I only contacted him because of the baby
Q. i tried posting this yesterday but i can't find anywhere. My situation, i contacted my ex bf to inform of our baby. he wanted a dna test so i was just following up to see when/how, if he had found any info about getting a test done, etc. He said he ...
A. 13 December 2014: FOCUS!!!!!! You (and he) want a DNA test done to see if this guy is, in fact, the father of your baby..... Stick to arranging for that...... and, later, you can come back on here and tell us what happened......
If'n I were he..... I'd do J... (read in full...)
Am I just being a paranoid wife or is there something going on?
Q. Okay I have been married for ten years to a military member. Moved around many times and recently moved to California 5 months ago. I am a stay at home mom for my autistic daughter and have had a hard time finding work due to limited schedule. My ...
A. 13 December 2014: He's CHEATING, CHEATING, CHEATING on you - with this girl. HOW MUCH MORE confirmation do you need to "see" in order to convince you?????
YOUR decision is to decide how/when/where you will make the split with him.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Should I drop this selfish friend?
Q. I have been friends with this woman for about 13 years now. We met when we were 16, and she's been one of my closest friends ever since. However, in 2011 we went on vacation together, and all of the things I dislike about her came too close and it ...
A. 13 December 2014: You write: "..I thought about just letting things drift apart, and only have sporadic contact with her. But it doesn't seem fair after being friends for so many years."
Sooooo, YOU believe that you should be FAIR in your dealings with her........ (read in full...)
Why does this man give me the silent treatment? Why not just tell me what is wrong?
Q. I have been seeing this man for 3 years now. A few months ago he got really upset with me and wouldn't talk to me for a month. Finally, we talked and began seeing each other again. Now, the same silent treatment is happening, and he has blocked my ...
A. 12 December 2014: You ask: "...Why won't he just tell me the problem and we can move on?..."
I ask: Considering the nature of what HAS gone on... why aren't you just getting away from this guy, and STAYING away? From your submittal, it "sounds" as if there's ... (read in full...)
Is this attitude toward porn reasonable?
Q. I spent many years having a problem with porn. The main issues I had with it were three things Firstly I admit it made me feel he wanted the perfect bodies and saw them as more attractive My second issue was more that the secrecy around porn made...
A. 12 December 2014: You write: "I spent many years having a problem with porn..." I'd suggest that your REAL "problem" is with whoever "he" is... in your submittal.....
Your point of view about pornography is MORE than "reasonable".... in fact, it's downrigh... (read in full...)
Expecting a baby but I can't seem to forgive him
Q. In need of desperate help...I can't take it anymore! It all started in the very beginning. We started dating in march 2013 but I broke up with him cause I felt he was too needy, he just had gotten out of a 6 year relationship 3 months prior (she che...
A. 12 December 2014: After reading through your story of drama, it "sounds" to me as though YOU have only one decision to make....
EITHER have your baby and give her up for adoption to a real family who can care for, nuture and raise her in a home/family ... (read in full...)
Does one bj make your husband gay?
Q. My husband used my laptop and forgot to close the sight he was on, when I got home I turned on the computer to check on a recipe and there it was: My husband was making a date with a woman ( he gave her his cell phone #), I was furious. He said that ...
A. 12 December 2014: Consider to change your focus FROM your hubby's sexual proclivities TO "the fact" that he is seeking to be unfaithful to you....
Use THAT as your basis to decide how (or, IF) to proceed any further, in life, with this man...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Does he just love my mind? Does he turn to porn to due to some dis-satisfaction with my body?
Q. My partner seems to get more excited over the women in porn that he does me. I have also noticed that they have several things in common. They are all young thin and beautiful. He never looks for any woman with a body type remotely like mine. I'...
A. 11 December 2014: You write: "...Or does he just love me for my mind and is settling for my body because he knows his chances of getting a woman who looks like that is very slim?"
There's a cruel irony in what you've written.... and it's this:
EVERY MAN wil... (read in full...)
We bought a home together. Now she's taken up with a new guy and kicked me out of our home. How can I convince her that I'm not the ''controlling'' one?
