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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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The guy with the reputation treats me differently to everybody else, my friends don't trust him.
Q. I have a crush on this guy. He's known for being a playboy, so i'm not sure it he has feelings for me or if he's just flirting by accident. However, he's even acting different towards me than he was acting towards the other girls he's hit on. He's ...
A. 5 March 2018: Correction:
'To get what you want' should read 'to get what they want'... (read in full...)
The guy with the reputation treats me differently to everybody else, my friends don't trust him.
Q. I have a crush on this guy. He's known for being a playboy, so i'm not sure it he has feelings for me or if he's just flirting by accident. However, he's even acting different towards me than he was acting towards the other girls he's hit on. He's ...
A. 5 March 2018: Because he isn't trying to get into your friends underwear.
When people have that kind of reputation it's there for a reason. They know how to treat girls to get what you want and he will of done what he's doing to you to many other girls in... (read in full...)
I haven’t heard from him in 3 days!
Q. Hi guys thanks for reading. I need help please and advise on what to do. I’ve been talkin to a guy I met on a dating site. We have meet up a few times, talk on the phone and text. But I havnt heard from him in 3 days. I only sent 1 text saying ‘...
A. 5 March 2018: Way too much drama.
He's seen the message but decided not to reply. It's impossible to go on whatsapp and not notice you've received a message as the (1) notification won't go away until you've clicked to read it.
Whys he on a dating website i... (read in full...)
What if I’m not his first?
Q. I've recently fallen in love with one of my guy friends who has been in love with me for 8 years but I never felt the same until now. I don't know for sure if he's a virgin or not, he's very good at somethings but feels a little "shy" in others. ...
A. 5 March 2018: What are you even asking here?
If there's a way to go back in time for him to erase his sexual history so that YOU, the Queen of the universe can be his one and only sexual encounter?
Get over yourself. Everyone has a sexual past it doesn't ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure what to think about this Tarot reading.
Q. Do you believe in tarot/card reading? Do anyone here has experience in that? Yesterday i went to a famous tarot card reader with my friend. She is 86 years old and been reading for 55 years. She asked me about our name, address, and birth date. ...
A. 2 March 2018: Absolute rubbish.
They give out general situations that could be happening in anyone's life. They're either right or wrong and if they get lucky with something they get the paying customer to give then all the answers they need to get more 're... (read in full...)
I friend zoned him, he is trying to be more, which annoys me!
Q. I have known this guy for 4 months, everything was good and we had a very good connection. After a while, he started falling for me, he confessed his feeling to me and he wanted a relationship. He was so desperate for my love which turned me off a ...
A. 1 March 2018: Take your own advice.
Block him and move on. You absolutely CANNOT be friends when one of the participants has romantic feelings. Stop keeping him around because he's nice and you like your ego being stroked.
Back off and stick to it. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend still trying to get back with his ex but he can't love her! He gave me the ring
Q. what should I do? So for the past few weeks I’ve been on here trying to get advice. Trying to figure out if I’m a rebound or not. A week ago he was still hitting up his ex trying to give her oral sex, as well as physical sex. She turned him down ...
A. 28 February 2018: What does that mean? He cheated with you so he MUST want to be with you right??
No, it just means he wanted sex outside of his relationship and you were a willing participant. It means absolutely nothing and YOU mean nothing to him. If you did ... (read in full...)
I've accepted his past so why can't he move past mine?
Q. Hi I'm 18 and my boyfriend of nearly two months is 19. When we first met (a couple of months before we started dating) we spoke about our body counts. I've been with a few guys and he's been with a few girls, nothing major or too far, just as you'd ...
A. 26 February 2018: There's nothing you can do here, this is on HIM.
I don't think he will ever get over this to be honest, you either suffer from retroactive jealousy or you don't there's not really an inbetween. He will more than likely need therapy of some sor... (read in full...)
We've had 4 dates in 5 years
Q. Hiya I’ve been with my partner for 5 years now we have had problems throughout the relationship due to him we hardly spend any time together. we’ve been for 2 meals and to the pictures twice in 5 years. it’s like he doesn’t want to be seen with me....
A. 23 February 2018: Okay so why are you still together?
Do you think things will magically change one day? You're clearly not happy and you've wasted 5 years with this guy. Why waste anymore time? We only have one life.... (read in full...)
A relationship with an attached man is making me feel so sad?
Q. I've been seeing a man who lives with his baby mama for a year and I've fallen head over heals in love with him.He told me that he was in the process of leaving her and they are not really together but idk..He still live her a year later with no ...
A. 21 February 2018: Let's be honest, what you you ending here? He uses you for a fuck in his dinner break, you have nothing to 'end'.
Block the guy and move on with your life.... (read in full...)
Are all university boys so immature? Do I need an older, more mature man in my life?
