A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question about how a boy friend normally wakes a girl up in the morning. This guy I have been seeing for several months now always wakes me up with the words 'I gotta to kick you out. It's not very romantic and an awful way to have to be woken up. I have told him it bothers me, but he does not understand and makes me feel stupid for even bringing it up. He says he has to go to work and that it does not mean that he is not into me. He does not kiss me, hug or anything in the morning, that is not until I am about to leave his room. Forget him walking me to the door, that would never happens. I don't stay over there that often. We see each other like once a week. Am I being too needy, expecting too much, being a bit irrational or overthinking this? I'm an affectionate person, and it makes me feel trashy when he does this. I wish he was the way he is the night before. He's seems like a totally different person in the morning - cold towards me, distant. He keeps reassuring me that he has feeling for me. Thoughts? Thanks! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 April 2014):
 What an a$$hole!!! AND... YOU put up with this?????
When I wake up my G/F... it's by saying: "Hunchy bunchy, I want to make you a REAL woman, this morning... so make sure you're not wearing anything, 'cuz I'm going to make you one VERY HAPPY WOMAN!!!!!"
If'n he doesn't do/say that... then you are allowed to dump his sorry a$$$$!!!!!..
Good luck...
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (28 April 2014):
 I believe in training/teaching them from the beginning, not this several months later… At first my fella was not familiar with giving or receiving affection… In my situation, now he knows better than to leave without kissing me before he leaves for work of a morning and when he’s at home he brings me a cuppa coffee before I get out of bed on week-ends.
Regardless of circumstances, being a morning person or not, it’s a case of having manners. Like you I am an affectionate person (not needy) so we tend to be a little sensitive to how we are spoken to… using words like; “I gotta kick you out”, followed by not seeing us off at the front door and dismissing our needs does appear to be rather casual, unromantic and lacking in sensitivity. Yet for him, it’s nature and it doesn’t mean that he’s not into you. (Although how is everything else in the relationship? Are you being treated with respect and given affection other than behind closed doors?)
For me, it’s a simple case of putting your foot down in how you like to be treated and spoken to. Next time he says, “I gotta kick you out”, tell him he’s worn that line out long enough! Give it a break mate and while you’re up, how about putting the jug on for cuppa before I go, thx sweetheart, kiss kiss!?
CAA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2014): Maybe he's just not a morning person or maybe he only does that stuff at night to get you in the mood for sex.
the key thing here is you've talked to him about it and he;s dismissive of it.
It's not hard to be nice and/or affectionate to someone in the morning too. The fact he only does that stuff in the build up to sex is not a good sign going forward.
It depends though, OP. My wife gets up earlier than me and there's no warmth or affection when she's getting ready for work it's all business. She's only warm and affectionate in the morning if she wants a quickie or doesn't have work. She does give me a kiss goodbye most of the time though.
What happens when you stay and he doesn't have to kick you out? Does he put much effort into being sweet in his contact with you or is he all business until you're there and he wants sex?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 April 2014):
 You stay with him ONCE a week and he says this to you? I don't care what his reasons are for saying this, its just not acceptable. Of course it makes you feel trashy, that's what his intentions are. No one treats their girlfriend like this, and if they do, then you know what you mean to them.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (27 April 2014):
 Where does he live, on his own, with family, with room mates? Sometimes that can make a difference in how he feels in the morning and not wanting to make a scene in front of people.
If he lives on his own, then this guy is being a total jerk - I mean, he is being a jerk no matter who he lives with but there can be SOME leniency if other people are to be contended with but I don't know, anyone who is truly into you would surely want to have you stick around in the morning, share a shower or breakfast or something, not have you drive home as if you're doing the drive/walk of shame after a seedy night out! People shouldn't make you feel like that, if that is where this is going or how it could be making you feel if it continues!
I bet he has some feeling for you for him to be able to be with you in the first place, but I would honestly give this guy a wide birth and yourself some space to think about whether this is how you want to allow yourself to be treated because it really isn't his choice to put that on you - instead, don't go over next time he asks, knowing how it'll end in the morning, or play him at his own game and go over, have some fun and then tell him you've got to go and leave that evening and don't give him the satisfaction of even making it to the morning, see how that makes him feel!?
I am not usually into playing games, but his actions are ridiculous and he obviously feels like he is in total control to continue the pattern and so either chat it out with him, play him at his own game or let this one go - he doesn't sound like much of a keeper to me!
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