Q. I have lived with this girl for 3 years. She recently started talking to some other guy and left me. The problem is im pretty sure she is being manipulated. This guy kicked me out of the house we bought together and controlls who she talks to. Ever...
A. 10 December 2014: You write: "The problem is im pretty sure she is being manipulated."
WRONG!!!! That is not "the problem." The problem is that YOU have, in effect, abdicated your standing in this house. NOW you have to back-track and get that changed.... (read in full...)
Why does my ex keep asking about who I might be dating?
Q. Ex, who is now married and I'm sleeping with (not proud of this), keeps asking me about who I'm dating. Why is he asking me this? Why does he even care to know? When I ask him, he changes the subject. He doesn't want a relationship with me again, ...
A. 9 December 2014: Considering that he's sharing YOUR LADY-PARTS with them... he is probably just curious about who else is plowing the same turf that he is......
Are you crazy?????? How long to you intend to keep this up?... (read in full...)
Can you change a bad boy?
Q. Dear cupid, i just want to understand this. Is it possible to change a bad boy. Like he drinks a lot and has two kids with two different woman, he owns his own business and has lots of friend who they enjoy top life.ive seen all this on his facebook ...
A. 9 December 2014: IF I had a nickel for every girl/woman who tried to change me from a bad boy to a good boy ... I WOULD BE ONE VERY WELL-TO-DO man. It doesn't work!!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My wife wants my permission to go out and flirt with other men when it suits her
Q. My wife and I have been together for 17 years, married for 12. We're still young-ish in our 30s because we met young. We've had a great marriage overall and have a relationship that was genuingely best friends first, then it became romantic. She ...
A. 9 December 2014: "Permission to flirt" is a little like "permission to have sex - without birth control - and expecting that... if she REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO... she won't get knocked up....
YOU have to make this decision.... (because she won't)...
Either: You ... (read in full...)
After five years he still won't commit to a date for marriage or children
Q. I am a 29 year old woman, and I've been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years now. My problem is, he can't tell me when he sees us getting married or having children. Each time I have asked him, he says things like 'I don't know', 'not any time ...
A. 9 December 2014: Then YOU need to take the initiative and say to him:
"Hunchy-bunchy, I thought that there was a chance that we might ever become a permanent item... and get married... and have a family.... but you've made it obvious that THAT is not anything... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has no time for me and calls me terrible names
Q. Hi, everyone, hope your day is going well. I have been with my boyfriend for two months now. He lives an hour away, I drive to see him just about every weekend. When I go all he wants to do is play video games. So, for hours I just sit there and ...
A. 9 December 2014: Some boyfriend!!!
Save the two hours (one, there; and one, back) and "donate" that time to a homeless shelter, animal shelter, library or ANYTHING ELSE that has the potential to advance the human condition... AND gets you away from - and not thin... (read in full...)
My mother sucks the joy out of life.
Q. Limiting or completely putting a stop to spending time with toxic people is always recommended. But, what if that person is your mother? I feel sorry for my mum because she is SO insecure that she leeches the life and energy from anyone she spends ...
A. 9 December 2014: You write: "Limiting or completely putting a stop to spending time with toxic people is always recommended. But, what if that person is your mother?"
My answer: IF your Mother is toxic... then she deserves the very same treatment that any othe... (read in full...)
Would every man cheat if he could?
Q. I have big problems trusting men One of my friends claims that almost every man would cheat on his wife if given the opportunity to with a woman with a porn star body if he could be guaranteed not to be caught The sad thing is I think she might ...
A. 9 December 2014: You might, ever, find one or two who wouldn't....
Why do you ask? Do you need to find one of them?
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I've gone a week and a half no contact, how long should I wait before contacting her again?
Q. Hi there, I began dating a friend of mine who is 40 years old and her and I were together for 11 months. It seemed like things were serious as she moved to a townhouse closer to me so that we could see each other during the week. During the time we ...
