A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidIm with my current bf for past 4 years. Its been 6 months since we actually had a good talk, went on a romantic date.... I just come home from work, cook dinner and wait for him, he hangs around with his friends after work, come home late, eat dinner or not and go to sleep. For days he wouldn't talk to me unless i ask him something. If i ask him to do some chores on weekends, he gets so angry, he stops talking to me for weeks together. One time my car broke on the way and i called my mechanic and as i didnt have money at that time, called my bf. He dient pick up the call, never called me back as well. One of the friend helped me at that time, when i asked him about it, he said he was busy when i called him. He didnt want to waste his minutes by calling me as im not worth it. I cried for a week.We are not having sex for a long time, i dont even remember when was the last time we had sex. He says i dont make him excited anymore, he is bored with meI feel like a idiot for still loving him. Why cant i just hate his sorry ass. I want to hate him, so i can leave him. Please help me
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 August 2014):
 Any guy who is worried about wasting MINUTES talking to his actual girlfriend is cheating on her. Every sign you're talking about points to this. A guy not to talk for weeks about you asking him to help out around the house is not simply an overreaction, but an excuse he can give for you to buy the fact that he's out talking to a mistress, because no guy but a mentally disturbed one would even have the energy to react like that.
You don't have to hate HIM enough to leave him. You just have to love YOURSELF enough to drop this dead weight from your life.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 August 2014):
 Hate is a reallbad emotion o want to have. You can split up without either one of you hating the other one. Just do it! Hate uses up way more life than ambivilance. Don't hate it'll backfire on you and it'll eat upyou gut. Just follow your instincts,they'll kee you alive and well. PS, not havinsex in a log-long time s normal. Just wait unti you get married, you can go years without sex and no one will even notice.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (17 August 2014):
Dear OP,
There's no need to hate him. It's enough to love yourself and assure yourself that you are a strong woman. You are stuck with an "idiot" because you don't love yourself enough to ask life for something better, or because you feel too weak to walk away.
If you can get self-love and courage on your side, you will see that you don't need rage and hatred and drama.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 August 2014):
 You can leave him also without hating him !
In fact, maybe it's better. Hate is a heavy,uncomfortable baggage to carry around , the least you feel it, the lighter you travel, so if you have to hate someone, do not waste such a powerful, distructive emotion on a dickhead ike your bf , and in a situation in which you are NOT stuck.
You can choose whether to stay and watch how good he is at humiliating you and abusing you emotionally while you cook and clean for him... or you can go . If you choose to stay , your problem is not that you don't hate him, your problem is that maybe deep down you hate YOURSELF . Because if you loved yourself, even just a little, you would not have so much trouble doing what clearly NEEDS to be done.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 August 2014):
 You write: "I feel like a idiot for still loving him. Why cant i just hate his sorry ass. I want to hate him, so i can leave him. Please help me..."
1. Yes, you are being idiotic by staying with this guy,.... since he seems to care not a whit about you,
2. Don't bother spending any time or mental energy hating him..... The opposite of "love" is NOT "hate"..... it's INDIFFERENCE.....
Learn how to be INDIFFERENT to him... AS YOU ARE PARTING WAYS FROM HIM..... Then, get on with your life...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, countryaly76 +, writes (17 August 2014):
You don't need to hate him to leave him, you just have to love yourself enough to not put up with being treated like that. He has told you that you don't excite him and that he's bored. Why stay with someone who doesn't want you?
It might be hard, but it's already over between you. your just prolonging the agony because you dont want to face it. Best wishes in whatever you decide to do. But, I say move on.
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