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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Dealing with low self-esteem and body image from acne scars
Q. Hi guys, I have been dating a guy for close to 2 months. We have a great connection and i really like him. But he cares too much about physical appearance. I think I am good looking, both body and face, but have hypopigmented acne scars on my...
A. 4 January 2018: Glad to hear it.
Best wishes for the future ... (read in full...)
My ex's actions make me feel like I was never worth fighting for
Q. Hi guys, So this is an ongoing problem with my ex bf that has left me feeling confused, angry, resentful, but mostly hurt, and I need advice on how to deal with the situation. So earlier this year, I posted on this website about whether or no...
A. 26 December 2017: I'm glad that you're feeling better about the situation.
I would say you're being bitchy at all. Not wishing someone a merry Christmas that you don't want anything to do with is completely normal. In fact I think you'd be doing yourself no favou... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 22 December 2017: I'm really starting to think this is a troll.
Possibly the most pointless question I've seen on this website considering this situation doesn't even concern you and whenever you've been asked why you're interested you ignore the question... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 21 December 2017: Please explain to us then why you've asked 2 questions on the exact same subject? You keep swerving the question.
I can't fathom why you're so interested.... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 20 December 2017: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-my-general-manager-so-hung-up.html... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 20 December 2017: You have already asked a question of the exact same scenario from the viewpoint of female A...... (read in full...)
Should I go and see my ex and offer my condolences because his father died?
Q. I received a text message from my ex boyfriend this morning saying that his dad passed away last Thursday. I hadn't heard from him for two months before that and haven't seen him for three months. We broke up ten months ago . Strangely enough, I ...
A. 20 December 2017: I agree with the others, complete garbage.
Not allowed GFs in the house? How old is this guy? 12 years old??
I think he's used this situation to contact you in hopes of starting something back up, what it is I don't know. Maybe the other poster... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 19 December 2017: I'm really struggling to understand why you care so much?
You're 36+ years old....you're not living in a soap opera. What you're describing is a work atmosphere. Instead of wondering the behind the scenes of your boss' love life looks like, wh... (read in full...)
Should I go and see my ex and offer my condolences because his father died?
Q. I received a text message from my ex boyfriend this morning saying that his dad passed away last Thursday. I hadn't heard from him for two months before that and haven't seen him for three months. We broke up ten months ago . Strangely enough, I ...
A. 19 December 2017: I don't think either of these men are for you.
Distance yourself from both, end your current relationship as it sounds like you're getting no satisfaction whatsoever. Even if you still have feelings for him, the relationship didn't sound good and... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 18 December 2017: Yes of course people settle for others in life.
Lots of reasons: Lack of ambition, fear of loneliness, comfortability to name a few.
The real question is why are you asking this question? Why would you be bothered if it had nothing to do wi... (read in full...)
Should I go and see my ex and offer my condolences because his father died?
Q. I received a text message from my ex boyfriend this morning saying that his dad passed away last Thursday. I hadn't heard from him for two months before that and haven't seen him for three months. We broke up ten months ago . Strangely enough, I ...
A. 18 December 2017: Well that depends.
Do you want to see him? Are you hoping to achieve something from seeing him? Are old feelings going to be brought up? It is actually going to be a good idea?
Honestly, you're broken up. He wants someone to lean on through ... (read in full...)
Three men and I can't date them all. Who would you pick?
Q. I appreciate your help in advance. I don’t know what to do with these three men in my life. I’m 40 years old divorced with one child. My ex husband who is trying to take me back and hasn’t moved on 3 years after our divorce. I know the first guy who ...
A. 18 December 2017: You have your concerns about all of them which to me says none are suitable.
Unless any of them are jumping out at you and you think they can add something to your quality of life then I'd keep looking. From your description it sounds like non... (read in full...)
My ex is living with his partner but confessing to love me. Is he playing games?
Q. I split with my partner two years ago. He gets in contact every few months to say he misses me etc. Not long after we split (he ended the relationship) he met someone else. He’s confessed it was a rebound. Last month he told me that I’m the only ...
A. 18 December 2017: Of course he is messing you around.
Very sleazy behaviour, if he had anything about him he would of ended his relationship and be living without his current partner before announcing his love for you.
My guess? He's going to try to get you t... (read in full...)
Signs he is a compulsive liar? what the heck is that attitude after breakup?
Q. Hey everyone, So I broke up with my bf about 1 month and a half ago. I am 22, he is 25. We had been together for 1 year and a half. We met as international students (in Australia, I was exchange student and he was studying engineering ther...
A. 18 December 2017: The thing here is he sounds like a compulsive liar, the fact that he broke up with you imo is a good thing.
If he lies about his father dying and not bat an eyelid what other smaller things could he lie about? Stop trying to work out why he broke... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend too sexually demanding?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend around half a year. He has really bad anger issues which he has been trying to control but he still has his outbursts. One of the things that triggers these outbursts is when I don’t give him head when he wants it. ...