A. 9 December 2014: Pay attention to this (which you wrote): "I want her back in my life but she says we don't see eye to eye and we don't communicate well. ".... and convince yourself that you and she have no future.... so there's no reason for you to ever consider ... (read in full...)
Why do men persist when they know you are aleady attached?
Q. Hello all, just curious, are there guys out there who despite knowing that a lady is attached, still goes all the way out to ask her out on dates because he is interested in her? And if so, why would they do that when there are many ladies who are ...
A. 9 December 2014: When we (guys) find a lady who is blisterin' hot... and we think that we can get her to put out... there is NO DETERRENT to our pursuing her until/unless we find that there is no future in it....
Does that help explain things?????
P.S. You can... (read in full...)
I don't want to pay for her martinis and lobster plate.
Q. I have a question on what to do in this situation., We go out once a month with my girlfriends. we usually split the check equally., We noticed long ago that one of the girls when we re out orders in exess. By that I mean: she orders always t...
A. 9 December 2014: You (and the others) say:
"Girlfriend, when we all got drinks, meals, and desserts which were about equal in price, it seemed easier and more graceful, to split the bill... and make things easy on us and our wait-person. HOWEVER, if one of u... (read in full...)
My visiting a strip club upset my girlfriend ... how do I fix this?
Q. I need help fixing things with my girlfriend. Over the last few months she has gone off sex quite a bit and we only really have it once a week just now. She's been to the doctor who said she is physically fine so it might be stress or something. ...
A. 9 December 2014: "Sounds," to me, like your "girlfriend" is a cold-as-ice drama queen.... who believes that you will stick by her despite WHATEVER SHE might choose to make of the "relationship" that the two of you have......
I say: THAT is the recipe for a non-fu... (read in full...)
Why are the men in porn so average whereas the women are usually very attractive?
Q. Why are the men in porn so average whereas the women are usually very attractive? My SO and I watch some porn and it seems that in the vast majority the women are outstandingly attractive whereas the men are, very often, borderline ugly. This leav...
A. 6 December 2014: I'm one of those guys who is drop-dead gorgeous.... and don't take part in porn.... so I can give you a definitive reply..... To wit:
Nobody ever ASKED me to do some porn stuff!!!!!!
You can be sure that - if they did... and IF they came thr... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be sexually attracted to your cousin?
Q. I've been attracted to my cousin for as long as I can remember. She is the only female cousin I know of, and on my mother's side of the family, she is the only girl. At least in my generation. I didn't think nothing of it when I was younger because ...
A. 4 December 2014: It's not surprising that a young, hormone-gushing guy would feel that way about ANY hot babe..... It's only an interesting coincidence that she is your cousin.... Tho' it does put an extra layer of "taboo" on your thoughts (as you've expressed ... (read in full...)
I took my begging ex back but I don't feel good about it
Q. Hello! :) I'm a 19-year-old girl who has a 31-year-old boyfriend. We're from very different cultures and things have been bumpy recently for us. We've only been together for six months, but somehow I feel unhappy when I'm with him. I'm a helpl...
A. 4 December 2014: You ask: "....Should I have left him hanging for a few more weeks to make him realize that he loves me?..."
No, you should have left him hanging FOR EVER.... YOU can't "make (a guy) him realize that he loves me...." any more than you can tell... (read in full...)
She says I make her feel like no one ever has, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. Alright so i'm going to do my best to make this as concise as possible. I met this girl from another country on the other side of the world via the internet. She is a very social person and is almost always out and about but she is also insecure and ...
A. 4 December 2014: Here's this OLD MAN's insight:
The Internet is a vaporous and indistinct world... where anybody can be anything or anybody.....
Whatever has transpired between you and this girl is of NO SUBSTANCE until and unless you and she meet - in person... (read in full...)
I don't want to be pushy but I want my boyfriend to stop smoking!
Q. When I started dating my boyfriend, I knew he smoked in the past but had quit. Now, he has started smoking again. I lost my uncle to smoking so I am not ok with smoking at all. Plus it smells! He doesn't go through a pack a day or anything, but it ...
