A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi- I'm interested in guys' opinion on this one. Do ou think it's normal for a guy who has a gf to still go to strip clubs on the weekend with his guy friends and to pay for lap dances? I could understand the bachelor party thing and for single guys to want to do that but a guy who has a gf? Is that something that a guy would still want to do even if he has a loving gf with no issues in the sex department?
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female
reader, HappyPlace  +, writes (29 March 2012):
 Absolutely spot on Kyle007, you are absolutely right, what woman in her right mind would choose a man of dubious character who likes going to strip clubs. I really feel very sorry for any woman in a relationship with a guy who likes to do this, but it's ultimately the woman's choice to stay with a guy like that. If you "swing" or go to strip clubs with your man, I believe your relationship is built on sand, and nothing more. The sort of man who goes slack jawed at a stripper is soooooooo not the guy for me!
A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (27 March 2012):
You know something, whether its normal or not, right or wrong, going to strip clubs is still a reflection on someone's character.
And all things being equal, I am sure the vast majority of women in their heart of hearts prefer men who don't go to strip clubs over ones that do.
And I believe its the very rare woman who would consider "going to strip clubs" a plus, notwithstanding the strippers themselves or anyone else who profits from this type of activity.
If the shoe fits, wear it!
I can just see a woman writing...
My ideal man:
Sensitive
Intelligent
Attractive
Successful
Goes to strip clubs.
'Nuff said.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 March 2012):
 but Kyle ya gotta try the shoes ON to see if they fit if you go shoe shopping..
here in my state they have to wear thongs or G-strings.
and yes I've been to the strip clubs...
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (23 March 2012):
I actually have been to a strip club, thank you very much anonymous male reader. And I said "engaging in a sexual activity " not having sex. Its not an educational activity or a sports activity is it?
And when I "window shop" for say, shoes or something like that, I don't grind the shoes on my crotch to see if I like them or not. But I guess the "shopping" aspect rings true, since these women are, in fact, selling themselves.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (21 March 2012):
Just as a point of order I would like to comment that as far as I have witnessed there is absolutely no physical touching but the girls are completely naked. Is it good or bad? After a few beers certainly ok! As I said earlier, all the girls I have known have done a lot worse after a few drinks so I dont feel so bad about it.
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A
female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (20 March 2012):
 If its something you would find unacceptable in your relationship, you need to talk to your partner about it. My hubby and i have agreed we wont be around strippers in any form. He's not comfortable with me seeing another guy naked so same goes for him. Which means no strip clubs for any reason, Unless we are both there. Thats the boundary of our relationship which is different to most but it works for us
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 March 2012):
 My take on this is, NO physical contact of body to body, whether he's sitting on his hands or not. It's cheating in my book. I don't go up to guys in bars and grind on them and I don't expect my guy to have a girl grind on him, especially one that's half naked.
We were just at a beach in the Caribbean and there are naked breasts out there, I don't mind him looking but there is no TOUCHING. That crosses the line for me.
And yes, he has been to strip clubs, on the occasional bachelor party. Looking's fine, touching is not.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 March 2012):
ya know I don't know of many men that get much more than horny from a lap dance... unless they are 16 yr old virgins...
a bit of grinding on the lap of an adult male who has to sit on his hands (you aren't allowed to touch them when they dance) by a woman with a g string on... has never caused any of the men I KNOW to orgasm.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 March 2012):
 If a woman is in a monogamous relationship with a man, that usually means he is not being sexual in any way with another woman. If another woman is using her body to physically bring that man to an orgasm, he has been sexual with another woman. If the thinking is that because she's paid it's somehow different, then that means visiting a prostitute is fine under the same thinking.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012): I think you already know this answer....if a man is in a committed relationship, he has abosultely no business going to a strip club. And getting a lap dance? That is physical sexually arousing contact with another women and that is NOT something any respectable man who loves their women would do. And I would be very concerned what else he is doing...
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A
female
reader, LovelyLemon +, writes (20 March 2012):
 I am not a man, but my boyfriend and I have talked about this before. He thinks that it would cheating, or at least close to it. Think about what it is really. Your man is paying for a naked woman to rub against him to bring him sexual gratification. I would call that cheating.
Some have said that it's not cheating because he's paying for it and it means nothing. Well then I suppose men having sex with prostitutes isn't cheating either, eh? They're fairly similar in my opinion. Not to mention that it's generally done without any care or concern for their partner.
Much love and Best wishes
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 March 2012):
Well I’m not a guy but I’m giving you my opinion anyway… I don’t think it has anything to do with sex or having a loving girlfriend and it’s not a deal breaker for me.
It’s not normal or abnormal it’s just what some men like to do. I’ve been to strip clubs with my now ex husband and I’ve talked to the strippers… and they prefer it when the men come in with women and the men like us to go so they get more attention… I see it all as fun and games…
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012): This is a case of definitely NOT cheating. If your man has been invited to a strip club as part of a bachelor party, he should go. I have a serious girlfriend and I would want to go. I also wouldn't feel guilty about it in any way, because I know I'd be coming home to to my girlfriend afterwards.
Kyle007 has probably never been to a strip club. What happens there is definitely not sex. It's window shopping, nothing more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012): Hell no! Totally unacceptable! I personally think the whole thing is disguesting and degrading for the stripper and the men that "need" to go there.
Justhelpingagain: All just excuses to "get off!" Isn't there anything else you can do to help the poor & abused people of the world?? Charity maybe?
ps. Stunning bodies... fake boobs you mean?? Man up guys and stop feeding into this nasty dirty low life business.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (20 March 2012):
Most men, me included, wouldn"t consider this cheating and get absolutely no guilt about it although I am totally sure my wife wouldn't approve. It is very much a guy thing usually fueled with alcohol - and lets face it, most women have done a lot worse after a few drinks.
The reality of private lap dances is usually a bit sad as it is so clear that the girl is just working and sometimes you are close enough to see the genital wart, bruises, anal injury, etc, and you end up feeling sad for the girl and for helping to perpetrate this business. Some girls clearly enjoy the exihibitionistic side of their work, and can dance very well and have stunning bodies, and I must admit they are a joy to watch.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 March 2012):
Some men do that, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable. Another woman is physically getting him off. Paid or not, I don't see how that can be seen as anything other than cheating. Either it's cheating or strippers aren't considered human.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (20 March 2012):
 I know you're asking for guy's opinions, but I'd like to say that I wouldn't have a problem if my man went to a strip club with his friends and had a little fun. I think it's completely normal.
It's not cheating when they have paid a girl to rub against their crotch for a song or two. It's not cheating because the girl isn't into your man, she's just doing it for the money. Your guy is very well aware of that. It's something to do with the guys. Just like when girls go out to male strip clubs, it's something fun and funny to do with their gal pals.
Just listen to the song "I'm still a guy" by Brad Paisley. He explains it very well, it's a guy thing.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (20 March 2012):
Common? Maybe. Normal? Maybe. Aceeptable? Absolutely not!
He is engaging in a sexual activity with another woman. Hellooo.
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