A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I posted a while ago saying i had a met a man with quite an usual job- he's a travel author (fairly successful). He is 35 years old, is in the public eye quite a lot and has a lot of female attention. I went on 2 dates with him back in june but then i moved away and got back with my ex boyfriend.We stayed in touch intermitently via text. I split up with my boyfriend and started to text him again. The texts are quite flirty, but he mostly sends me photos of his travels, asks me how i am etc.A few weeks ago i sent him a nude photo. I teally didny thibk i would see him again and was just really having some fun. We started talking again a lot, and now he has asked me to go and spend a week with him on his latest expedition. He texts me constantly and has called me a few times too over the past few weeks. I guess what im trying to determine is, as he has asked me to join him for a week, do you think it might mean he is interested in me as more than casual sex? I feel silly that i sent the nude. I would like to sleep with him but hope he hasnt lost respect for me and just sees me as an object. The fact that he has asked me to go and neet him for a week surely indicates he wants to get to know me more, on more than a sexual level?Please be honest!Thankyou
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 November 2017):
 To me if I was sent a naked photo I would not take the person seriously at all and I would find them very easy. Also I would think that I wasn't the only one getting these pictures. This picture is out there now, you barely know this guy how do you know he is not going to post your nudes all over the internet? Surely at your age you should see the issue here with sending nudes to people you barely know. I am not sure what kind off fun that was for you, but I know personally I would loose respect if it was me receiving that photo.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2017): Well the fact he's invited you for a getaway definitely means he's interested. It's hard to tell, however, if there's the chance that it will be more meaningful than a hook up. The fact that you sent him a nudie certainly sends the message that you are down to hook up. That is sealed in his mind and there is no going around that now. And it's not unusual for a guy to wine, dine, take on a trip a girl he just wants to non committally hook up with. While it is very likely he may just want to hook up with you, no strings attached, you also will never know for sure unless you meet with him. I wouldn't get my hopes up though. I would proceed with minimal expectation and a "let's have fun" attitude. You're young, you're single, there's no harm in that. The cooler you are about it the more likely a friendship will develop. That is, as long as he's respectful toward you. Some men who just want to hook up with you and nothing more might act impatient and disrespectful toward you if you don't put out. Just to be extra safe and sure, to avoid any awkward situations, you could suggest meeting for an evening on the town before committing to a weeklong vacation. And see how it goes. Otherwise, there's a chance you'd be stuck together for a whole week with no escape should things head southward between you two. But if you feel confident, just want to have fun, and you can handle the consequences then go for it, get to know him, enjoy him and just have fun.
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A
female
reader, kinggabbieee  +, writes (20 November 2017):
The nude picture text has always been one of confusion for women and I never knew why. For as long as I can remember, I have been asked by many men for naked pictures. All my friends sent them to their guys or boyfriends, but there was one thing that they all had in common.. It was an indication for sex. If your at the beach and you send a picture of the ocean wave and your feet in the sand, whats the message being sent? That your in a beautiful place and your having a beautiful time! Same goes for the naked pic.Sometimes its good to be spontaneous with a BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND/PARTNER or at LEAST someone you trust enough, but clearly you sent that photo to get some attention from him and you mentioned you wanted to sleep with him, so if you think about it, your getting exactly what you were hoping for, except now you feel like you sent the wrong message. If you have to question why he is inviting you on the trip, your right. It's because he wants to have a good time and have good sex. If you are wanting more from him, then don't have sex with him. If he only wants you for sex and thats not enough, then at least you know now.Good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (20 November 2017):
 Sorry, a typo made within my previous reply.
Never, ever be too trusting of somebody you've just met or don't know very well.
Also, think about this.
If you really liked a guy and he sent you images of his penis, either flaccid or erect, when you didn't even know him well, or hadn't even met, how would you truly feel about that and what would you think of that guy?
Well, it's the same thing for him, where you're concerned.
All the best!
