A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So lately, everyone has been commenting on how pale I am. I mean its the summer time and I work as a lifeguard so you'd think I'd be super tan but nope, I have to wear a lot of sunscreen and when I don't, I get badly burned very easily and the burn eventually fades back into white. I have gotten compliments saying I resemble Snow White because I'm so pale and my hair is so dark with hazel eyes, but of course there are also a lot of people that tell me "you'd be gorgeous if you just got a tan". Is being tan really considered to be more beautiful? I really don't want a spray tan or anything, but I also don't want to be considered as ugly or sickly-looking. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2013): I live in a 'beach town' and try my hardest to stay as pale as possible!
I personally think pale girls look more classical, and are a rarity in todays 'orange tan' obsession.
I have been told often by men, that they love my porcelain/innocent looking skin.
And we'll have great skin when we grow old!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): Where I come from tan is associated with low economical status, or one who spends their time outside under the sun and working. It is not appealing. In the West, however, tan skin is considered attractive. I personally cannot stand dark skin (on me of course). White is beautiful. You have to go with whatever you think you like and not because it is the trend.
A word of caution: too much fun under the sun will damage your skin. The most noticeable effect being that you will look old and worn out.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 August 2013):
 The biggest thing about tanning - in my book - is if a girl who HAS a tan is willing you to show me her "tan lines"..... If she does (show them)... then I know she has the kind of morals that I seek in a lady....
IF she sez "I'm not removing or adjusting my bathing suit top or bottom just so some pervert like you can try to get and eye- or handful...." ... then I know I'm not likely to get very far with her... so I back off...
...............................
A
male
reader, adaminio  +, writes (20 August 2013):
Be what you wanna be.. to fair I don't like tanned girls that much.. and prefer pale girls so each to their own
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 August 2013):
The best way to go about this is to divide your body right down the middle and have each half be complete opposites from each other. One side would be spray tanned, have long blonde hair, wear a lot of makeup, and have one big fake boob. The other should be your natural self.
Or you can just be happy with who you are and understand that each person, including yourself, has different preferences. There is a guy out there who you're perfect for, so don't worry about a guy who says you need a tan.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): You are most beautiful when you make the most of your natural assets. Embrace your skin tone and wear clothes and makeup and colours that complement it. Look for celebrities with your skin tone and borrow the looks that you think works on them.
You'll feel fake and second rate if you strive to be what you're not. But you'll feel more confident if you accept yourself fpr what your parents gave you.
You'd be surprised how many dark skinned people strive to be lighter skinned so it really is a case of the grass being greener.
Love yourself and take no notice if those who would have you follow a trend that is not you :-)
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 August 2013):
 I have two versions.. lobster or pale. I do NOT tan well at all.
I'm from Scandinavian/Scottish stock with fair hair, eyes and skin and apparently we do not really tan. Skin cancer also run in my family, so I'm pretty careful with my skin AND my kids.
I/WE wear SPF of 70+ and can still burn.
I used to HATE not being able to tan, but all things considered my skin looks nice, barely any wrinkles in my mid 40's.
I have found I rather be FIT and pale.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): I used to cry over not being able to tan & not looking like a latina. I'm a blue eyed, pale, brown haired Eastern European. You cannot get whiter. Its in our genes. What I quickly figured out with the help of my latina friend is that pale is different and gorgeous - Look at all fashion runway models. Look at Milla Jovovich and other European models. Its such a fragile beauty and now days not very common in the US. Look around you, in the US the wealthy majority are white. My latina friend pointed out that white is now very much a class issue...that and many latinas and Asian women use creams to lighten themselves to look more European. Statistics show somewhere over half of women in SE Asia use whitening creams. I think the tan craze has more to do with your age and peer group. Do some research, look around you and look for positive examples who look like you. You wouldn't believe how many women want the pale European look.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 August 2013):
 To be tanned is just another skin colour, really. Yes, it is popular to be bronzed these days, so all the mulattoes are lucky. They got the perfect "popular" skin tone. Also everyone Latin-American or Mediterranean. However, some people aren't mulattoes, or Latin-American, and they never will be. No matter how much they tan. So honestly, I do not see the point.
