A
female
age
26-29,
*arolines9711
writes:I'm 15 and I feel like I want to have a baby even though I know I'm not ready financially. Why do I feel like this? How can I push the thought away? I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and we have talked about having kids but not until we have a house, and are married, and have steady jobs, and are ready in every way. I just want to know why do I feel this way? Why now? Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (1 June 2012):
Let me help push the thought away -
The cost for raising a child from 0-18 in the US is around $240,000 BEFORE college.
If you have that kind of money sitting around, Id say go for it......
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): You're a female its natural to have fantasies and even make plans (eventually) to have a baby with your boyfriend. BUT, I think you've pretty much answered your own question as to whether or not you should right now. You're obviously a wise person to have identified you're not ready and I think everyone here would agree to that you are not ready just yet, so stick to plan A which is wait until you are ready in every way to start a family because a baby is a big and hard commitment and responsibility and you are only still a teenager yourself. Hope you do the sensible thing :)
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female
reader, carolines9711 +, writes (31 May 2012):
carolines9711 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the anonymous male reader, I am actually adopted and my parents divorced a couple of years ago so you have a good point. Thanks for the advice everyone.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Yes, this is purely hormones speaking. For the very same reason almost all teenage boys think about sex every 6th second. It's hormones. Girls are getting ideas about babies, because their bodies are telling them to have one. It's the instinct inside us that is telling us it is time. But... yeah, that alone is not at all a sign that you ARE ready. It's more like the kick-off sign that your body is now changing, and maturing to be ready to breed.
I don't know any teenage girls who haven't felt this sudden urge to have babies. I experienced it when I was 14 too, I had this intense urge to have a baby, lol. So, don't worry, it happens to everyone.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Hormones.
Economical and cultural evolution in modern society has neatly differentiated and separated the moment of sexual maturation and the moment of conceiving. It did not use to be like that until surprisingly recent times even in Western societies, and it still it's not like that in several Third World countries, as well as in very rural or urban underpriviliged areas in western societies.
You reach full sexual development, you reproduce yourself, simple as that.
Luckily ( at least, from my point of view it's a very lucky thing ) society has developed more complex , less instinctual structures that have made indesirable and unattainable for most kids your age following this " biological imperative ". You may be more natural, more instinctual than many of your peers ( I don't know ONE 15 y.o. that wants to bother with babies ! ) but thanks God you have enough brain to understand that some times culture MUST win over nature.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): "I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and we have talked about having kids but not until we have a house, and are married, and have steady jobs, and are ready in every way. I just want to know why do I feel this way? Why now?"I suspect you're growing up in an unstable, unsettled home situation without proper adult role models. What you are dreaming of is the type home life every child deserves and which my parents provided for my siblings and me, but unfortunately and sadly you were apparently denied by being born to too young and/or too irresponsible bio-parents.Don't repeat your bio-parents mistakes and doom your children to a childhood they'll be seeking to escape like you are now.I commend your intelligence and insight in understanding your strong desire to have a baby isn't appropriate or healthy for a girl your age. I suspect you are seeking the stability of a family of your own to compensate for your bio-parents' failure to provide one for you. As previously said, DON'T repeat their mistake.
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female
reader, carolines9711 +, writes (31 May 2012):
carolines9711 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know that I'm too young and I'm not planning on having kids anytime soon. I just want to know why I feel like this even though it is completely irrational. Thank you for some of these answers that have helped.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): It's a normal feeling. Wanting a baby or wanting sex. It's all apart of being a teenager and it may or may not change through time. Just know that you should wait until you're financially stable to have a child. Minimum 18 years old but ideally after you've graduated college and are married. Having a baby is excruciatingly painful and may take over 24 hours! Also raising a baby is extremely extremely expensive. Not to mention you won't get any sleep. You'll also have a permanently expanded tummy and stretch marks. If you have one now you'll miss out on all the fun high school things like prom, driving, going out with friends, sweet 16, etc because you'll have to take care of your baby.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): It's human nature, especially when you are in a loving relationship. However, you will surely regret this down the road...you have so much more to do with your teen years before you become an adult with adult responsibilities.There is a saying going around on Facebook...Don't grow up, it's a trap! LOL But you know what? It may be funny, but boy oh boy is there some truth to that...we all want to grow up and be adults so soon, and then that time comes and it can be overwhelming, but you just can't see it until you are older.I like the suggestion of babysitting from one of the posters! You can not only learn to have that experience of caring for children of various ages, but you also have a great opportunity to earn some money (and great money if you are good, trusting and reliable at it and word gets around, everyone will want you!) that you can save, finish your education so you can both do something you are passionate about in your life, eventually get married, buy that house and when you are all settled, THEN have the children you both want to have.For now, have some fun and enjoy your teen years with your friends and your boyfriend, work hard and graduate from high school and hopefully head off to college :-)
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (31 May 2012):
more than answer your question about why you feel this way, I think it would be helpful to suggest a way of stopping the feeling. you could find people who need a babysitter, that way you get experience with kids, earn money & also see every aspect to taking responsibility for young kids. I dont think you are any way abnormal by the way, just make sure you dont get pregnant as you wont be able to enjoy your life the same way. good luck! x
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 I would say a mix of hormones and wanting to grow up to fast.
You need to focus on the things that you enjoy about being 15 and free and all the things you would lose and miss if you had a baby, as well as how expensive it is, if you do this it will likely pass.
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Has someone around you just had a baby or has got pregnant? If so this could maybe trigger your desires for having one now. I kinda get where you're coming from as until i met my current boyfriend (who i believe is the one) i hated the idea of having children at all. I never wanted them. But recently I've met some of my boyfriends' friends who have children and it's kinda made me want them in the future, when i'm married, have a good career and house.
I'm sure the thoughts will pass within time, or at least fade :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): It's your hormones. At your age it's very common to want to marry your first love, move in together, and have kids. Like a normal relationship, only...much faster. You know having a baby at your age would only cause stress and potentially ruin your life. Know that these things will happen naturally at a later point in life when you actually have a career, marriage, etc. There are so many other things in life you have yet to accomplish, try finishing those first, you have your entire life ahead of you to have kids.
Best of luck!~
Always use protection!
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