A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks. We've seen each other most days... been on dates, I've been to his, met his parents.He goes out of his way to see me, treats me respectfully. We were in his bedroom, things were getting heated. He said If he touched somewhere I didn't like then to say no. I just worked on pleasing him by giving him a hand-job. I told him that I'm a virgin and he said he'll wait however long.When we were out clubbing me and my best friend (who are really close) danced and spoke a lot. He walked past giving my friend bad looks. I'm going away with my friend for a music festival soon and the guy I'm seeing is trying to get tickets. He gave me a love-bite. What is the reason for this? He said he has never felt like this so early and is falling for me and has actually asked to make it official. Is this too soon? We both have agreed to feeling like we feel like we have known each-other longer.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (2 August 2012):
There are certainly red flags here. It sounds like he’s jealous of your friend, he’s making it clear that he doesn’t like your attention being elsewhere. That’s why he gave your friend dirty looks, made a point of giving you a love bite (which by the way really aren’t very pleasant things and should be avoided), and is trying to tag along to this event that you’re going to together. This could indicate insecurity or possessiveness and may spell trouble ahead. Tell him that you want to take things slowly and don’t make it official until you feel ready. Also, tell him that you and your friend planned to go to the event together and have quality time as friends. He ought to understand: how he reacts to this will give you some indication of whether there’s a problem or not. If there is at this early stage, you might be better off walking away from this relationship.
I wish you all the very best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): Yeah that could be a sign of trouble OP. The love bite was probably him marking his territory, making it official so soon is a bit possessive and the dirty looks and insistence on going to the festival are slightly clingy and jealous.
Be cautious but have fun. You can talk to him but it's only been a couple of weeks, you don't need to talk to him to set a slower tempo just make sure not to get carried away. It's possible he'll settle down and relax a bit once he understands the pacing of this better but you have to set the tempo here. You have to make sure you take little breaks and don't smother each other, you have to make time for your friends and have a life outside of him too.
Give it another couple of weeks and see how things go. You're old enough to know what is and is not acceptable, he's not allowed to be jealous or even slightly attempt to control or invade your friendship with your best friend, he's not allowed to make little jokes about you meeting someone else when you have a night out with your girls, he's not allowed to throw a tantrum because you decided to go out with your girls for a night out and didn't invite him.
OP if he's acting like a love sick puppy then you have to treat him like one and you have to train in what is and is not acceptable in terms of reward and punishment. Do not let him cross any lines with you.
Other than that enjoy it, see what happens.
OP as Abella said he could just be a clueless nice guy lost in a bit of a romantic fantasy, but as a guy I can tell you clearly and truthfully if you think letting him slide into that romantic fantasy too far you'll have trouble. No need to be gentle and soften things up OP us guys are hilariously shit at taking hints, if he crosses a line say for example starts encroaching on your friendship and getting pissy for choosing to spend time with that friend then you have to come down hard on him and make it clear that's unacceptable.
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A
female
reader, supersofi  +, writes (2 August 2012):
 He is proving that you are his, the love bite is marking that you belong to him. However, love bites are very tacky looking and can carry the wrong message to other guys by making you look cheap. He sounds like he is insecure. It is very important that you hold on to your friendships and activities outside the relationship otherwise you will become lost into the way he wants it to be.
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Yes he has feelings for you. He wants to cherish you. He wants no one else to take away the precious time he spends with you.Yes he wants to spend time with you.And he does not want to miss an opportunity to let others know that you and he are an item.He has temporarily lost his mind and his reason as he likes you so much.Have a chat to him about the love bite. He does not need to do that, he can demonstrate his HUGE affection for you by other means.He does not want to be apart from you. Hence he is trying to get a ticket to the event.Sure he was worried about all the time he missed out on when you were with your friends.Sure he was a little jealous. But exlain that your friend is no threat to him.Quote the old rule: Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver, the other gold. If he can stick around long enough he will become your Gold friend too.But that you will not give up on long term platonic friends. They need to be respected too.Explain these things gently to him. The man is in love or at least has a jumbo size crush on you. A man in love can hardly think straight and that is what he is, just totally love-sick over you.And making it official? He is just so scared of losing you and he wants you to know how special you are to himOnce again be gentle with him. Tell him that you like him but you want to get to know him really well at a gentle loving slow pace, not as a bull at a gate. Be kind as you tell him. Remember this guy has a super crush on you. He is not himself. give him time. He thinks you have NO faults at this stage. Enjoy the love sick guy at his most love sick. It is so sweet.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Hi
Too much too soon. Yes he is being territorial, love bites are cheap and look tacky. He did it to show you were taken and probably to insinuate you had sex.
Take a step back, reduce the times you are seeing him. Go to the Festival and enjoy yourself, dont ever start changing plans to suit him.He either accepts you have a life,friends to see and slows down or he will lose you.
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