A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a girl for three months. A month and a half she said she wanted to be my girlfriend. She said she's never been more comfortable, its the best sex she's ever had, we both want the same things. About a week ago she said I love you to me. A week after she said I love you she told me she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend who us with another woman. She said she saw herself marrying me, moving in together, having kids. She met my family at a wedding and said she felt more comfortable with them then she did with her exs family for six years. This past week she told me she's a mess and needs to be alone. Can someone help me figure this out?
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 How long has it been since she broke up with her ex? It sounds like she rushed into her relationship with you too soon and she's experiencing emotional back lash. Back off on all the wedding talk and just take it slow. Tell her there's no rush. But you might want to find out if the ex is still showing interest in her as well. There could be more brewing beneath the surface than you realize.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 How long was she single before you became a couple? It sounds as if she hadn't been single long enough. Feelings don't die just like that when you break up. They linger, and can take years to be completely gone. Even if she doesn't love him romantically any longer there are still feelings left.
This means that she needs time to be alone. She thought she was over him, and she IS having a better time with you. But it happened too soon, and her feelings are currently a mess. Because it is difficult to let someone else into your heart when the old love isn't completely out yet. It takes time. And she probably didn't realize she still needed time when she got with you. After all, it was just 3 months ago. She's not going to be at a much more different place emotionally now, than she was 3 months ago.
She fell for you too fast, as it took longer than 3 months to get rid of the old feelings. So she needs space to create room in her heart for you. Give her time. She'll come around and be in your arms again soon.
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