A. 17 December 2017: Get out whilst you still can.
Write the money off, you're not getting that back, but definitely leave this guy before he seriously hurts you.
I don't see what you could possibly like about him to be quite honest. If he had a bad upbringing t... (read in full...)
My female friend said she had an "inappropriate" dream about me. What could it be?
Q. A friend of the opposite gender brought something up. We were talking about dreams, all sorts of dreams, and then she said 'I had a dream about you recently'. I asked what the dream was about and then after a long pause she responded with 'it's ...
A. 15 December 2017: More than likely sexual.... (read in full...)
Not sure how I feel about this married man anymore, what should I do?
Q. Hey all! So I've been hooking up with a married man (mid 30s, yes I know im terrible for it) for about 9 months now, but the first time we had sex, we didnt communicate or see each other for almost 3 months, like I actually thought I wouldn't see or ...
A. 14 December 2017: Okay so you can't date people your age for the issues that you listed and what exactly do you think you have with this cheating scumbag? A healthy, functional relationship? Of course not, you're the side piece that he fucks behind his wife's back ... (read in full...)
My friend is behaving differently since we had sex
Q. So I'm 25 best friend is 29. So I have been really good friends with an American man for about 12 years now, we met online and were penpals , we have emailed nearly every day for 12 years and always ring each other and there for each other if we ...
A. 13 December 2017: If you like him then why not just go for it? It's worth a shot. ... (read in full...)
I always seek validation, but I shouldn't really need it!
Q. Why do I attract these men or better yet these people in my life? Hello aunts I am turning 32 next month and I am at a dead end with men . I have stoped daring and having sex for the last year an a half but I don’t jnow why I attract men that are ...
A. 13 December 2017: I think therapy would be a good idea for you to get the root cause for why you're feeling this way.
The majority of people may have insecurities but the difference between you and them is they know how to deal with them, whereas for you for some... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being brutally honest and I can't cope with it.
Q. Been dating for a year and it's the BEST relationship I've ever been in. However, he's starting to be brutally honest and I'm not liking it. I've told him how I felt, even cried and I try to avoid certain topics just because where it can lead to. He ...
A. 13 December 2017: I agree that more info is needed here.
If this is a recent thing there must be a reason behind why he's doing it.... (read in full...)
What are the odds of this girl getting pregnant?
Q. Hello. I went out on a date with a young 26 year old lady that I met online, and things went pretty well. Anyways afterwards she invited me to her room and well we started making out and one thing lead to another and we ended up undressing and ...
A. 12 December 2017: I'd run a mile from this one.
Openly telling you she wants to get pregnant after rubbing your semen on her genitals? Avoid this one my friend, who knows what other tricks she has up her sleeves to get knocked up.... (read in full...)
Should we able to pull the foreskin completely back to the end of penis?
Q. Should we able to pull the foreskin completely back to the end of pennis? I'm 22 year old, i have never masturbated and never had sex till now.. till yesterday, my penis head is completely covered.. and now tried to pull it back, and i can able to ...
A. 11 December 2017: You should be able to pull it back over your the head of your penis but no further.
I think you need to do some of your own research on this, give it a google search and you'll be able to find more information if you're still unsure.... (read in full...)
Just lost a parent and he’s gone away. Should I break up with him for this?
Q. Hi All, Just looking for some advice at what is already a confusing and low time. I’ve just lost a very close family member, a parent and I feel like my partner hasn’t been as supportive as he could. I’m not taking it well at all. We were very clo...
A. 11 December 2017: I have to agree with Phil in that I don't think he knows how to comfort you so he's doing anything he can to avoid having to try.
If I were in your shoes I think I would break up with him as Honeypie said. Also agreeing that what would he be like ... (read in full...)
Do I owe her an apology?
Q. Dear cupid, Guys I've done something stupid and I don't know how to make it up. I feel like I am a dirt bag for this but I feel like I was being taken advantage of and I lashed out. See I've kind of sort of been seeing this girl for the past 7 m...
A. 11 December 2017: It's probably not what you want to hear but I don't buy her story at all.
I think she needed to come up with a reason for you not to get pissed and that was the best she had. Also, the busy thing? Sure people have a lot going on in their life, bu... (read in full...)
Do I tell my girlfriend about an unwanted kiss?
Q. Hi I am a male aged 25 , I have been with my gf for almost 2 years , I am studying abroad so we are in a LDR for like a year , yesterday I went out and I was with my friend there and he talked to a girl and I was his wingman and started talking with ...
A. 11 December 2017: No, I think this would cause more harm than good.
Unless you had inhuman reactions then I really don't think you could of avoided that kiss. But in future maybe don't put yourself into the situation where things like that might happen.... (read in full...)
Should we able to pull the foreskin completely back to the end of penis?