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A
female
reader, femmenoir +, writes (20 November 2017):
I should also add, you've already turned this guy on with your "nude image", you've "titillated" his senses by way of "visual temptation" and now he wants the "real thing".
Ask yourself, is this how i really want to be treated/viewed by a guy that i wish to pursue a relationship with and is this the best way to go about trying to gain somebody's respect and trust?
Also, what will his family/friends think of me, if this was potentially exposed?
I think you know the answers to the questions.
Be very careful, because when you don't know and trust somebody 100%, this image may/can be used "against you".
Never, ever be too trusting of ANYBODY.
These stories are always aired via media nowadays and the outcomes are usually very negative.
You will never be able to have anything serious, long term, if you yourself don't behave in a serious manner.
Change your ways and best of luck!
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A
female
reader, femmenoir +, writes (20 November 2017):
You sent this guy a "nude image" of yourself and then he "suddenly" ramps up his interest in you.
Can you see the connection here?
See this a "red flag", because by offering your body to him via text/social media, has made him "see" you as an "easy target/object".
He secretly looks at you as "easy", perhaps even "sleazy and cheap".
A man will NEVER RESPECT YOU, if you don't RESPECT YOURSELF.
Being seen to carry "self-respect" and being seen as a "proper young lady" when you have sent a completely nude image of yourself, to a guy you hardly know and have only met a few times, isn't at all possible.
The other issue is that, you and he have been on/off, because you've been on/off with your ex bf and it sounds as though you're not completely "over your ex", nor do you even sound as though you know where you're heading, relationship wise.
You do come across as confused and unsure.
You shouldn't dabble between two men simultaneously, UNLESS, this is what you're ALL OK WITH.
This isn't fair to you, nor these two men.
Before thinking about pursuing a relationship with a man, make sure that you're completely OVER YOUR EX/S and find your complete closure BEFORE you re-commence dating.
If you DON'T do this, you're always going to be "adding baggage onto baggage" within every new relationship and the outcome, "NO RELATIONSHIP AT ALL, BECAUSE IT WILL NOT SURVIVE.
STOP sending nude images of yourself to this man or any man in future.
It's totally unnecessary and it makes you look like a "bad girl" in the eyes of the beholder.
I have always been told by many men that i know, that they'd never, ever take seriously AND RESPECT FULLY, a woman who exposed herself to him via images, before even commencing a "proper relationship".
A man will always "respect and take more seriously" a woman who displays herself in a dignified and respectful manner.
How you "carry yourself" is how you will be seen and treated.
This is time to change the "negative" into a "positive" and i am sure you'll have greater success with this guy and/or any future guy, if at all it's MEANT TO BE.
You don't want to go and meet this guy in person, spend a week with him for mere sexual pleasure.
This is what he's after and it's very obvious.
If you want a REAL relationship, it's honestly going to require a hell of a lot more than sex.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (19 November 2017):
Why would a man respect a woman who sent a nude photo of herself o a stranger?
In the age of the internet and revenge porn I can think of nothing dumber than emailing a nude pick to anyone but especially a stranger. Of course he wants to get between the sheets with you. That is what you signaled when you sent him the nude pic. Earlier I wrote that I cannot think of anything dumber than sending nude pics to a stranger actually I can. Traveling to meet that stranger expecting that he wants something more than casual sex. That would be dumber.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 November 2017):
 Personally, if I was sent a nude I'd think the girl in question wants something sexual and is going to give it up very easily.
If you want a guy to like you deeply, this is absolutely not the way to go about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2017): No, sorry. The fact you've sent him the nude tells him you're game. He knows you want to have sex with him without commitment. That's how he sees it. You've played into his hand.
It isn't a relationship. He isn't interested in that.
What he is looking for is a sexual fling/escape of one week with you. He's looking for the GF experience but it's mainly all about the sex.
Some men like a woman's company and enjoy doing fun things together as well as stimulating conversation and lots of laughs. Makes the sex more enjoyable than wham bam with strangers.
