A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a partner aged 55 and stay at his at weekends, my problem is babysitting his grandaughter. She is 4 years old and i do think she is lovely. My concern is i do not think a young child should share the same bed as her grand parents, i did myself let my children stay in my bed occassionally but a grandfather is a step away from parent. We have only babysat once before, she slept in the bed with us, he slept at the foot of the bed, when i awoke he was at the top end, cuddling her , he with just with pants on and she with no pants on, he wont wear or own pyjamas and the little girl point blank refused to me to have her pants on in bed, even when we visit her home, half the time she has no pants on and does have a teenage brother, i am uncomfortable with it, i darent comment as i feel that his daughter would get shirty with me, not the sweetest of people. I dont mind the little girl sleeping alone with me and suggest grandad sleeps on the sofa but dont know how to, it is a small one bed flat. He is to babysit in three weeks time and i wasnt to stay over that evening but i have now made it my business to be there, not my grand child i know but gut feeling is telling me to do this. Am i just bad minded? i know he adores his little grand child but as i said gut feeling! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (24 July 2012):
 Hi
I dont see anything wrong with the situation, he has a one bedroom flat so either he or the grandaughter would have to sleep on the couch so its the obvious solution for them to share a bed.
The reason you find it creepy is you dont have the family bond with her,or him. You are the outsider so to speak.
If I was you I would not stay when the grandchild is there,which is better than squeezing three of you in one bed.Its the best solution, you can join them for the day or an outing later if you wanted to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Jonas for your adult reply, its my instincts i AM going on, i could have said a lot more about my gut feeling but kept the question and info as basic as possible, once again thank you x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): I think your thought process is way off on this one. He is her grandfather, and by the sounds of it this girl does not wear pants at home, so it is what is normal for her. Her grandfather is not naked, and an innocent cuddle does not mean that anything inappropriate is going on. I was molestered as a child, and never once did my abuser ever show affection for me in front of anyone else. They hide it to the extreme.
What I actually find disturbing is that you think it is ok for this little girl to share a bed alone with you when you are not related to her in any way, you are just her grandfather's girlfriend, I would not let you anywhere near my children, because it is creepy and I wouldn't trust you at all.
I suggest that unless you have real cause to be concerned, and if he is cuddling her in front of you when in bed, it does not sound like he is hiding anything to me, or that he would do anything innappropriate at all. The only thing innappropriate that I can see is having his girlfriend in the same bed with his grandchild. I sure as heck wouldn't be allowing my children to stay there if I knew that he let his girlfriend sleep in the bed too. I am sorry but your the one in this who seems creepy and gives me cause for concern in this. I suggest you do not share a bed with this little girl at all, and whilst it is extremely good that you on alert for inappropriate actions like this, you also have to be aware of how YOUR actions are going to be perceived, and in this case, you sound like the danger. Your not related to her, so do not share a bed with her at all, and definitely do not even consider suggesting she share the bed with you alone. I will tell you one thing from someone who has been sexually abused, knows quite a few people who have been and who works helping those who have been. Men are NOT the only one's who can be innapproriate with children, women ARE too, and you could be seen as the one who is innappropriate.
I do hope that you will heed this advice and do not make the suggestion that she share the bed with you alone, because honestly you are the one who is being innappropriate and acting extremely creepy. This is not going to bode well for you, your going to look bad and untrustworthy.
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