A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'd like to sort of drive my new guy crazy before giving in to sex when I'm at his place next time. How do I go about doing this subtly, sort of playing hard to get until he gets really fustrated and just can't resist anymore? I'm thinking maybe let us make out then make excuses to talk about nonsense every now and again or watch a movie, but I don't want to make things boring. Any ideas? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you for the answers! To clear things up; I did not mean trying to play mind games with him. I agree that blurring the lines between play, sex and consent can eventually be very disastrous. Maybe I phrased this wrong, but I just wanted a way to prolong the foreplay and make us both even more excited for the actual sex. I decided on a striptease/dance for him though, as I tied him to the bed, and he LOVED it!! I had so much fun doing it (and was a little nervous at first) but was even more happy he enjoyed it too :) So thanks for that suggestion.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (28 August 2014):
Dear OP,
I don't recommend the approach you're suggesting. You don't want to make your boyfriend "really frustrated".. because that's not how you get great sex, just a pissed-off boyfriend. I think what you are looking for is ways to tease your boyfriend a little bit, you don't need any mind games for that. Just go slow, take your time to kiss, undress each other, maybe take a shower together. But it's the first time you'll be sleeping together, it's not going to be boring anyways.
My advice is, then, to NOT plan too much and have too many ideas about what to do to him and how to tease him.. just be spontaneous and always make sure you're in tune with him and also your own needs. You don't have to be a skillful sex-goddess that knows every trick in the book, because as another OP pointed out, sex should be a way to communicate your true feelings for him and also read your partners' signals. It's something you create together, not the result of one persons' ideas. If you turn sex into a performance act, you might create more misunderstanding than a really sexy atmosphere.
So, my dear OP, enjoy the uncertainty of the first time with your guy. Enjoy that you don't know yet what is going to happen and how. Just make sure you both will respect each others boundaries and have safer sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2014): Give him a lap dance where he has to sit on his hands or tie him up and tease him that way.
OP make teasing part of the sexual act/foreplay, not a game played beforehand. If he's a nice guy he'll respect you and won't push things if you make it seem like you don't want sex. Worst case scenario you play the game you're thinking and in the future when you really mean it he thinks you're playing again and keeps pestering you.
Make teasing part of foreplay, when you've already agreed to sex and he knows it's going to happen. You can tease him that way so badly that he'll be dying to stick it in.
If you play annoying games trying like pushing him away any time he tries to make a move, or try to talk about nonsense then that'll only piss him off. Or as I said, next time you do it and you really don't want to have sex he'll think you're playing games again and not respect your decision not to.
OP there is a fine line between playing hard to get and blurring the lines of consent. He won't find it fun for you to consistently refuse him only to admit you wanted to all along, he'll more than likely just be turned off.
If you really want to get him going, do a strip tease and lap dance where he's not allowed to touch you. You can get very close to him with your naked body with the rule that if he touches you with his hands then you don't have sex, you can tease him to the point where he'll hardly be able to control himself and then you give him permission to go for it.
OP don't play hard to get before you give consent, we're not mind readers and the next time you do it you may be serious and you may end up trying it with a guy who then thinks fucking you without consent is okay because last time you were only playing and this time you must be too.
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (27 August 2014):
And you drive him crazy then maybe change your mind for real. I wonder how date rape happens?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (27 August 2014):
 Sharing SEX is not a game... It's an expression of love, concern, respect and lust for one-another....
I've spent time with women who wish to make SEX a game. I never seem to get past the opening bell.... because it's not a game, after all...
If you have to play a game.... try Scrabble.... and make a wager that the winner can have the loser do whatever he/she wants... to him/her.... no matter how debauched it may be....
Good luck....
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