A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I have liked this man for 18 months now it has just been sex but I really like him we haven't spoken for three months yesterday we bumped into one another and got talking he said he would come around to see me but he didn't turn up I miss him n would like us to sort things out and also try to be a proper couple what do you suggest I do please don't say ignore him because I can't thank you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (3 August 2012):
 Unfortunately being a proper couple means not being his knock off, and unless this one defies the odds, then knock offs and proper relationships are two totally different things to most guys and should not be misinterpreted.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (3 August 2012):
 Why cant you ignore him does he live in your house? If he doesnt then you CAN ignore him.As you didnt talk for 3 months then he is not interested in you except as a knock-off,sorry but thats how he sees you,he didnt even turn up as planned. You gave him free sex so thats your role.He might have a girlfriend now too.Kick yourself up the backside and start living in the real world. There is more than one man out there.One,somewhere who will make you very happy too, so forget this loser, your worth so much more. x
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (2 August 2012):
 What do you mean, you "can't" ignore him? He's been exceedingly good at ignoring you. Just imitate him.
I think what you mean is that you don't want to end things because you are hoping that something will change and you will be in a happy, healthy relationship with him. Basically, you are engaged in wishful thinking.
I'm sorry to point out the obvious, a guy who hasn't made a move to contact you for 3 months is a guy who isn't all that interested in you. I know, that's not what you want to hear. It will make you sad and upset.
You deserve better treatment than this. When you realize this, you will be on the road to finding a functional, mutually respectful and satisfying love life.
In the famous words of a famous man, "You can't always get what you want."
Who knows what opportunities may be out there for you to enjoy? You will never know until you let go of the notion that he is the only man for you. He's proven himself for the past 18 months to be anything but the man for you.
If you want to have a proper relationship with him, take the bull by the horns, ring him and ask him out on a proper date, one where there will be no sex at the end. If he turns you down, you will know exactly where you stand.
I expect part of the issue is that he's involved with another woman, isn't it? Do you think you can manage to do some really practical thinking and look at this with clear eyes?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 August 2012):
 If it's been "just sex" in the past... then you can be sure that when "...he said he would come around to see me .." that he is/was looking for some more (s*x).... and if you are accomodating enough (read: "desperate enough") to be his tart, yet again, then he'll be there to take advantage of you.....
I wouldn't wait in the rain for this guy to agree to be a "proper couple" with you. HE's getting what HE wants... and really doesn't give a darn if YOU are getting ANY of what YOU want!!!!
I won't say ignore him.... as you have requested...
Good luck....
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