A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a horrible relationship for too long but don't want to leave because of my son. When he had finished his gcses in July then I WILL be leaving. My boyfriend is controlling, abusive and has mistreated me for many years.6 months ago I became friends with a man at work. We began speaking and I told him my problems - it was good to have a mans perspective on things. I confided in him that I was going to leave my husband once my sons exams are done.This was about 6 months ago and although I am attracted to this man, we work together so our relationship has not developed. He is flirty with me, I don't think he has feelings for me beyond that of friendship. We continue to speak at work and we text and speak via social media outside of work.He knows my husband works away most weekends (read takes his other women on weekend breaks) and we often text on weekends.This weekend my husband didn't go away and he text me on Saturday evening. All it said was how is your weekend going? I don't have his number saved and my husband questioned who it was. I lied and said I didn't know and that it was probably a wrong number. He made me reply and ask who it was. Luckily for me the other man cottoned on and replied saying I'm sorry I've just realised I mistyped the number so got me off the hook.When my husband left on Sunday morning I text the man from work saying thank you for covering and I'm sorry and that I had an ok weekend. He hasn't replied. I've heard nothing from him since despite texting him twice more.I have this week off work and am not back til next Tuesday. Why has he suddenly gone cold on me?
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female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (25 April 2014):
 Its a catch 22 situation. You have a male a son with your husband that brings alot of issues strong issues. I had to leave my ex and we have daughters. I definitely didnt want my children not to have there father in there immediate life. But it happen with me most times with him at times.I know you dont want your sonz treat women the way he treats you. Although some women like mistreatment. Also dont feel rushed to leave do that when time is right for you only.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014): I don't want to leave yet as I've kept my son very sheltered from this mans behaviour and he is about to sit some of the most important exams of his life and the last thing I want to do is affect that with this upheaval.
I haven't messed the other man around, he knows the situation very well and chooses to text me and as I say I'm sure he doesn't have romantic feelings towards me. I rarely contact him first.
I know I need to leave my husband and I will stick to that.
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A
male
reader, JSBach +, writes (23 April 2014):
Wait till you see him in person and then ask him. He is probably just being really careful about texts because he can't be sure that you are the one writing them or whether your husband is looking over your shoulder.
Here's an idea for the future: if this is the reason he is being so careful, agree on a code word that you can include in any texts to show that you are alone and can text freely.
Or better still, stop texting. You're old enough to remember how we managed to communicate before mobile phones, and as you see him in person most weekdays, do you really need to text each other?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (23 April 2014):
 He's tired of the game that you've been playing. You crib and complain about your husband and then when this man tries to be nice and initiate conversation with you, you don't even give him the respect that he deserves. You basically made him feel THAT small.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 April 2014):
 Another possibility is that he realizes you could be injured because of that text, and that your boyfriend may have control of your phone. So rather than risk it, he's gone to radio silence.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (23 April 2014):
He's gone cold because he probably realized he shouldn't be talking to a married woman.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014): Think about it, OP. He's covering for you, doing you a favour and he asks you how you are getting on and you basically responded "who are you?"
Well done for making the choice to leave by the way, it's not easy. Just make sure you follow through.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014): Probably because he didn't "cotton on" and is actually really pissed off with such a rude reply. Or maybe it was actually a wrong number because you don't have it saved. Or he's getting sick of playing these games with a woman who moans about her boyfriend being so shit but is still with him.
I'd go with the first one. But a word of warning, OP, it gets old. You want to raise your son in an environment of abuse and control then that's your business, but you don't really get to moan about it because it's a choice you're making and it has no benefit to your son whatsoever, in fact he's more of a victim in this than you seeing as he doesn't have a say in where he has to live, so it does get old. You're "friend" will get tired of it.
OP you'll find out when you return to work, he's probably pissed off thinking you led him on because you're usually free on the weekends, he may even feel a bit used and it may be dawning on him that he's nothing more than an enabler for you to stay in abusive relationship.
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