A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a woman friend who is married. I see her every week for dinner with a group of friends. We hit it off quite well having a lot of common interests. Lately she's been telling me how unhappy she is with her husband, that her marriage is basically over. She's a kind and warm person everyone likes. I don't make comments when she complains of her home life. I try to keep a respectful distance from her marriage problems. She recently started sex talk with me. She asked me some personal sexual questions like do you enjoy giving a woman oral sex, what is your favorite sexual position, do you enjoy drinking and having sex, I turned red, I was reluctant to answer them, but she did get my answers. I'm not prudish by any means I just want to keep it respectful because no matter how bad she says her marriage is, she is in fact still married and living with him. I never ask her personal questions like that. I am attracted to her but I keep a lid on my feelings for her. Men in general like her a lot, she's not an attractive woman but she get's a lot of attention from men from her inner beauty. I am not sure if these sexual questions are her trying to lead me into some kind of affair with her. I am wondering if this sex talk from her is leading her to try and have a sexual relationship with me. I don't find it very common for women to discuss sexual needs and desires with a male friend. Do you think this sex talk is her trying to lead me into an affair?
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female
reader, lossing +, writes (2 September 2014):
Please be very careful. If she's married she shouldn't be talking to you about her bad marriage. I have had some serious issues this summer but I love the ground my husband walks on if I want to save my marriage I wouldn't be talking to another man about how bad he is. I have had to seek advice, I went to see a counseller. I talked with not one but two pastors I wouldn't even meet with a minister by himself. You just don't do that. Run.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (28 August 2014):
 Oral sex, favorite sexual position...whoa! She's really putting it all out there isn't she?! She claims to be unhappy in her marriage so she's definitely looking at having an affair and having her needs met outside the marriage. All I can tell you is, don't get into anything unless she's divorced. She might not have any boundaries but you mustn't forget yours.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 August 2014):
 I think she is starved for attention, specially if they (her and her husband) are thinking/talking divorce.
Asking you personal and sexual questions might just be for "fantasy-fodder". And I DO think she wants to be a little "naughty" (not necessarily cheat), so she "talks" sex with another man then her husband.
When I was in my 20's I actually talked sex questions with my male-friend over the female friends. Because you could get an answer from the male perspective, rather than "guesses" from a female. Now? Well, I don't really have a lot of sexual questions, but I don't think I would ask any of my male friends about them. IF I was single and DATING a guy, I might ask a few.
What I would advice is to set some boundaries with her. If you feel it's OVERSTEPPING boundaries to talk sex with a married woman, then DON'T do it. You don't OWE her a full disclosure. If she later hints more "firmly" be straight with her, and tell her you don't mess with married women. NIP it in the bud.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 August 2014):
 As far as I can see, whether or not she's trying to entice you in to an affair is of no importance. What IS important is whether or not YOU want to go for that affair.
IF you are an honorable man, who will not justify his dalliance under the umbrella of, "... telling me how unhappy she is with her husband, that her marriage is basically over..." then you politely deflect her advances.
IF you have no compunction about adding to her woes, then go for it (the affair)....
You don't note if YOU are married. Are you? (I'm assuming, no.)
Good luck....
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