A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I previously wrote about a guy who gave me his number and I was wondering what I should do. Following your advice, I texted him last friday if he wanted to go out on sunday, he said he had something already planned but that he would like to meet up some other time. I told him to text me when he was free. He didn't answer until monday morning to ask if I would go out for drinks with him that night. I said yes and we agreed on a time and a place. I arrived VERY late at our meeting place but he said it was alright and that he was very happy that I agreed to see him. We talked at the bar for more then 4 hours. Later, we went to his place, where I stayed for the night. I had to leave kind of early so I didn't have the time to eat breakfast or anything but he still got up with me. But I didn't hear from him since.I have this feeling that he is not going to call (I don't know why, he didn't give me any reasons to believe that).Do you think I should contact him or should I wait for him to do a move?
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female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 He probably isn't calling you because you stayed over at his house. Unfortunately, many men don't respect women who allow them to be so intimate with them so quickly. You didn't say for sure if you actually had sex with him, but even if you didn't, you really need to allow your boundaries to fall slowly, with time.Guys will gladly sleep over with you, have sex with you and do other intimate activities with you, and lots will claim to still respect women afterward. Lots will claim that they still want to be in relationships with those women. But sadly, experience tells us that today men largely still suffer with a Madonna/Whore complex.I have absolutely no problem with you doing whatever you want sexually, you're and adult and capable of protecting yourself. However, going slowly in the progress of dating is still good advice until the men of the world grow past their old prejudices.I will note that I am in no way a misandrist and I fully realize there are plenty of men out there who are feminists who don't "slut shame" and embrace a woman who expresses her sexuality freely, regardless of how that's done. I am merely speaking the realities of how the majority of men still hold to cultural brainwashing of "good girls don't do that.".
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 hi
You turned up very late, you talked for 4 hours then went back to his and left early without having breakfast.
Comes across as a girl who isnt really into relationships just wanted some male company,doesnt make him feel special,just casual.
I dont think you will hear from him,you didnt create a good impression. Leave it at that.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 July 2012):
 I agree that he would have contacted you by now if he wanted to.
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A
female
reader, mannia +, writes (26 July 2012):
Usually when you meet anyone you should not expect the best results, from your story it seems like you have been single and really want someone to love and show affection to, below are some points l think you should use and cherish
first of all don't stress yourself too much
secondly - he seem not to be much of a gentleman as he took time to reply and gave you an excuse to not seeing you which you should give yourself credit
Third point - guys or boys who usually do this are genuin players, if he agreed to take you to his house for the night and not call you he is someone you should Definetly not think about
last point is you deserve better and can do better than him
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (26 July 2012):
 As I was reading your post, several things came to mind.
#1--If you were really interested in the guy, why did you arrive "VERY late" to your meeting? To me, this shows a lack of respect for your date and yourself. A first date is a place to make a great impression, not a lackluster one. This could be a real turn-off. In fact, I remember advising others to not accept another date from someone who was late.
#2--Why are you staying overnight with him on a first date? Even if you did not have sex with him, it shows you're standards are low. You hardly know the guy and are staying overnight with him. Not a good idea.
#3--If he hasn't contacted you, I would probably move on. If you spent the night at his place and he really liked you, he would be on the phone and/or breaking down your door.
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