A. 4 December 2014: Nicotine is a horrible addiction.... and it clearly has your B/F....
The only choice to be made is to be made by you.... To wit: Are you content to have him smoking whilest you and he claim to be boyfriend and girlfriend???? ..... or, is smoki... (read in full...)
Boyfriend’s Past Sex Life Bothers Me
Q. I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me, things are pretty good between us. We are like perfect together and I trust him with all my heart which is really hard since I've been hurt really bad by my ex. We both agreed not to talk about his sexual ...
A. 4 December 2014: I believe that your B/F's "hot" past bothers you 'way more than you are letting on.......
You need to make a serious decision.... are you willing to let go of YOUR concerns about his past? .... convinced that he really HAS left his past behind h... (read in full...)
Boyfriend refuses to talk about possible bachelor party
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 5 or 6 years,only living together for about 3 or 3 1/2.In 2011, I gave birth to our one and only daughter. His brother got engaged a while back,maybe last year?! My boyfriend wanted/wants to give him ...
A. 4 December 2014: My "take" is that your handle, "his wifey" is incorrect... and you have now got to figure out that your "B/F" is in total control of things.... as demonstrated by his handling of the "bachelor party" thing... and his indifference to your concern ... (read in full...)
My mother has been telling me that my husband is using me.
Q. I need a second opinion. My husband and I married almost 3 yrs ago. He is from a foreign country. Because we married, he received his green card. We lived with my mother, but moved across the street because he didn't want us to have children and not ...
A. 1 December 2014: Yes, you're "being used."
It's amazing how some people (women do this, too!) will take advantage of a person (like you) whose motives are noble.... whilest their's (motives) are strictly self-serving....
Find out how to conclude your ma... (read in full...)
I'd really like more affection in my marriage
Q. I have been married for 8 yrs now. My husband is a great guy. But he isn't very affectionate. Sex is very good not as often as i would like but he is getting older. I have tried to talk to him time and time again about how important kissing is to ...
A. 1 December 2014: "Does anyone have any advice or have you been through this something similar?
Yes.... you have written that you and he are SEXUALLY/SENSUALLY incompatible. THAT is fatal to any sort of relationship or marriage.....
Get away from him.... sta... (read in full...)
What can I do? My boyfriend is addicted to fantasy sports online?
Q. I know this isn't as serious as an addiction to drugs or alcohol, but I truly believe my boyfriend is addicted to fantasy sports. It's affecting our relationship. It started off earlier this Fall with fantasy football and has expanded to other ...
A. 29 November 2014: Dump this guy.... and take up with one who thinks that YOU are his "fantasy girl".... and he intends to focus all his time and attention on YOU..... You will be glad you did... I GUARANTEE IT!!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend have PMS?
Q. I asked my girlfriend to move in with me and my 2 children and wonder what on earth has hits us, i think she suffers from PMT and have tried to talk to her very gently about this but this only ended in her throwing a pan at me which nearly did hit ...
A. 28 November 2014: PMS is a horrible condition... and there's no real, sensible way to deal with it. Believe me.... 'cuz I'm in my 60's and dated girls in their 60s and 70's who haven't had an "M" in years.... but they STILL have "PMS".....
I think the whole th... (read in full...)
I told him I was a virgin, but left out lots of details
Q. Thanks in advance for your advice. 4 months ago I met an incredible man and we have been dating since. He is 23 and I'm 22. We have a great relationship and I can feel that he truly loves me. Both of us know we share something special and I don't ...
A. 28 November 2014: "Virginity" is 'way overrated.....
Put this behind you and get on with your life with this guy, who - obviously - thinks that YOU are "somethin' special"!!!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Just as I'd started to move on my ex pops back up
Q. I dated my ex for a couple of years. I thought she was the absolute love of my life. But the relationship had many problems, and she wound up breaking my heart. I was devastated by the breakup and never thought I'd get through it. I felt completely ...
A. 28 November 2014: Do you know that game known as "Smack-a-mole"????
Well... consider that your ex- is one of those moles..... and every time you find her popping up and showing up in your mind.... mentally smack her with your mental hammer... and, then, GET ON W... (read in full...)
