A
female
age
36-40,
*ruthplease
writes:I met a guy online a month ago and we went out on a first date and had an amazing time. Since then he had been texting me and sending pictures and flirting, then he asked to set up a second date. I agreed and we set it up, 3 hours before the date he sent me a text saying: "I think it is better that we cancel tonight. I met someone recently and it would not be fair to lead you on or lie to her. Hope you understand." I was shocked because he was the one who had asked me out just two days before and confirmed plans the night before the date! Why would you ask me out if you had met someone else? He had never mentioned anyone else in the month that we had been talking to each other. I just want to know what I should have responded to him? What I did respond was "Ok, thank you for being honest :)" This has never happened to me before for a guy to cancel 3 hours before a date because he met someone else when he had been the one to suggest the date! The weird part is up until this point he had been so great and such a gentleman and I was really excited about the date, this all came out of left field. Usually you cancel a day in advance at least if that is the excuse you are going to use, you don't confirm plans the night before then cancel 3 hours before you are suppose to meet the person!! If he was not that into me then why did he set up the date? Why not cancel the night before and wait until a few hours before meeting me?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 April 2014):
 OP you have a good attitude about this and that will help you on down the line.
Just keep on going. If the dude WAS A flake then be glad you didn't waste more time on him.
Better luck next time!
A
female
reader, Truthplease +, writes (30 April 2014):
Truthplease is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your answers, all of you really helped me put things in perspective, I deleted his number from my phone and erased everything about/from him. Moving on fast and yes definitely going to tell him no if he ever contacts me again. Like they say "Don't give someone a second chance when someone else is waiting for their first".Oh and to answer someone's question no we were not sending naughty pictures to each other or having any sexual talk, it was just every day pictures or pictures of us at events, like I said everything was going great until 3 hours before the 2nd date haha.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2014): Exactly the same thing happened to me! A guy I met in a club, had a great first date and 3 hrs before our second, cancelled saying he had met someone else. I was utterly humiliated and phoned 4 friends in an hour trying to figure out his behaviour. Reality was the guy was a jerk, arranging a second date but then cancelling in such a cowardly fashion.Be grateful, this idiot is out if your life because who wants to be anyone's "reserve". Go out line up some other gorgeous men to date who will value you.Oh and four years later that guy is still single......
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A
male
reader, justaguy71  +, writes (28 April 2014):
Guys are not ALWAYS like this, talk about a generalisation.(from the other poster)
This one is a douche however though and you should have been a little ruder or more abrupt with him, its pretty rude. I wouldn't do what he did, there are nice guys around, the girls never notice them though.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 April 2014):
 Let's go over this again......
Guys ALWAYS check out the lawns in their neighborhoods to see if anyone else's is greener. Sometimes, we say to someone (this guy said it to you: "I like the greenness of YOUR lawn.... so want to play croquet on your lawn with you." (the date)).
HOWEVER, shortly before you and he were to have your date, HE found that ANOTHER lady had NOT ONLY a lush green lawn... BUT ALSO, she gave him reason to believe that - besides the green lawn - she would let him play in her "personal playground" (she would put out)!!!
Can you not understand the dilemma that this posed for your young man-friend???? AND, what red-blooded American young man would NOT opt for an almost-certain chance to bed a red-blooded American woman, if he got a chance????
That is my "take" on the matter. That said.... you are well rid of this man-whore who had little chance of being true to you....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2014): It's how it works these days, OP. But then again it could have been an excuse.
Either way don't take it personally, at least he didn't waste your time or go ahead with the sole intention of just trying to bed you before letting you go.
OP there is honestly no way of knowing why he left it so let. maybe he really wasn't in it all along and only decided it wouldn't be fair as the time got closer, maybe a friend talked him out of it, maybe his other option was his preferred from the start and he was just hedging his bets.
It's annoying but it's the end of it.
I've had women just not show up, and never answer any of my calls again.
I can't even count the number of times I've gotten numbers and they were either fake or the woman just ignored me.
people are inconsiderate and selfish, OP, the way I see it I can either be disappointed and angry at them, or I can be glad they didn't decide to put in more of an effort because they're obviously not worth dating.
That's literally the worst. I've had it that they weren't interested just bored and toying with me was "just something to do".
Never take anything in dating personally, never be upset by it because people are people and there's a lot of idiots around.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 April 2014):
 Look, I know you think its humiliating, but on the bright side at least he didn't lead you on. He was testing waters with both of you and he wasn't very sure about either of you but when the time came for the date with you, he realized that he couldn't do it, because he was more into the other girl and didn't want to "cheat" on her.
Yes he should have done all this much before, maybe he didn't know how to, maybe he wasn't sure of what he wanted till the last moment. You know what they say, "Flip a coin. When it's in the air, you'll know what side you're hoping for." Maybe for him the final moments before the date was that moment when he realized what he wanted, or didn't, for that matter.
Don't take it personally OP, it has nothing to do with you. Just chalk it up as an experience you would rather forget and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 April 2014):
Some people date multiple people in hopes that there is a greater chance to meet someone special. My guess is he WAS seeing her, you (and maybe more girls) at the same time.
I can understand that it's a kick in the pants to have a guy do this, but he is also right, there is no point in going out on a date if he has discovered he is interested in another girl.
Just block and delete this fellow and move on.
AND remember this isn't about YOU not being good enough to date.
When you say sent pictures - were they "naughty" in nature? If so... I suggest you save that for a guy you are IN a relationship with not a guy you barely know. (NOT that it has anything to do with his actions, just a little.. FYI).
You ask why he didn't cancel sooner? Well maybe the girl he really wanted to date didn't say yes til 3 1/2 hours before your date. OR maybe the guy is just some kind of flake.
Either way, time to let that one back in the pond.
If he ever contacts you again, tell him you moved on.
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