A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If any could give advice it would be appreciated.. right I have come to a stage in my life where I realised I'm going no where fast.. and I'm unhappy and want to do something about.I've been smoking cannabis for 10 years and want to stop, I also am still with parents and it depresses me because I should have my own place by now.. also I want to get in shape so started a gym again.Now my issues are, most of my good mates smoke cannabis soo I won't be able to be with them for a bit. And so my evenings wud be go gym come home play my computer game.. which again depresses me.I am in a basic job with a basic pay, yet I need more, but I don't know what career change I can do.. also I struggle with confidence even though I'm a salesman ha.I also need to move forward from an ex over years ago, I've tried but no girls really compare to her to be honest..So basically, I want to quit weed but my life will be depressing. I want a new job but feel I can't get anything good.. and I don't want to spend my days thinking I'm never gonna meet a special girl again.So how can I find motivation when deep down I think im gonna get no where in life?It's probably a daft question.. but I just don't know how to move forward.. thank you
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (26 August 2013):
 "Sounds" to me like you've got your entire future figured out, and there's nothing positive about it.......
Is that how YOU feel? Is that how you WANT TO FEEL? If "yes," then you are on the right path....
IF you actually give a darn about making a better life for yourself, then plan on turning about 180 degrees and changing yourself (and your life) WHOLESALE..... Don't spend even a whit of your time lamenting what has happened up 'til now... but, instead, spend all your time and mental energy figuring out how to make your life better...
P.S. When I write "...spend all your time and mental energy..." .. that is a polite was of saying STOP with all the video game B/S (that you revealed) and grow up and confront the world as it is... NOT as you would like it to be!!!!!
Good luck...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2013): U can act your way into a feeling, but cant feel your way in to an act. Basically once u start to make the positive changes the more motavated you feel. The weed thing will hurt do expically with your friends bein smokers too. A night class will help distract you/make new friends and the oppertunity to get more qualifications. Movin out of home if an option could help give you a kick start, change is good you feel more indapendent have your own space to entertain women. Best of luck
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A
male
reader, Ayan Ganguly  +, writes (24 August 2013):
 Hi, you know all the answers that you are trying to seek,its time you put your head down and do what you are wishing to do, and as for the motivational part no amount of inspirational talks could help you unless you are determined enough to help yourself live the life you wish to live and when you are that determined you don't need any external motivation,my friend its your life so take charge, and comeon you cant change overnight, but try everyday to live your wishful life,and you know what the best part of being down and out is it can't get any worse, so have faith its never too late to have a better life
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2013): First of all well done mate for making the decision to stop smoking weed. It is obviously heightening the feeling of you feeling depressed.
Why don't you find something you really like doing and apply to go to college to get the qualification for it. That will also bring better pay and a better job. You will make new friends and develop a good social life. I met my long life friends at college when I was 24 we went on holidays, nights out it was great. I also met my girlfriend there.
Good luck mate.
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