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I can't believe my wife might may be harboring one of the strains of HPV virus just because she gave a few guys blowjobs before she met me!

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2012) 10 Answers - (Newest, 20 March 2012)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My wife is always getting cold sores in her mouth. We've always just used over the counter medicine to control/heal it. Finally, after dealing with this for a few years, I took her to see our doctor.

He did a checkup, checked out her cold sores, asked what kind of treatment she was using and stuff. Then he asked my wife if she wanted me to leave the room because he had to ask some difficult questions. She said no, he can stay. He asked a whole lot of questions about her sexual history, especially focusing on her performing oral sex on males. And did she make them use a condom when performing oral. I asked him what was this about, and he said my wife may be harboring one of the strains of HPV virus. Most of the time it just shows itself as cold sores, but if it is serious, it can manifest into something far worst like mouth and/or throat cancer. He said not to worry for now, but he wants her to get tested for HPV.

Has anyone ever heard of this happening? I can't believe my wife might have some serious condition just because she gave a few guys bj's before she met me. I'm hoping the doctor is just being overly cautious, but I'm still worried, and upset that my wife's sexual past might bring her (and me) harm.

I told the doctor that we avoid oral sex when she has an outbreak of cold sores, and that I have no signs of anything wrong on my penis. He said that is a good sign, but he still wants her to get tested. He also gave us some other treatments to try.

View related questions: condom, my penis, oral sex, sexual past

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012):

You seriously need to read up on HPV & cold sores!!

Cold sores are spread from infected silvia & is usually caught in childhood...so there you Mr =P

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (20 March 2012):

Danielepew agony auntOh, by the way, I understand the vaccine does not work on men, it doesn't work equally on all people, you have to get it before you get infected, and then there is no way for men to know whether we are infected or not. We have to assume we are.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (20 March 2012):

Danielepew agony auntThe confusion here may be that the girl may have herpes, but the doctor is checking her for HPV just in case.

Anyways, the advice needs to be the same. People get diseases and generally they don't spread them because they want to. Very likely she didn't know what she had.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (20 March 2012):

person12345 agony auntMore than half of all sexually active people have HPV. HPV does not have anything to do with cold sores. Cold sores are caused by a herpes virus that around 70% of people have, most pick it up as children, not from giving blow jobs.

HPV is highly unlikely to cause problems, but it can cause cancer in rare cases. If you do not already have it (you can be tested), you can get Gardasil. In most people HPV is asymptomatic and is taken care of by your immune system.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (20 March 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntThere's been a big rise in cases of oral cancer, and it is linked to being exposed to HPV during oral sex.

You need to educate yourself, here is some reading for you: http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/hpv-genital-warts/hpv-virus-information-about-human-papillomavirus

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/4-things-you-didnt-know-about-oral-sex

http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/hpv-genital-warts/news/20120125/oral-hpv-infection-more-common-in-men

http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/hpv-genital-warts/default.htm

You are getting out ahead of yourself. It is possible that HPV spreads during oral sex; this doesn't mean that her cold sores are HPV-related. You sound angry and judgmental right now; wouldn't it be better to have all the facts before freaking out?

Good luck with the diagnosis and treatment if needed.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntHPV is very common but it has nothing to do with cold sores, that is Herpes.

And yes, you should BOTH be tested - Herpes and HVP can be hidden/dormant. So get the testing done and figure out what it IS she does have instead of freaking out over what she may or may not have.

If you do NOT have HVP, there is now a vaccination for it, not sure if they vaccinate adults though.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012):

I'm not a doctor, but I do work at a very high level with a health insurance company, so I know a lot of medical stuff.

HPV is a 'usually dormant' virus. In fact of all the people who carry the virus, less than 1% will ever show symptoms from it. And if caught early, it is very treatable. HPV can affect the mouth/throat, but usually manifests itself as warts on the inside of the mouth, or in the back of the throat. Related to genital warts. There is currently an HPV test approved for use, but it used on cervical scrapings, I don't know of any HPV test for the mouth/throat.

I'm thinking the doctor mentioned HPV because of your wifes previous sexual activity, but unless she had an unusual Pap test, I can't see him ordering the HPV test.

Cold sores are a direct result of Herpes Simplex. That also is very common, even though most people don't ever exhibit signs of it. Sometimes many years later some symptoms can show up. The doctor is probably ordering a test for the Herpes virus. Check your paperwork from the doctor.

Both HPV and Herpes are very contagious, but may stay dormant in the body for years. You mentioned you wife had some previous sexual partners before you, but were you a virgin? You could be carrying the virus and not even know it and you gave it to your wife. Regardless of where she got it, keep in mind, it shows up many years later, so don't go thinking wrong thoughts about your wife. Good luck with the tests. I'm sure it's just a preventive measure. If treatment for the cold sores works, just make sure your wife gets her annual Pap test to keep an eye on that.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (20 March 2012):

Danielepew agony auntMaybe. Herpes is also very common and just change words. The advice is still the same.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI can see the doctor thinking it’s Herpes as they are the same strain as cold sores (and some are sexually transmitted and some are not). Shingles and Chicken pox fall into this realm too. I have never heard of HPV of the mouth only the cervix… and I test positive for HPV and have for years…. Never knew it… it’s one of those sad sexually transmitted illnesses that nearly 80% of women my age carry around (I believe that’s the correct number I could be wrong)

I have one sore that keeps coming up and my doctor was amazingly sure it was HERPES… he even cultured it during an outbreak… and began treating me for Herpes… when it came back NEGATIVE he was shocked… so it can happen that regular cold sores or outbreaks can LOOK like herpes or HPV and not be that way… but doctors do need to check on it.

Was this her GYN or your regular doc? I’m thinking that HPV and HERPES are being confused here….

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (20 March 2012):

Danielepew agony auntYour wife is not to blame. The HPV virus is VERY common. The sad truth is that, if you have had sex, then you need to consider yourself as a carrier of HPV. My understanding is that American health authorities believe that up to 80% of everyone has had, or has, HPV viruses. You can get them even without having sex with someone else. Her having HPV does not mean she did anything out of the ordinary. It does not mean she is slutty or whatever.

Most of the times, the HPV viruses are eliminated by the immune system and you don't even realize you had it. Now, that doesn't mean you didn't give it to someone else.

People who are sensitive to a strain of the virus may develop cancer. Most people don't.

By the way, men are often asymptomatic. So, while your wife may have had the virus before she met you, you may have been the unknowing carrier of another strain of the virus and you may have given it to her.

My personal opinion is that, unlike other venereal diseases, the fact that someone gave you HPV does not necessarily mean he or she knew what he or she was doing, and (as is the case with every other venereal disease) does not mean the person has low morals or whatever.

Don't blame your wife. This is a sad fact of life.

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