| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I met someone from online and we have been out on about 5 dates..things were going at a good momentum and we were pretty much in contact each day whether through phone or text. He has a different type of job where his schedule varies. He has shown effort like for example if he was coming home from work where he is 15 minutes away he will say maybe I will stop by so we can grab a cup of coffee..each time wasn't anything definite b/c it depended on the time etc but he was putting it out there that he wants to see me as much as he could even for a little while especially since we aren't super close..about 40 minutes away. I have met family, some of his friends. I have stayed over there just to make things a little easier on gas money etc..we haven't had sex but it was nice to stay there with him and feel it created more of a connection with us. We are both in mid to late twenties The past two and a half weeks have been a real fluke. The first week he had to do some major studying for his job and take tests etc..it was very intense and I had no assumption we would even see each other that week. I would feel bad even if we had b/c i knew it was a very stressful time. When he got back he was actually offered to be a part of something for a few days (i don't really want to go into specifics) but it is a rare thing in my opinion to be a part of and it's part of his career and interest so of course he should do it. The thing is I feel this past week we haven't really been communicating..i'm not sure what was fully entailed the past few days but he wouldn't be able to respond to a text for hours..sometimes he wouldn't get back to me at all. We haven't really spoken on the phone. He said he is sharing a room with two other guys and also is exhausted He mentioned Tueday night through text how he is coming home Thursday and mentioned us maybe doing something this weekend. Yesterday he texted me a few pictures of what he was doing. I decided to bring it up and say why don't we do something in my area Friday and I can stay over your place Saturday. He did mention he would love to do that but goes back to work saturday. He had given me access to his schedule and I knew he was off so I said i thought you were off this weekend. He said he just checked and i'm right, he is off etc I decided not to confirm anything and not be too smothering. I just figured it would be nice since we haven't seen each other in awhile and he isn't off weekends that much. We texted back and forth a bit but he didn't respond to my last text and I sent it at 7:30pm last night making a joke and asking how everything was over there Just not sure if I should be mad or not or cut him some slack and see if things go back to "normal" in a sense. I have no clue what time he got home, was it rough, was it easy, if he decided to go out or something. My question is..do I agree to see him tomorrow IF he brings up? Or do i say I wasn't really sure if we were meeting or not (hinting i haven't heard back from him--not even a text for a day and a half). And just say i can't tonight. Apart of me wants to do that just based on principle. I don't want to reward bad behavior in my opinion and have him think it's ok to not contact me for almost 2 days and then I agree to hang out the following night. BUT I also think it's been over 2 weeks since we saw each other and it's important to spend time together again and hope to continue what we had going otherwise things can fade pretty quickly especially with the option of going back on the site. He hasn't been on it in over a week so atleast that is somewhat of a good sign. And then if happens the next time where I don't hear from him, I won't agree to see him last minute. What should I do? I am not ready to throw in the towel b/c he does seem like a decent guy. I am trying to go with the flow..but does that entail agreeing to see him tomorrow when he couldn't text me back last night and at all today? Granted I am not sure what today was like him for but still..a simple text would have been nice.
View related questions:
money, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (27 July 2012):
 First of all, guys do not get "hints", so whatever you want to say, you just need to say it. If he's been studying and taking exams, he probably IS exhausted. I agree that he should still at least call and tell you what is going on and then tell you he may not be calling for a few days. If he has mentioned he would like to do something on the weekend, I would not play games and would go. He may be completely well-intentioned but has just had too many things to deal with lately. You mentioned he also has a job. I remember when I was working everyday and then driving an hour to my university to take a two-hour class, then driving another hour back home. I was an emotional mess I was so exhausted. Give him a break, tell him you were upset that he did not call for two weeks, but tell him you would still love to go out with him.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 July 2012):
 What you have described is a guy who is in the throes of keeping one girl "on the hook" (you) whilest being careful not to commit himself so much so as to prevent him from keeping a watchful eye - and being available for - "something better" that might happen by....
You (and he) will be able to stay in this mode indefinitely until/unless: A. YOU call it off, or, B. He finds that "something else" that strikes his fancy more than you do, at the moment, and it causes him to finally "tip his hand"... Your call....
Good luck....
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 July 2012):
What you have described is a guy who is in the throes of keeping one girl "on the hook" (you) whilest being careful not to commit himself so much so as to prevent him from keeping a watchful eye - and being available for - "something better" that might happen by....
You (and he) will be able to stay in this mode indefinitely until/unless: A. YOU call it off, or, B. He finds that "something else" that strikes his fancy more than you do, at the moment, and it causes him to finally "tip his hand"... Your call....
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (27 July 2012):
 Hi
I would just say that you made other plans as not sure what he was doing, but another night would be great.
You have met family and friends,he's given you his schedule, sent photos while away. He has actually kept up good contact with you too.Clearly he's a busy man just now so I think its just got to be patience on your part. He shouldn't expect you to be available when he happens to be free though,you have a life too.
Its very early days yet so neither of you needs to be too committed, you haven't had sex either so until your sure of him,thats good.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2012): I really think you should calm down,2 days no text and already your freaking out. Let him contact you and don't over react. Maybe he's just very very busy and can't text you. I been with my boyfriend over 6 years and I totally have to understand if he can't text me in a day or 2 if he's working. Some men have important jobs so they can't contact you 24/7 also having contact everyday can get a bit too much you know.
...............................
|
