A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Yesterday, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years brought up the subject of watching porn together and said it was something he would like to try. Personally, I have never watched porn before as I have always thought of it as being degrading. I have no problem with him watching it alone, but I am concerned that if I watch it with him, I would feel uncomfortable and inferior to the female porn actress. I've always been self-conscious of my A cup breasts but have never let my insecurity get in the way of our intimate relationship before. I'm worried that witnessing my partner getting turned on by someone much better looking than myself will damage my self esteem. Does anyone have any advice that may help me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2011): I've watched porn with my boyfriend several times and have no problem with it. I would rather he watched it with me. Once I caught him watching it alone while I was in his house and that bothered me a lot, but watching it with him is quite a turn-on. I don't compare myself to the girls in the movies and I don't think he does either. I have small breasts and could be more toned, while they often have big (fake!) breasts and great figures, but I really don't think that's what he's looking at. He's getting turned on by watching people have sex and the thought that very soon we will be doing the same thing. Give it a try.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2011): I hate porn. period.
But, at least he wants to watch WITH you instead of sneaking around.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (18 September 2011):
 At the end of the day, porn does not even compare to a girlfriend, it simply sounds like something new to try to spice things up.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (18 September 2011):
Hi personally I wouldn't watch it with him if it makes you feel insecure you do not have to do something in which you are not comfortable with tell your boyfriend this I'm sure he will understand
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 September 2011):
 The point of watching porn is to get turned on visually, not necessarily by a good looking person, but the whole action, the idea of sex. If you find that you are not turned on by it, or by an actor and/or actress, then you don't need to watch it at all, with or without a partner. There is this myth that porn is better than real life. This is not true. My sex with my boyfriend is much better. I do scream sometimes. A lot of porn actresses have had A cups before. Now they are different. The artificial stuff they put on themselves are triggers of attraction. Real attraction and intimacy goes deeper.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (18 September 2011):
I would say this: specify to him what kind you are and aren't willing to look at.
If you think you'll feel insecure at skinny, huge breasted professional porn stars for example, then ask him to find some more amateur porn, taken by people around your own age. These kind of people are regular couples.
Personally I don't think it will affect your self-esteem, as long as you remember that men see porn differently to you. If they see a woman with huge boobs, yes it will turn him on, but it's not like he will compare it to real-life and your own boob size. It is just something that will exist for the time he is watching it, when you switch it off, he'll have forgotten about her. Big is not better, and I am sure he loves you just the way you are.
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A
female
reader, biamericana93  +, writes (18 September 2011):
 it wont be how you expect it to be i thought the same thing when my boyfriend wanted to watch porn with me and i told him how i felt and he told me that he isnt turned on by the girl he was turned on by the fact that i was watching it with him. i felt so much better after he told me that. im not saying that your boyfriend will say the same thing but just tell him how you feel about the situation and talk about it
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