He may operate this way. Have numerous flings with the female admirers he likes as just a little more than a sex toy. But at the end of the day, all they will ever be is a sex toy.
I'd proceed with extreme caution. I would worry about getting my heart broken if I were you.
What's going to happen when that week is over? And you had the best time with him? The best sex? Bonded with him? Because we all do what we have sex with a guy.
Will he still want to be with you or will he give you a convenient excuse that he must now travel to a country far away to write another article? This guy is always going to be on the move and you will never feel at ease. He could have a different girl in every country he visits. And none of you would ever know about each other.
I think he's a player. I think he's using his M.O on you - like he does the other women - and I think he is taking advantage of his job and position to take advantage of women sexually. He seems to have easy pickings right at his finger tips.
How do you know other women haven't sent him nudes before or he has exchanged dirty texts with them? Who is the common denominator here? He is. And I doubt a guy like this will ever change.
You're an adult. If you're capable of a fling with no expectations or commitment, and can just use him as a strictly sexual adventure, go ahead. I have doubts that you can do that. But..... If you proceed, keep your eyes wide open. Don't expect or hope for anything more than sex. And don't expect you will be the first. Or the last.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (19 November 2017):
Obviously, you mucked up the waters by sending him a nude photo. He is obviously expecting sex and you don't want to take him up on this trip invitation if you have any qualms about fulfilling those expectations. As you have some background with him and he's kept in touch, he sees you as obviously more than just a f-buddy. Will he think any less of you for sending a nude photo? Possibly, although sending a nude photo has become less of a tramp stamp than what it used to be. I don't think a frequent traveler like this fellow - who has "options" - would invite you on a trip just to have sex with you. He is too wise to be traveling 24/7 with someone who is only useful for an hour or so at night. But he's been put on notice to watch you for any further signs of immaturity.
Assuming you are enthusiastic about having sex with this fellow, I'd take the trip. Years ago a lady travel writer invited me on a free trip to accompany her on an Alaskan cruise and I didn't take it. I still regret that one and I still have Alaska on my bucket list. But two things...use protection and - before you commit - have an understanding of what expenses you are responsible for. It is possible that he wants you to pay your own travel costs, and split meals and lodging. That's OK if you are fine with it but you don't want to suddenly find this fling is going to drain you financially.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2017): I might warn you that he may take liberties assuming he has been given prior permission to go for it. You still have the right to suggest he keeps his hands to himself; until you feel the time is right for you. Your body is your body, and no one takes liberties without your consent; no matter what their opinion of you is. You deserve respect regardless of the pictures.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2017): Let's discuss the motive behind sending nude photos to a man you barely know; or actually, none at all.
What did you think sending him explicit pictures of yourself would prove? What did you want him to think? What do nude photos mean to you, or what message do you get when you receive them?
Hindsight and regret always comes too late. If he had considered anything serious, you may have lessened the odds in favor of that; because he has to take your sense of judgement and impulse-control under consideration. He has to also wonder how many other men have had the pleasure?
As you've indicated, he may enjoy some extra popularity with the ladies based on his chosen profession and his minor notoriety. Which I think may have sparked a little desperation to grab his attention and distract him from the other women.
Sweetie, you know you take a great risk sending nudes over the internet or by phone. There is no telling how they are shared or what might be done with them. If you showed your face, you will surely be identifiable. Even distinguishing birthmarks or tattoos are giveaways. Once in his possession, he can share them with whomever he chooses; and you may be introduced to one of his friends who has seen them. Once in his possession, they are his personal-property to share and distribute as he pleases.
You take it now with pride. You did it, and what's done is done. After the fact is not the time to worry about respect. Just accept it as it is, and don't do it again. Trust your personality, intelligence, and charm. Your beauty and sex-appeal speaks for itself.
Believe in yourself; don't use your body as bait to snare a man. You may have sent more of a message that you're sexually-available, than looking for a meaningful relationship.