Q. I have recently broken up with my university boyfriend after a year of dating. His hobbies included smoking weed and playing video games, and he didn't go to his lectures or ever have any money. He generally was a caring person who I had lots of ...
A. 21 February 2018: Many will be, many won't be.
Without getting to know someone you will never know their maturity level. Also, age does not equal maturity. I think all the aunts and uncles on this site can agree that they've seen many posts from 40+ year olds tha... (read in full...)
Should I message him and find out what’s wrong?
Q. So this is probably like the most unimportant question of all time but I seriously don’t know what to do. So basically I had been talking to this guy for a few weeks and it was going really well, we had a lot of cute banter and flirting and a really ...
A. 21 February 2018: I'd have to agree that I think this guy probably isn't your best bet going forward.
If he's doing this after a few weeks it really doesn't bode well for the future. What kind of person that likes someone else doesn't reply for 3 days? Not the ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to fall in love?
Q. I met a guy we're both in our 30s. He gave me his number once, i never called him and then a couple weeks later he approached me agian, we exchanged numbers and talked/texted all day. I think he's cool! The next day he asked me out. I said i wanted ...
A. 20 February 2018: I'd steer well clear.
He doesn't even know you. I always think people that say they're in love after ridiculous amounts of time either are up to something bad or have little to no experience with the other sex.
You sound smart or else you woul... (read in full...)
Should I ask him where our relationship is going?
Q. Hi all! Over the years, i find myself returning to this place whenever I’m in the need of a little advice. Hopefully this could be the last time lol... Okay, so I started dating this guy about 4 weeks ago. Totally took me by surprise, becaus...
A. 19 February 2018: Woah, apply the breaks a little here.
It's been 4 weeks...28 days. That is NOT a long time. Definitely not long enough to know someone well enough to ask them into a relationship.
I think you need to relax. If he is serious about things the... (read in full...)
I got accepted to a different college and don’t know how to tell him!
Q. So.. my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years now and our senior year is going to come to an end soon. For the majority of our relationship, he had been living in a different city from me. We spent 3 years apart from each other and for ...
A. 19 February 2018: Well there isn't anyway that you can avoid telling him is there?
I really don't think attempting long distance relationships is good at any age, but even more so at an extremely young one like yours. It's just unnecessary stress.
I think this ... (read in full...)
I welcome opinions on if he is interested or not? Also why men play the three day game?
Q. I am a female in her mid fifties. I have done online dating on and off for about nine years. I have a good job, a home, friends, hobbies, have been told that I am attractive, work out, intelligent, funny and best of all, have a big heart. I started ...
A. 19 February 2018: I don't really think he's playing any games either. I think older people don't tend to spend as much time on their phone texting and what not.
If you would like to see him, then what's wrong with you asking him? Why does he alwsys have to initiate... (read in full...)
I want to be his girlfriend..not his FWB
Q. Am in a fwb situation..we are monogamous with each other..he tells me he loves me..I tell him that too.. But he says he does not want a girlfriend..he did take me out on valentines day..but next morning referred to me as his fuck buddy...I hate t...
A. 19 February 2018: If you were going to be his GF, you would be by now. Stop kidding yourself and accept that you're being used for sex.
You gave him sex with no commitment so why would he need to chase you and want more? You've already given him what he was afte... (read in full...)
A relationship with an attached man is making me feel so sad?
Q. I've been seeing a man who lives with his baby mama for a year and I've fallen head over heals in love with him.He told me that he was in the process of leaving her and they are not really together but idk..He still live her a year later with no ...
A. 18 February 2018: Really?
You think someone who lives with his maybe ex, doesn't take you on dates or want to spend time with you or acknowledge you in what you deserve from your love life?
Surely you'd rather stay single than that?
If you keep settling ... (read in full...)
Why did he block me?
Q. There was a person who messaged me on this app I'm using, he was the first person i spoke to on this app anyway i thought were friends (we talk a lot and joke around) anyway today i said hi to him then he goes like I'm not going to speak to you ...
A. 18 February 2018: Good riddance.
Quite clearly wanted nudes so I wouldn't put this one down as a loss.... (read in full...)
Too invested after a few dates?
Q. I’ve been on five dates with a guy. We slept together on three of the dates. We definitely fancied each other, but during date number four he said that his long term goal is to work away. I’ve been in a relationship in the past with someone who ...
A. 18 February 2018: Yes you did the right thing.
However, I can't see friends working as you'll always have a sexual history hanging over things and it will be too easy to fall back into sleeping with each other and getting in even deeper.
Personally, I... (read in full...)
She has a way of clawing herself back into my life! Insight needed!
