| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: This is my last post.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-i-still-feel-sad-miss-him.htmlSo the last time I talked to my ex, he said he will marry me if I fly to him tomorrow. He said he's not over me. I asked why he didn't wish me happy birthday after we broke up since I was the closest person to him. I can't even compare to any of his facebook friends? (He has a lot of acquaintances on his facebook)He replied to me that it was because I blocked him. That's why he missed it. I was very mad about his answer. Now he still calls and I've been thinking about him a lot. I thought I was doing fine without him and I'm over him before he contacted me. Now I just think that I'm not. I just can't stick to my guns. What do I do?
View related questions:
broke up, facebook, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2013): As sage old guy says "throw yourself at me and I'll marry you!" Under HIS conditions. And he's you're expected to invest the money, and the EMOTION and commitment of running into his arms...He dumped you callously with little explanation, he ignores you and plays games, hey so what if you're distraught and wondering why you've been disposed of... As long as HE'S got the upper hand.Listen to what everyone's saying about him. He is NOT what you need to fill the VOID that is clouding your judgment and exacerbating your feelings of low self worth. He is 1000 % NOT love. I suggest getting some sort of therapy as it really seems as though you've got dependency issues, low self esteem worth etc. Save yourself some time and heartache and go back to NO contact. He is playing you emotionally and doesn't deserve any of your time / emotion. Take care xxxx
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (21 August 2013):
 It sounds like you guys definitely aren't made for each other.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (21 August 2013):
 Firstly, consider the reasons you broke up in the first place. Those issues haven't gone away.
Secondly, you get used to being with someone and it can take time to adjust to them not being there. Loneliness is NOT love.
Marriage is a legal contract between two people who love each other promising to face problems head on together and work them out together. It is not a cure for a relationship in trouble.
His proposal of marriage is no more than an attempt to control you. To see if you'd do his bidding.
You're moving forward with your life, continue in that direction. You have no reason to talk to him. Make new friends, go out with old friends, fill your days with people who love, inspire and support you. You will recover from this and the loneliness will ease. It just takes time, be brave sweetheart x
...............................
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (21 August 2013):
 Stop talking to him, birthday or no birthday. You have no reason to be in touch with your ex. Go back to no contact, block him in every way possible, and you will get back to where you were: doing fine without him, over him.
Good luck. You can stick to your guns, you just need some will power and patience.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 August 2013):
 He couldn't have MAILED you a card for your birthday? You having blocked him it a LAME ASS excuse. EXCUSE.
So YOU have to fork up the money and FLY up to see him and THEN he will marry you? What is so important about tomorrow? Well I can tell you how I read it.. he says JUMP & Marriage and expects you to do both... That isn't love, honey.
CUT all contact and let him go.
You were ON your way to being over him, he just picked that scab right off.... Put a band aid on it, girl and forget about this one.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 August 2013):
 "Fly to him tomorrow"????? Heck, for the guy you've described, I wouldn't STEP OVER A PUDDLE to get to him in order to throw myself at him in an ill-fated marriage.
Remind the cad that REAL MEN who want to marry REAL WOMEN take the initiative by giving REAL EVIDENCE that they are in love with that woman (and want to marry her) ... and DO NOT give the unfortunate lady a chance ("fly to (me) tomorrow") to become his victim in a sorry "dance" of "I'll claim that I love you if you'll throw yourself at me"......
Find a better prospect for a husband. This one is no prospect, at all....
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 August 2013):
 "he said he will marry me if I fly to him tomorrow"
seriously there are conditions on his marrying you?
if he truly loved you and wanted to marry you there would not be any conditions on it... why is flying to him tomorrow the crux of the proposal?
He can't remember your birthday if he doesn't have a facebook reminder? SERIOUSLY... can you name the birthdays of your best friends without facebook... I can.
Don't answer his calls... if it's over and done, then it's over and done and you need no contact.
...............................
|
