyle respected my brother too much to go against him. Recently Kyle and I ran into each other and sparks were flying. We ended up hanging out all night and talked until 8 am, nothing more well cause duh Im preggo and with Daryl. Kyle told me that he was still I love with me and didn't care that I was pregnant. Daryl and I have been having some issues lately and even though I care about him it feels like Kyle and I have " the notebook love" . Do I follow my heart and give Kyle and I a chance or do I stay with Daryl and always wonder " what if" . I want to bea family with Daryl but if I have to force it does that make it any better? I know if there wasn't a baby I wouldnt even think twice I would be with Kyle. But there is a child and I can't just think for myself anymore I have to do what's best for him or her as well. Please help!!!
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (3 April 2012):
 Hold on -- before I get all romantic with the whole "Notebook love" vibe, you mentioned that 4 years ago, he wanted to leave his fiance for you, but your brother took issue with it?
4 years later, is that fiance now his wife? Is Kyle now a married man? That makes a difference in my advice to you.
If Kyle is now single, then go with him. Sounds like Daryl isn't the one for you. He can be a father without being a boyfriend/husband.
However, if Kyle is now married, that's a completely different issue. If that's the case, then don't bust up the marriage. Better to live single and look for love than to help him cheat on his wife.
You shouldn't settle if you don't love Daryl. That's the one sure part about this. You're pregnant, so soon, that child will be the most important person in your life.
I'm interested in why your brother had a fit over Kyle wanting to be with you. Guys who are best friends tend to know the habits and..uhh...faithfulness of their friends. If he was warning Kyle off of you because he was protective of you, that's not something to be ignored.
If my brother had a friend who was a cheater or player, he would have threatened his life if his friend had tried to get with me. Brothers are usually fanatically protective of their sisters.
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (3 April 2012):
 like you say a baby is in the equation you have to consider. between the two you need to make sure it is love. a love that will be their when times are good, and when times are bad. like i always say (marry the one you cant live without, not the one you can live with.) what i am saying love is giving 100% to each other, it is not selfish. the "what ifs " will bug you about both of them. you need to look at everything involved , which one will you not want to be without in the future might be a good starting place. which one can you see your self with 10, 20 , 30 years down the road, and the same with him.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 April 2012):
 You child isn't even born. It wont know the difference between living with a biological father and living with a step-father. Really. It wont know the difference, and will have every opportunity to be happy as if you and the real father were still a couple. The child has a better chance of happiness and a good childhood if both parents are happy and mature and are good parents, despite not living together, than it does if both parents are forcing themselves to stay together only to be miserable themselves.
I mean you are setting an example for your child, and which example will that be? Settling, or following your heart?
Go for Kyle. You'll regret it otherwise. It is a bold move, take it slow, and don't press for too much from Kyle at once. Things wont be easy in the beginning, especially as you and Kyle can't begin to think of having a normal "honeymoon" phase, since you will soon have a child on your hands.
But, it's love. And you will go the rest of your life wondering "what if". Don't miss out. I say go with your heart. It is YOUR life after all, and there is no reason for why you can't make your child happy even if you are a single mom or with someone else than the baby's daddy. Kyle it is. He loves you. And you love him.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (3 April 2012):
 One... your brother is an idiot
Two... Which do you feel is better for you?
If you are going to wonder "what if" then you are not really that in love with Daryll.
I would say find out about that what if, if the chemistry you have with Kyle was never there with Daryll.
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A
female
reader, Sinful_thinker89 +, writes (3 April 2012):
 I think its better to be in a happy either single or a guy which actually makes you happy opposed to stay in a relationship where your not happy, because your child will grow up in that environment. But before you go and make a huge decision get on your feet first, get yourself situated
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