Some people think long hair on women is beautiful, but if you're a person who's hair looks like shit when it gets longer then I wouldn't recommend saving for long hair. No matter what "people" tell you or think. They can like what they like, doesn't mean YOU have to alter your looks. Some people think a slim waist is great too, but do you hear anyone going up to a chubby girl saying "you'd be so pretty if you lost weight"?
No, people have been taught that that is an offense, what they don't see is that it's also an offense to tell you you'd be more beautiful if only this or that. So screw them, they're rude, and what do they know of beauty?
Besides, you and me both know you'd never get that Latin-American tan no matter how hard you tried, because that just isn't your skin tone! Simple as that. It's not your skin tone.
So be happy with the colour you have. I'm also fair (not pale, I'm fair... sounds a lot better). I don't even bother trying, I'm never going to become a Mediterranean person, and there will always be those will darker more bronzed skin than me. And, the fake tan? It is so obviously fake! It's ugly! Don't turn orange please...
I also think about the fact that if I wear sunscreen my face and skin is going to look young and great while I'm older, and not wrinkly and full of spots. Oh and yeah, the skin cancer point is also a good one...
If someone told me I'd be much prettier with more tan they'd regret it. I feel gorgeous enough as it is, and I don't need stupid people with stupid comments in my life.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 August 2013):
 There was a time that being tan meant you were a laborer... or a slave and worked outside doing low-class work. It was more affluent to not have a tan....
then the leisure class kicked in and having a tan meant you had wealth and it was seen as attractive.
Here's the key... being in the sun without good sunscreen is a sure fire way to get CANCER... I have to go every 6 months for a full body scan... I laid in the sun wearing baby oil laced with iodine as a teen... and now I'm covered with age spots and per-cancerous lesions that have to be removed regularly.
My father also never wore sun screen and was very fair.. and he just had a 5 inch lesion removed from his chest. His dermatologist refers to him as her retirement plan.
My husband is very pale. He also has tons of spots and avoids the sun now.
Tanning is a way to ruin your skin... it will give you spots and lines and wrinkles when you are older...
and possibly skin cancer... that means scars when they cut it off of you... or death if they can't get it all.
KEEP wearing the sunscreen and being healthy for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 August 2013):
 You know the old saying; "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and you have already answered your question when you say you get compliments on your white skin.
As for tanning through exposure to the sun ....... danger, danger. While skin cancer may not be as prevalent in the US as it is in Australia it is still a genuine risk, and fake tans ..... well how fake can you get.
I suggest you stick to slathering yourself with sun block, say 'thankyou' nicely when you are complimented on your white skin, and also say 'thankyou' nicely when people give you the unrequested advice about tanning ..... think about that word and what it really means..... it means turning skin into leather, do you really want that?
...............................
A
female
reader, angel91 +, writes (20 August 2013):
Everyone is different, and everyone sees 'beauty' differently too. I have swarthy friends, and I have pale friends, and they're equally as beautiful.
I'm like you - pale and burns easily. For me, I'd rather be pale and natural than faketanned. Tan isn't us, and we wouldn't look like us with a tan. I think you're doing the right thing with sunscreen - your skin and health is far more important than the opinions of others.
You'll find someone who finds you beautiful just as you are, promise! :)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): You can never please every single person in the world. There will always be people who complain about something not being right (in their own opinion). Don't let others waste your time.
Pale is beautiful. Olive is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Silicon boobs are not beautiful. Fake tans are not beautiful.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): The tanned look only came in because Coco Chanel came back from the South of France with one lord knows how many years ago now.
There is no model for beautiful. Each person has different opinions, even those who might seem similar.
I prefer pale to tanned because these days tanned is ordinary and boring.
Be what you are. Not what others expect you to be.
Flynn 24
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): I can imagine being on a beach scene why people would say a tan is better. But also being pale is beautiful also. An ex of mine was a brunette and pale skinned. She looked stunning in an evening dress when we were at various parties.
I wouldn't use sunbeds or try to tan if you burn easily. Just imagine how good your skin is going to be in your 30's, 40's and beyond compared to all those than are sun worshippers.
...............................
|