It felt like he was trying too hard and I didn't enjoy it
Q. Sex life has beeen a bit up and down with my boyfriend lately for a variety of reasons - stress, tired, diet, living at home with his parents, masturbation lol. So we had a talk about putting more effort in (mostly from his part). last night we had ...
A. 28 November 2014: S*x in an interesting subject. The harder you WORK at it, the worse you do!!!!!! The MORE you take it easy and slow, and without destiny.... the better it is.....
Give it another shot.....and see if you and he can ignore one-another all even... (read in full...)
He lied - should I confront him?
Q. theres a guy i like n he likes me or so i thought we were supposed to be seeing each other and going out tomorrow , he said for a joke about going on a dating website he knew i wasnt happy about that and he said he wasnt really , ive just discovered ...
A. 28 November 2014: Forget the "date"... go "no contact"... and, if he asks "Why?" tell him that you learned that he's a lying scum... and you have no place in your life for such a despicable creature.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
How can I make this a success?
Q. Quick story short: I moved to another country in northern Europe to study and live with my boyfriend. It's been a rough start and hard adjusting and settling in. I am in a program with few other students who are also foreigners (or at least ...
A. 28 November 2014: Relax!!! .... and play your CD of "ABBA" hits. Scandanavians CAN'T RESIST that... and they will LOVE YOU, afterwards........
P.S. When a woman plays "Dancing Queen" I am always ready to put out for her!!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Why can't I stop thinking about my ex ever since I found out that he is engaged?
Q. I just found out that my exboyfriend just got engaged. We've been separated for about 2 years and 6 months now. We were together for 11 years and I broke up our engagement because I got fed up with his lies and cheating. He tried to get back to ...
A. 25 November 2014: Please focus on THIS....which you wrote: "...I needed to try to move on with my live (life) and he needed to move on with his...."
Soooooo, now, he's "moved on with his"... and it's incumbent upon YOU to do the same thing. Don't spend another ... (read in full...)
I don't care about what he's done to me but he cant just abandon our child!
Q. Looking for some guidance on what to do here!! I have posted here before about this waster of a man I've spent the last 4 yrs with and I got some great advice. Just to quickly give u some back ground.. i'm 26. I've been with a man 14 years my seni...
A. 25 November 2014: WHY, WHY, WHY would you allow yourself to get in to.... and STAY in ..... such a situation as you describe?????
This guy doesn't give a damn about you. His MOTHER re-inforces his behaviour (which, incidentally, indicates just how much of a CHILD ... (read in full...)
Should I follow my instincts and just walk away before it's too late, or tell my G/f up front that her lack of interest/effort is becoming a cause for concern?
Q. Hello all. Just wondering what people's thoughts were on this situation: My g/f and I have been together for just over a year. We live about 25miles apart, and we usually see each other once or twice a week and every other weekend. The...
A. 25 November 2014: Why not "cover both your bases".... and tell her that you are planning to walk away unless she tells you that you are overlooking something??????
Good luck....... (read in full...)
We're back together but "not labeled"
Q. Hey all so me and my ex or whatever you wanna call him broke up 5 months ago. And we decided that we wanted to work things out so he moved back in with me and here it is 5 months later and he still lives with me we do everything we did when we was ...
A. 25 November 2014: Your submittal "sounds" to me like your describing yourself as totally dependent upon him..... so YOU give yourself no choice EXCPET to acquiesce to whatever he wants.
THAT sounds to me like he OWNS you.... and you have no say in any matters ... (read in full...)
How do I help my sister with our overprotective mother?
Q. Hi there, please advise? My mother is very overprotective of my sister, who is 18. Really, she has not allowed the girl to learn to do tasks on her own (such as grocery shopping, checking the mail, hanging out with friends, simple cooking, etc.) a...
A. 23 November 2014: Your Mother's scheme is destined to make your Sister a social misfit through never learning how to deal with life.
Encourage your Sister to make - and keep - distance from your Mother... and remind your Mother that, unless she lets her daughter... (read in full...)
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