Well, it is not likely he will judge you as a prude. As far as girlfriend or wife-material; I guess that will depend on his system of values or morals. You didn't think to get to know him well enough to determine that. Now did you?
Lets consider this water under the bridge; and what comes of it, comes. Just be yourself, and let the cards fall where they may. He may be intrigued. Just don't beat yourself up over this. Sometimes we all get somewhat eager to get someone's attention, and may try a little too hard. Anybody here who says they never have, wouldn't be telling the truth.
It's a popular trend to do what you did. So you're not necessarily in a minority. Who knows, he probably gets them all the time. Just be sure you let him get to know you for you, not just the possible opportunities awaiting him in the bedroom.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (19 November 2017):
 To be honest, if this was single me on the receiving end of the nude picture, I'd think that what I have is an easy, effortless sex so I would pursue it without any expectation of anything more. I would also tend to think that you may have done this to other men to get their attraction, so here you are doing it on me, as a passing fancy and that would be a major obstacle in considering any relationship ... unless proven otherwise which is kind of hard. So sending a nude after 2 dates is not a particularly great "relationship" signal a typical guy can get. Just an honest male opinion here.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 November 2017):
 No, it does NOT surely indicate that he wants to get to know you more, on more than a sexual level.
That's not excluded, I guess. Who knows , maybe you go and you it hit off so famously and have such a good time together, that it can lead to something more, regardless of the way it started.
But as of now, I doubt that he invited you because he sees in you the future mother of his children. It's not even a matter of losing or keeping respect, it's a matter of responding to certain messages with a fitting, appropriate message.
Sending a nude pic to a guy you barely know and with whom all you have is a casual on line flirtation, does not exactly convey " I want to find out if our immortal souls can merge and I want to spend hours with you comparing our thoughts about Kant's philosophy ". It sort if conveys, as Sheril Crow would say " All I wanna do is have some fun - I have got the feeling I'm not the only one "- and he responded accordingly.
Now, like I said, we can't exclude that you hit it off and get along on more than a physical level, and that a week of adventure fun and games may turn into something less frivolous.
But surely I would not count on that , least of all expect it; it would be a naive, unwarranted expectation.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 November 2017):
 1. I think it's it was a REALLY dumb move to send nudes to someone you are NOT in a long-term relationship with. But that may just be MY personal opinion. I think it's AS inappropriate as men sending UNSOLICITED dick pics.
2. Does he want more than sex from you? Honestly? Impossible to say but you HAVE already offered pictures of your body to "free usage" so he might presume you are interested in some semi-casual thing.
3. Has he lost respect for you? I don't think so. Pretty sure the guy has seen nude women before. Whether he wants to date you or just "have fun" is impossible to tell.
You chose to USE your body as "bait" to catch his interest and now that you have you are unsure. So my advice? In the future use your common sense. If you want a guy to pay attention and get to know YOU - don't send nudes. And secondly, be a LITTLE bit more mindful of who you send nudes to.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (19 November 2017):
 Honestly? He probably sees the nude photo as your offer of sex on a plate. He has a week on his own. Why not have someone with him who is offering herself to him?
Whether he has any intention of making your relationship more long term than the week is anyone's guess. Perhaps he has absolutely NO intention of seeing you after that. Or perhaps he is using the week together to see how you get on and will make a decision after that. Do you even know if he is available for a relationship?
Have fun for a week if you want to but don't bank on anything more than that. You may even decide YOU don't like HIM after a week.
In future, if you want to be taken seriously and be respected, I would suggest refraining from sending random nude photographs to men with whom you are not in a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 November 2017):
 You'll only be seen as a sex object unless you ask for more than just sex - BEFORE hooking up. How can he see you as more than a F buddy if you send nudes and would have sex before being in an official relationship with him?
As a side note, how nude was that picture? Did it have your face or identifiable tattoos in? If so, that was very unwise and you may find it backfires and follows you around.
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