Q. Hi all, I started dating this girl in December 15. I was 25 and she was 22 and was a TA in my class. We eventually grew in attraction and one evening, it progressed. Initially I was reluctant and said no as she was my colleague but she pursued ...
A. 18 February 2018: Okay so this one is pretty simple.
Stop contacting her and stop allowing her to contact you. Why would politely asking some one not to speak to you work? When you know they can easily manipulate you? I have been in a similar situation where I ... (read in full...)
I feel jealous and insecure around my 10 years younger girlfriend
Q. I'm dating my girlfriend for almost 3 months, she's ten years younger, very sweet and caring, but there is a few issues that I'd like to share. She's still in college, sometimes I get worried and jealous about other guys hitting on her! She u...
A. 17 February 2018: I can't see this working out personally.
You're already worried about things at such an early point and let's be honest you're both at different stages of life. You sound ready to settle down whilst she's still living her youth.
You need to t... (read in full...)
Is it ever okay to date a mates ex?
Q. Okay so there is this guy I work with (X) and I've always found him attractive but he dated one of the girls I work with (Y) that I'm mates with. I'm not best buds with her but we're pretty close. I've always seen him as off limits as he's her ex.. ...
A. 17 February 2018: You clearly already know that there will be A LOT of drama attached to this as you've been so apprehensive about jumping into bed with him.
The main thing here is you work with them both. You could get together with this guy and she may not even... (read in full...)
He talks marriage but I think he is just using me for sex.
Q. So I was with a guy when I was younger we didn’t date but we would make out etc teenager stuff right (No sex) it lasted like 4 years so I consider it a relationship he ghosted me and then 3 years later came to see me and we talked made out etc he ...
A. 16 February 2018: Id say you're bang on the money.
People in love don't ghost each other. If he was truly interested he would be doing everything possible to make it known through his ACTIONS not words.
The guy sounds like he hits you up when he's got no bett... (read in full...)
If he was keen on me wouldn’t he want to start a relationship? Even if long distance?
Q. I met a guy back in December in London. We matched online initially and then ended up meeting in person and became pretty much inseparable from the day we met. We spoke to each other every day and spend quite a lot of time together back end of ...
A. 15 February 2018: I think if anything he's being very sensible.
He already sounds stressed with everything that has happened recently so why add a relationship to that in which you can't see each other for an extended period of time?
Think with your head and no... (read in full...)
I treated her good but she ghosted me, I still want her back.
Q. Asking for advice,over a year ago, my ex girlfriend ghost me, no contact since, she didn't even say goodbye,I didn't do anything wrong, but treat her special,what I am asking is ,would it be stupid, in my part to try to contact her,I know every one ...
A. 15 February 2018: Are you a doormat?
You want her back because she rejected you. No one wants to feel rejected. What good would come from this? Do you think it would be different if there was a second time?
You need to get a grip man. There's billions of othe... (read in full...)
Do men catch feelings from having sex?
Q. Do men catch feelings from having sex? I ask because I was talking to my best friend the other day and she said that she and the guy she is seeing, wants t stop having sex with her because he doesn't want to get too attached. she didn't understan...
A. 15 February 2018: They can do, just the same as some women can.
Not everyone thinks and feels the same way do they? ... (read in full...)
Should I message him again? Is this a technical issue?
Q. Can someone please help me with a technical issue to do with text messaging? A man who is now an ex work colleague and who I am certain really likes me, but who knows I've recently had a very difficult time, let me know that he would like to se...
A. 15 February 2018: I'm with Honeypie.
What's wrong with just calling him?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is insecure. What do I need to do from here?
Q. I told my gf that we should catch up with an old friend of mine and she got jealous and upset. Ive known this friend for 15 years or so but havent seen them for 6-8 years, havent spoke to her for 3 years! Shes getting married and I tried to t...
A. 15 February 2018: I have to agree it sounds manipulative to turn on the tears to stop you being friends.
If she is a strictly platonic friend that you have no sexual history with then she's being incredibly over the top and she needs to get a grip. Whereas,... (read in full...)
We text and fight, then meet, make up then make out! Now he wants to be just friends?
Q. My boyfriend and I am in relationship from 4 months,we fight alot on texts.Almost every week we decide to break up.But when we meet, we just kiss amd make out ,there is no fight at all.Now again after fight he wants to be only friends.Will we be ...
A. 15 February 2018: This sounds pointless.
Doesn't sound like much of a relationship to me. I'd just forget abut this guy and move on with my life.... (read in full...)
Gay friend is sending mixed signals to me playing hot and cold
Q. So I have this friend. It's always been at the brink of evolving into a friendship but never really does because our personalities are different. This friend on the surface is very sweet and nice but when in club context he sometimes used to come on ...
A. 14 February 2018: Run a mile.
Absolute waste of time. It sounds like you already analyzed the situation well on your own. It sounds like he wants to be the centre of attention and he does it by exhibiting confusing behaviours.
