A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,For some reason, I'm constantly being used by guys. It all started when my boyfriend had slept with me then cheated on me with another girl. Ever since then, I've had no self confidence and doubt myself a lot. I thought it was time for me to get a grip and to get into another relationship. Now, this guy and me have dated for three months now.It's a long distance relationship and every time we visit each other, we always sleep together. that's all it ever is. He always talks about the future but never acts on it and it just feels like we're in a casual relationship. I hate myself for letting me be used in the ways I have been. I'm not sure whether I should move on and tell him I'm done with what ever this is or stay with him and maybe get hurt again in the future. For all I know, I'm just doubting myself that I'm not good enough for him.
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cheated on me, confidence, long distance, move on Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advise guys. Yeah I don't just jump into bed with anyone like I'm being put across as doing. I've only slept with the people mentioned. Also, the guy im dating is in his 20's not a teenager like me. I agree with honey pie that it isn't realistic and I tell myself that everyday yet I still go on being the fool. Thanks anyways :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate everything you guys are saying but he isn't a teenager the guy I'm dating. He's in his 20's. I'm not one of those girls who jumps into bed with anyone but I agree that I do it because I think that's the only way he will stay with me. But yeah thanks for the advise :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 August 2014):
 CMMP is right.
The first BF was an idiot. He cheated on you because he is a selfish asshole. HE didn't cheat on YOU because there is "something" wrong with you.
The second guy you're dating is a LDR. So when you two met up ALL he wants is sex. Well... he might think you want the same since you willingly jump into bed with him. The guy here, LIKES the fantasy of you two having a future (and you are lapping it up because he is saying "all" the things you want to hear). Realistically, you two aren't going to last. The whole POINT of LDR's are to make it a NOT LDR - as in living closer together/or with each other. An at your age? Not realistic at all.
My advice, if you FEEL used every time you have slept with him, then STOP. If you aren't sure you WANT to be with him, then END it. TAKE some control of your life.
DO NOT have sex with a guy in hopes that the SEX will make him love you and want to BE with you. TAKE the time to get to know a guy (without the sex) - spend 3-6 months DATING him before sex. Wait til YOU feel you WANT to have sex with him, not because you hope it will make him love you, but because YOU want to be intimate with him.
Figure out what you want, and GO for that.
I think MANY young girls are having sex because they think it will help them find love.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 August 2014):
 I think you're seeing that there is a "lesson" here.... that teenage boys are "all about" their penises, and getting girls to remove their clothes.....
YOU will be wise to absorb that lesson, and NOT be that girl who DOES remove her clothes.... SINCE a girl without clothes is almost certainly the one who guys will take advantage of......
Your self-worth is 'way greater than you currently understand..... and the RESPECT of young men who want your attention should not be offered at discount prices!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 August 2014):
Well what do you expect from a teenage LDR? Instead of feeling used, learn a lesson about reality. He likes you, I see no reason to doubt that. But how is he realistically going to move to where you are at his age?
Btw, the first guy cheated on you because he was a selfish asshole, it had nothing to do with you. NOTHING.
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A
male
reader, macloverdoc  +, writes (24 August 2014):
 Hi dear cupid user
I don't think anything about you caused him to cheat on you. My sisters was cheated on her last week.I don't think she or you deserved it. just it is his shame not to be thoughtful decent caring.... try to be more selective watch attitudes family and relationships with his normal friends. Guy with good motives,politeness will send you clues. Pick up the clues and find a path leading to guy with happiness :D Thats what I am telling my sis so far.
And I heard some girls have non sexual relation ships which can purify the love maybe? I don't know. Protect yourself from bad dudes. Act smartly and choose the smart one smartly :d
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