A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a girlfriend for the first time in my life. We've been together for almost 6 months. She told me before we committed to a serious relationship that she was very sexual since she was 15. I was a virgin but lied and told her I had a few sexual experiences in my life. She proved to be very experienced with sex. 1 thing that bothers her and me is when she give me oral sex I don't like to ejaculate in her mouth. She get's upset that I won't or seldom do. I don't like that she enjoys that then expects me to kiss her with my cum on her mouth. I don't want to ask my friends about this, they think I'm nuts for getting involved with a "slut". I'm grossed out by this. Is this normal for a woman to enjoy that or is a fetish for some. She said that when I give her oral sex I'm eating up all her juice so what's the difference. Am I being prudish? She really likes that and told me she did. What's up with this?
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male
reader, bigblackbear  +, writes (27 August 2013):
you should make it clear where you stand.granted if you was a virgin until meeting her she will take the reigns sexually in the relationship.if it is oral sex in general that is uncomfortable for you. You should let her know that even though you do not mind giving oral you do not want to receive it.but if she really wants you to ejaculate in her mouth (more importantly IF you want to as well)Then simply set some boundaries.Such as having a spare toothbrush and toothpaste and insisting that she brush her teeth before kissing.Leave ejaculating in her mouth until last when both of you are done having sex.Or go deepthroat so that your sperm does not actually enter her mouth.From what you said her main point is that because it is okay for you to give oral sex and kiss her it is okay for her to do the same as you exchange bodily fluids.You could either try the toothbrush idea yourself.Or just make your stand on the topic of having your sperm end up in your mouth. I guess you know how you feel about that.Bottomline is that regardless how sexually liberated a person may or may not be.They are always lines people are not willing to cross.Things that just don't feel right.Is crossing those lines some thing you are willing to do?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2013): I don't think you are prudish at all. It is a lot uncommon for a guy not to want to do it, but I think that's a good thing. I am a girl and I HATE the thought of a guy cumming in my mouth so much, that I haven't even allowed a guy to do it. If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it.
I don't believe your girl should dump you and I don't believe you should feel pressured into something you don't like.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 August 2013):
 Let me tell you my take on it and maybe this will help.
Swallowing is easier.
It's neater and it doesn't taste as bad as "catch and release" and it's not as messy as cumming on the bed or worse ON HER.
I hate when a man wants to ejaculate ON ME.
but when I give a blow job the head of the penis is so far back in my mouth that the cum bypasses my tongue totally and there is no taste. In fact, the only way I know my partner is having an orgasm is from the pulsing sensation and the sensitivity when I am done.
NO muss... no mess, no fuss, no taste and no cum in my mouth...
I'd rather swallow than spit or let him finish himself.
does that put a different spin on it for you?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (26 August 2013):
 OP, I got caught up in the other answers that I missed your actual question. You asked whether or not this was prudish, not whether or not it was selfish. My answer is no, it is not prudish. Just a personal preference and probably more common than your guy friends might have you believe.
Too many young people are trying to live up to what they see in porn.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (26 August 2013):
Wow. I can't believe some of the nasty responses you've received. Swallowing other people's body fluids was never a favourite past time of mine either. So no, I do not think you're being selfish.
You're not obliged to like something and do it just because your girlfriend likes it and does it. If, on the other hand, she didn't like it and you expected her to do it just because you liked it, THAT would be selfish.
Op, there are some women who like it, there are some who don't like it but will do it anyway and there are many women who don't like it and won't do it. I've known and known of more of the latter than the former. To those who enjoy it, all the power to them, but it really is a personal preference and not one you should be judged harshly for. Unless, like I said, you're expecting your girlfriend to do for you what you won't do for her.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 August 2013):
 Yes you are prudish. Puzzlingly so. Some women feel uncomfortable swallowing because of their own hang ups, or becaus they genuinely dislike its taste or smell- but if your gf is not among them, does not have a problem with having you ejaculate in her mouth, in fact she actually said she would like it, - what's your problem ?!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2013): Let me get this straight you are a man who doesn't want to come in your girlfriend's mouth? You are a one in a million my friend.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 August 2013):
 It IS "normal"... and YOU, Sir, are passing up a great opportunity!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2013): I think "slut" was the OP's friends word for the girl, not his. He seems to have plenty of respect for her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2013): You are not being prudish. It's really very normal what you are feeling. I'm not sure how you explain to her how you feel. Try the truth. Your feelings are important and try not to let anyone tell you that what you feel does not count, because it does.
