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No kisses from my boyfriend! He just starts sex. What should I do?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 August 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 August 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, *mma1987 writes:

I have a problem with my boyfriend, he doesn't like to kiss me down never. I do for him everything but he doesn't. When we start kissing or hugging he just start the sex. He doesn't kiss my body. I feel I'm sad each time after sex. I don't know why he does that and what should I do. Thanks

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (16 August 2014):

If you have spoken to him about this and told him how important it is you and how you feel about it and he doesn't want to do anything about it - then I think you're sexually incompatible.

It's time to consider whether a relationship with a fulfilling sex life is more important to you than the relationship with this guy. I doubt he will change

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (16 August 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYour entire "question" and "answer" are found in these two phrases:

1. "...(he said) I don't think it's important." and,

2. "...I feel I'm sad each time after sex."

If he doesn't think that YOU are entitled to expect kindness, warmth and consideration within your's and his intimacies.... then he is a lout, and is not worthy of you. And, if you feel sad, after sex, every time... then your head is "telling you" that you are not really having "good sex", at all....

I suggest you part ways with this Neanderthal, and bide your time and attentions until/unless you find a real gentleman for a boyfriend/partner/date..... There are plenty (gentlemen) "out there".... and you WILL find one!

Good luck...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2014):

I've talked to him many times and he just says I don't think it's important. Also he gets mad and we have a big fighting each time i talked to him about this problem. 

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (16 August 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt Well, did you ASK him why ? And what did he say ?

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (16 August 2014):

like I see it agony auntThe wording of your question has me a bit confused... are you saying he doesn't kiss you at all, or that he doesn't go down on you? Because these are two very different acts and you will definitely find some guys who are not into the latter, just like some girls can't stand giving oral sex.

Either way, the obvious next step here is to talk to your partner (if you are comfortable enough to have sex with him, you should feel comfortable stating your preferences and concerns) and mention that you would appreciate more (______) in the bedroom. If he genuinely cares about you he will hear you out and either work on the problem or explain to you honestly why he doesn't like it/hasn't been doing it. If he doesn't care about your pleasure and satisfaction as well as his own you may wish to reconsider the relationship - of all the feelings to be having after sex, "sadness" on a regular basis shouldn't really be one of them.

Best wishes.

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