A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone. person i'm seeing for a year now,we not had the exclusive talk but hes told me we friends but seeing where it goes etc we are sleeping together mostly when we see each other sex is involved 9/10 times it happensnow recently iv not seen him since October but i text him over the weekend as had not heard off him in 2 weeks asking him whats up and why hes not spoke to me and told him if don't here back than its over and i will not pursue any contactso 24 hours still nothing so i sent one last message saying goodbye and that i delete his number,he texts back than saying hes been ill, had operation showed me proof etcand i told him i want buy something he says ill get it but you need keep it at yours babehe said he pop round mine Sunday evening if he has time as he had his daughter and depending what time he takes her home he come see me well he never turned up and hes not text me either since Sunday at 2 am to say he couldn't make it or even apologise anyway he started sexting for a bit but when he said he had to go at 2 am Sunday morning he said love you loads i didn't know how to respond to that so just replied with night me too...why not see me in 2 months and no communication he turn around and say love you loads and gifts we get together wants to keep at mine
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 November 2017):
 Hi OP I have read and answered your other question, may I suggest that you update that one as plenty off the aunts and uncles gave you good advice yet you did not reply.
I have not changed my opinion on him, he is using you plane and simple. He doesn't want other women to see the gifts you bought him so he is leaving them at your place and well he is keeping you there as a last resort for someone who he can hook up with. OP wake up and have more respect for yourself, show him you deserve better than this and that you ARE better than this and give him the boot. He says he loves you, but he doesn't his actions are more important than his words. My partner loves me and he could not and would not leave me for two months or not contact me every day. This is not love OP but I do hope you tell him goodbye and show him you can do better. Good luck.
A
female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016  +, writes (22 November 2017):
He uses you for sex and flatters you so he can keep you for sex. Simple as that.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (21 November 2017):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-he-doing-his-last-text-said.html
This sounds really familiar.
If you're not together after seeing each other for a year you never will be. Stop wasting your time. He's feeding you what you want to hear so you stick around for no strings attached sex.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 November 2017):
 Eh , if after one year you are not exclusive and you still are " friends " -who-have-sex-together... and are going to see where this is going... this is not going anywhere, you can bet on that.
Why would he say he loves you ? because that's what you want to hear; he knows that he has just to give you minimal attention ( random text after weeks of silence ) and a couple of sweet words, and you'll keep providing sex on tap and accepting meekly the BS he is feeding you .
You must be another one, OP, of the many people who apparently don't believe in " actions speak louder than words ".
Talk is cheap.
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I low you I love you ..... see how easy it is ? It took me few seconds to type that, ( with my mind to all other stuff ) and I am not even a fast typer , if I were I could write love poems .
A better question would be, why do you accept such a shoddy treatment ( if you want more than random hookups )
Can't you really see anything wrong with the hospital situation ? So, OK, he really had to have an operation - well, unless he was 2 months in a coma, how come he could not see you after or before that , how come he could not text you after or before the operation, how come he did not bother to have you called by a third party ( a friend, a nurse, a hospital volinteer ) if he was so unwell that he could not call you himself- to let you know what was going on, so that you did not have to worry ?
I get it that you are not officially dating, but only friends with benefits- but where's the " friends " part in this ?! He ends up in a hospital and that's supposed to be none of your business ? That's more into
" meaningless fuck buddy " territory. Which could be allright, if you were content with just that , and were not looking for hidden meanings in a "love" message that clearly means : keep putting out for me IF and when I feel like it, and for the rest , stay off my business.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (21 November 2017):
 Sweetheart, wake up. Why do YOU think he wants you to keep stuff at yours? So whoever has been around with him the last couple of months doesn't see it.
So he had an op? Did they sew his fingers together so he could not contact you?
How much longer are you going to give him to decide whether he wants to treat you decently? You remind me of parents who threaten their children when they misbehave. "No sweeties if you don't stop." "I mean it, no sweeties." "Oh ok, have some sweeties." You just keep threatening him then carry on allowing him to treat you like an afterthought, a plan B.
Words a cheap. Don't listen to what he says, but watch what he DOES. That will give you a much better indication of what sort of a man he is.
You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2017): Why?
Because he wants you to be available for sex in another two months just in case he's bored, or just in case he's between hook ups. Just in case.
He's got other women he's having sex with. It is obvious. If he was interested in you, he wouldn't go missing for 2 months and you wouldn't be the one who always has to chase him.
He says these bullshit words to keep you hooked. They are lies. How pathetic to make a woman think you love her just to extract sex from her.
And about the operation, that's another lie. He really embellished that one! He's pretty good at lying. It's up to you to see past his lies and stringing you along and tell him to take a permanent hike out of your life. You are in control. Not him.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (21 November 2017):
 The reason he wants you to keep any gifts you buy him at your place is because he doesn't want them to be at his ...... WHY? I hear you ask.
Because he doesn't want to have to explain them to anybody else if they are at his .... another woman for example.
If you want to be his bit on the side or the booty call he contacts when he feels like some sex then continue as you are.
If, however, you are wanting to be in a loving, committed relationship this guy is not the one for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 November 2017):
 OP,..... DUDE... or DUDETTE!
You are being played and used as entertainment. If you have been seeing each other for a year... and are NOT exclusive but "just friends" who have sex then he is NOt interested in MORE than SEX with you.
Are you content with the amount of time he spends on you and with you? Are you fulfilled by this... half ASSED way he treats you?
If you are, then go ahead keep going and waste MORE time on this fella. If you are not... just BLOCK/DELETE and move on.
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