A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just a quick question. In this day is it better to be more cheeky with the ladys then too polite? I mean I'm oddly old fashioned, and not a major touchy person with girls.. even ones I like.. heck if I meet them I. Might give them a peck on the cheek.. Don't get me wrong once I'm confirmed as partner or boyfriend, I fine as I know I can.But I see other lads and they don't give it 2nd thoughts, and I know in the past I've lost girls for not being forward enough.Should I change the way I'm am and try to be more forward or hold out for a girl similar to me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 August 2013):
 I think a guy with manners is sexy as heck. BUT there is the line of being so polite that a girl thinks you are either NOT interested, want to be "friends" or (no offense) reserved.
Positions your chest and shoulders toward the girl you are interested in, it shows interest without having to actually grope her.
Look a girl in the eyes when talking, hold it for more then 5 seconds unless she seems uncomfortable with it.
Like WiseOwlE said, being polite can easily be taken as being reserved, awkward or insecure.
I'm not saying you need to start playing grab-ass (because that isn't particularly charming either) but don't hold yourself back from letting a girl know that you are interested.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): I would just like to add you can never be too much of a gent! :) xx
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 August 2013):
 I vote for "cheeky". I've never encountered a woman who said, "Gee, (my name here), even though you haven't been a bit cheeky, and off-colour, with me... I still want to get naked with you, in bed, this evening...."
"Good" guys often go home to pleasure themselves.... "Bad" boys often end up in someone else's bed... and have a great time overnight.....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): I don't think you should act too forward without having that confidence to know what you're doing- you'll come unstuck, and maybe just come across as a bit desperate or sleazy. You don't need to act like Mr Alpha; all you need to do is find a way to overcome your nerves and be confident enough to make that move from time to time.Relax and don't over think it, I advise go out and take up a sport , as good exercise liberates your mind and releases all sorts of chemicals that affect everything about the way you function. As someone with anxiety since a young age, it just does such great things for nerves. Do you cycle? I've read it's the best kind of exercise for anxiety, and furthermore, depression. Or a social sport.. A fun hobby where you can come out of yourself a bit more. Be happy and confident in yourself, bite the bullet and take a chance now and then, you have a thought, go with it, spontaneity can be very sexy and sometimes you just need to act on the impulse, And don't beat yourself up for being too much of a gent! Better than being a sleaze haha...! :) and just for the record, I like a man who keeps himself to himself a bit, it's intriguing, be a bit of an enigma ;) Good luck! :) x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): It depends on the girl. You gauge your behavior by what seems to make her happy.
It's always right to be respectful and good to a woman. Girls who like being mistreated don't go for guys like you. They prefer bad boys, because they have low self-esteem; and feel that's what they deserve.
You do have some responsibility to be romantic and make her feel special and attractive. She has to be able to tell if you're her lover, or just a platonic friend. There is nothing wrong with being polite. However; they do like a pass now and then. It makes them feel desirable, and they like a chance at putting you in your place.
They also need to know if and when you want a kiss, and when to submit. You do have to be dominant once in awhile, you are a guy. You peck your grandmother on the check, you kiss a woman.
If you're awkward and have no game when it comes to being romantic; that might be a problem when it comes to the ladies. It all comes down to self-confidence.
As you both become more familiar, and she is comfortable with you. Gently stroke her hair. Look into her eyes. Compliment how she looks. Hold her hand. Place your hand gently and warmly in the lower curve of her back. It shows gentle and respectful affection.
If you're with a girl who is more aggressive, she'll expect you to touch her. Listen to how she talks and make your moves according to what she tells you she likes.
Always ask women what they like. You are a man, you should know some things instinctively.
I do recommend that you do some reading about what women like and get some practice. Let your moves come easy and don't be stiff. You have to be confident and relaxed around women. Polite girls like confident men too.
They get irritated with awkward or nervously stiff men. They'll dump you quickly.
Can you blame them?
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