I'm not sure why you're still ent... (read in full...)
Should I go out with her again? She didn't trust me the first time
Q. I have recently got back together with girlfriend after a couple of months apart. We were together for 5 months before we broke up just after Christmas. I broke up with her because I felt she didn't trust me but we spoke recently and she told me she ...
A. 14 February 2018: Why get back with someone that you broke up with when there are billions of other females that you could give a chance to?
Why are things different this time? How do you feel that she trusts you all of a sudden?... (read in full...)
Can a relationship that started out purely for sexual hookups actually amount to more.
Q. A year ago I started a purely sexual relationship with a friend of my ex bfs. We had both just gotten out of relationship so we were only looking for a hookup. It was suppose to be a one time thing but turned into regular hookups. They were amazing ...
A. 13 February 2018: If this guy doesn't want you to be his girlfriend I will eat my shoes. ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to think I am unlovable :-(
Q. I don’t know why it never works out for me. Every time I think it’s going to work out with a guy it ends up just being another dead end... My last actual relationship was a year ago with a guy I’m still in love with (and who apparently still ha...
A. 13 February 2018: I think most people will of gone through a phase like this in their life.
I don't think it will be anything you're doing in particular, you just need to understand and accept that you aren't going to match everyone's dating criteria. Think of... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sending other girls naked pictures.
Q. Hi I have caught my boyfriend messaging other girls even to the point he was sending naked pictures I tried to forgive him but IDK if I really can I always worry about who he talking to so how should I break it of I don't think I can keep going on ...
A. 13 February 2018: Of course you should, why on earth would you be considering staying?
Tell him its over on account of his poor behaviour then block/delete and move on.... (read in full...)
I don’t think I can deal with the amount of travel his job entails. Should I cancel our third date?
Q. SO I met a guy, lets call him CHAD. We went out on two dates. Really hit it off, loads in common, lots we like in each other plus great attraction. He works for some sales company and after our second date went out of town for 8 days. I have a t...
A. 12 February 2018: I'd say so yes.
I don't think it's unreasonable to not want your partner to be away for long periods of time fairly regularly and if you're already iffy about it whilst not an official couple, I really don't envisage it getting any better. ... (read in full...)
His profile picture on his second account is a sex scene and he’s interacting with other women! I feel sick!
Q. I've been dating this guy for 2 months. We always talk about our past. He doesn't have a father, he lives a very hard and tough life, his childhood was a total disaster But i was kind of shocked when he told me that he has a fake Facebook account ...
A. 12 February 2018: You don't love this guy, it is impossible to love someone after 2 months of dating, you barely know the guy.
It sounds like this guy needs professional help to stop what he's doing. He's tried in the past and gone back to it so I highly doubt he... (read in full...)
What is considered cheating in an open relationship?
Q. My wife and I agreed to be in an open relationship. We were both very into the idea for years. During sex, she haexpressed interest in a mutual male friend. Several months later I was suspecting that they were fooling around but she never mentione...
A. 12 February 2018: Well, there is no cheating in an open relationship. Isn't that the whole point of it being open?
I think the issue here is not your wife being with another man it's more the dishonesty she's shown. Can you get over that? Do you want to? Will you... (read in full...)
I drunk texted her while we were on a break!
Q. Hi. So me and my girlfriend are on a break due to our age difference I’m 10 years younger than her and this scares her as she feels she’ll hold me back. Anyway. Went out on Saturday and got very drunk woke up Sunday morning to see if text her. Now ...
A. 11 February 2018: There's nothing you can do now, just forget about it.
Wait for her to contact you and see what happens. If she doesn't, then don't start sending anymore messages, draw a line under it and move on as desperation is extremely off putting.... (read in full...)
How do I convince my much younger wife to allow another man to join us in the bedroom?
Q. Hi. I am looking for advice {mostly from women}on how to convince my wife (almost 20 years younger than me)to allow another younger man to join us in bed so I can watch him pleasure her. Without going into a boring explanation let me just say I'm ...
A. 11 February 2018: I think this is possibly a troll.
If not, then it's quite simple, you ask her and she says yes or no. If she says yes, then fantastic, you've possibly started the wheels turning on the down fall of your marriage. What happens if she falls in love ... (read in full...)
Should I go to this concert or not?
Q. Should I go to this concert or not?. I already have a ticket to see my favourite band for a seat for the 7th row in the front centre stalls block. Some security in some venues here let you stand at the front all the way through the concert, and some ...
A. 11 February 2018: I wouldn't waste my time faffing around to be about 3m further in front of where you already are.
Does the coach take you directly to the venue? If not why don't you book an uber to take you the rest of the way?
It's really not that hard to... (read in full...)
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