I cared about one man so much that I asked him to come in my mouth because I thought he would like me for doing that. Afterwards, I asked him how it felt for him and he replied "do you want me to tell you the truth?" I said "yes" and then he said "I didn't like it but please don't hate me for that". You are not alone in your thoughts and feelings.
Have courage my friend
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 August 2013):
 You're grossed out by what exactly? Her wanting to give you oral, her wanting you to squirt in her mouth, or her wanting you to kiss her afterwards?
Honestly, I think she ought to leave you. Not only are you lying to her, you're also calling her a slut behind her back. What a treat you are to her! Seriously, if you have some respect then treat her better and just talk to her about this. Be honest with her. If you're only with her to have sex (as it seems by your wording, lying and calling her a slut) then you got what you wanted and I don't see why you complain.
If you think sex is something to be grossed out by then maybe you're not ready for it? Maybe give it a few more years before you try it again? What she wants is perfectly normal.. really. You don't sound ready for sex, or a relationship. A relationship does not start with lying, and yes, you are prudish. Oral sex is perfectly normal and healthy. It's okay to not like it, sure, but being grossed out by something that is so natural to others might be a sign you're not ready for it.
Think about what you want. Please. And treat her with more respect, she's not a slut just because she enjoys sex. That would make you a slut too, because you're sleeping with her after all. So have some self respect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2013): You are not only be prudish; but selfish. She will do whatever you like, and she deserves the same.
What's with this stuff about being a "slut?" She told you she was experienced, and what she likes. You were the liar.
In over our head, are we? Careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. You went for gold and hit the jackpot.
You'll have to tell her the truth. Compromise by cumming in her mouth, if she likes that. The kissing afterward isn't your thing, so let her know that. You need to have a discussion with your lady to get things out in the open; so she is able to tone it down; if it's too much for you. Come
clean (pardon the pun). Stop posing.
Keep the opinions of your friends out of your bedroom. Best way I know to have dudes after your girlfriend. Don't be a dummy. That's too much information to pass around to male friends. They apparently know too much already, maybe you should have listened beforehand.
You obviously aren't using condoms. She is more experienced than you. I suggest you both get tested together. She has been exposed to more partners than you, and her risky approach to sex could compromise your health.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 August 2013):
 Sounds like you two don't find the same things "sexy". Some men LOVE it when a woman swallows, snowball, spit, rubs it all over her face/body - some don't.
You are in the latter category. I think you should just tell her it's a turn off for you.
It's OK to LIKE to give oral but not receive - just like it's OK to like to receive but not give. Talk to her, tell her this is what I like, and this is what I don't like. Find a middle ground that makes you both happy.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 August 2013):
Well, everyone is entitled to their preferences, but it does seem a little prudish to me. I don't necessarily disagree about kissing her after, I've always thought that was weird.
In my experience, it's better to be saying "yes" to sexual acts that your partner likes, even if you aren't into them, as opposed to saying "no" and finding out that your partner doesn't feel fulfilled.
The exception is if you REALLY oppose something... nobody should feel bad about sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2013): Nothing is up with it, lots of women enjoy giving oral sex including swallowing semen. In my experience most men definitely prefer that too so she's probably confused about why you don't (not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with that of course). Why does it bother you? If its just the thought of it that grosses you out then tell her that. No-one should have to do anything they don't like sexually. I'm concerned from your post that its a bit more than that though - you sound like you are judging your girlfriend based on her past behaviour. Do you think she's a 'slut' and that's why she likes it? Because that's not the case at all. And your friends calling her horrible names like that is not on either, I hope you defend her when they say things like that?
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