A
female
age
30-35,
*113yx8
writes:So a couple months ago I met this guy at the gym and we see eachother there a lot and just say hi and eventually he added me on facebook. About 3 weeks ago, we had a conversation and exchanged numbers. Since then we've talked almost everynight on the phone and we get along very well. Heres the only issue, I'm 17 and he's 24. Normally I wouldn't see a guy over 20 and also he's not like one of those creepy pervs because the age difference really concerns him too as he brings it up ALL the time. I will be 18 in a couple months and its not like me and him are having sex or plan to anytime soon. We even went out on a few dats before kissing. Like I said, we're both not for the age difference yet I feel that this is different considering how we seem to connect so well. I would really like some opinions on this? What's too much of an age difference?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 I'm of two minds here. On one hand, you are - nearly - legally adult. And a 7 years age difference is not that big at all .
On the other hand, it's not that big if you were 30 and he 37, but now, it's huge. It's like two different words, and if I were your mom I could not help being a little bit concerned. I'd wonder what a 24 y.o. guy sees in, or has in common with , a girl your age, other than lust and the thrill to play Pigmalion to someone with less sexual and general life experience.
My son won't date school kids because he feels too psychologically distant from them... and he's only 21 !
I guess it varies with each individual. Take your time, get to know him better, and to understand, basically,... what he wants from you.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (12 September 2011):
 I am 26 and I would never date teenagers as we don't have anything in common. Just wait until you turn 24. Not only will you realize how much your opinions and your responsibilities will chanGe, but when you're that old, I can guarantee that you wouldn't even think of dating a 17 year old guy. Heck, you probably wouldn't even want to date a 21 year old guy.
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A
female
reader, Lolly_Poll  +, writes (12 September 2011):
I'm 17 just like you. 18 in a few months. My partner is 29, 30 in a few months. People despise our relationship, have called him all sorts, a paedophile, and such. But that is as far as problems regarding the age difference go-other peoples' sheer small mindedness. Me and him love each other. It is right, and I don't care what anyone thinks. When we're together, the age doesn't even come into it, I literally never think about it, because it's just a number. When you love someone, what difference does anything make? If you're happy, and he's happy. Go for it :)
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (11 September 2011):
 Age doesn't matter at all in a relationship unless one of the parties isn't of legal age.
as so_very_confused said, friends until you're legal - Then it's up to you where you go from there!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 September 2011):
 17 almost 18? and he's 24... so it's a mere 6 years? which at your age seems huge... as you age it gets smaller and smaller...
my boyfriend is 13 years younger than I am...
stay friends...at least till you are 18 when it's legal to be more....
and have fun.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 September 2011):
 15 minutes is too much of an age difference if two people don't have the necessary "chemistry" to get and keep them together .... Incidentally, 1000 years ISN'T too much of an age difference for two people who have good chemistry and are going to make a hot couple.
Surely you can find yourself and this nice guy somewhere within those extremes!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (11 September 2011):
 The age difference is trivial and irrelevant. What matters is if you connect on various levels.
The answer is simple - go with your heart.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 September 2011):
 Having common ground is more important. You have to have things you enjoy doing together that make you happy. Personally I don't think it's a big issue. Even the most diverse couples find fun watching movies, going out for a walk, or eating good food. He brings it up all the time because he is the mature one here if anything goes wrong he feels responsible for it. Conflicts will come but just enjoy your time together and when problems arise handle each one with care. Being young doesn't mean you can't talk sensibly and resolve issues. The thing that he might worry is that you are still young and want to play the field. So it's about what you want, not about what society tells you what a 17 year old wants.
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