Q. Should we able to pull the foreskin completely back to the end of pennis? I'm 22 year old, i have never masturbated and never had sex till now.. till yesterday, my penis head is completely covered.. and now tried to pull it back, and i can able to ...
A. 10 December 2017: Yes it's normal. How would you expect to clean under the foreskin if you couldn't?... (read in full...)
I still don't know if he's prepared to be in the sort of relationship I want to be in.
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years have spent the last 4/5 months very much on off. We initially broke up 4 months ago because we started back at uni and he was spending none of his time with me, with all his free time dedicated to going out with his friends, ...
A. 10 December 2017: If you have to ask this question I think deep down you know it's not going to work.
Relationships should be fluid and natural not having to force things and wonder how things are going or what state it's going to be in in the near future. ... (read in full...)
She's left me twice does she deserve my respect? Or do I just be her friend like nothing ever happened?
Q. Hello ladies, got a question for you, I was seeing this woman, she left me for another guy, OK, five years later we started to see each other again, she did it again, with a friend in a band, now he dumped her and she is trying to talk to me, am I ...
A. 10 December 2017: Come on man, do you really need to ask this?
She uses you until something better comes along, grow a back bone and tell her to piss off. I think this is more a case of you not respecting yourself and keep letting her back in.... (read in full...)
A practical joke gone horribly wrong
Q. My friend Bailey and I played a joke on our friend Eve just to embarrass her and teach her a lesson but Bailey took it too far and now Eve got suspended and her parents punished her real bad. She's not aloud to talk to us or anyone or go anywhere ...
A. 10 December 2017: Teach her a lesson for what exactly?
I'm sorry but you two sound like bad friends in all honesty, you're both going to let an innocent girl take the punishment for something that she didn't do because you don't want to get into trouble? I think th... (read in full...)
Will he always cheat on me?
Q. Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and a month ago I caught him talking to other girls on snapchat and receiving nudes. I pulled him up on it and was going to leave him however gave him a second chance. A few days ago...
A. 10 December 2017: Yes of course he will keep doing it.
Why would he stop? You're enabling his actions. How can he have 2 final chances? Surely final chance means one more after being caught the initial time? And you've already gone against that so he knows you're a... (read in full...)
Troubled and confused by girlfriend and her kitten
Q. Dear all This problem is a bit strange and you may think I am weird, however this is just the way I am. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I love very much. We have plans to be together soon. Recently she out of the blue to...
A. 8 December 2017: What can you do exactly? You're not even in the same place as her.
If your gf is upset then comfort her. Whatever she decides to do with the cat is up to her. You're thinking way too deeply into this, I'm sure there will be many people willing ... (read in full...)
On dating site for six years. Should this be a worry?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for a month and a half now. We text everyday, talk on the phone and we have been on multiple dates. Each time he is initiating it. So far things are looking spectacular! However, when I asked him how long he has been on the d...
A. 8 December 2017: Why don't you ask him? I really don't think that's an unreasonable question to ask a potential partner if it's concerning you.... (read in full...)
Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 8 December 2017: You can't undo something like what you did I'm afraid. 2 Years of backstabbing is a lot.
I wouldn't necessarily say her still contacting you has any ulterior motive behind things. I think the only option that you have is to give her space and see ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappily married but in love with a man who's engaged but hesitant to leave his fiance
Q. Please could I ask for some advice on my situation... I have been married for 3 years but for the last year the marriage has been very difficult and we both feel that we have grown too far apart to fix things, although haven’t yet said we will div...
A. 8 December 2017: Either divorce your husband or work on things, why stay with someone you don't love?
In all honesty if this guy was going to leave his fiancé I think he would of done it by now. You're barking up the wrong tree here. Also, for one second don't th... (read in full...)
I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?
Q. So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...
A. 7 December 2017: Well you see, there's your problem.
You don't think you did anything wrong, when it reality it's clear to see that you did many things wrong, hence why this girl will no longer speak to you.
Leave her alone and accept that she doesn't want any... (read in full...)
Dealing with low self-esteem and body image from acne scars
Q. Hi guys, I have been dating a guy for close to 2 months. We have a great connection and i really like him. But he cares too much about physical appearance. I think I am good looking, both body and face, but have hypopigmented acne scars on my...
A. 7 December 2017: IF he does break up with you because of it, why would you want to be with him anyways? Surely you would want to be with someone who is accepting of whatever flaws you feel you have? ... (read in full...)
I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?
Q. So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...
A. 7 December 2017: Oh wow, are you being serious?
On what planet are you living? If she was on this site asking for advice i would tell her to run a mile from you. What reason would I possibly be able to give her to make her stick around for you?
You got engag... (read in full...)
My sons are using the house for dating. What should I tell them?
Q. I’m a single dad of two teenage boys, one is 17 (almost 18) the other is 15. My oldest has a girlfriend and recently I found out they have been using my house after school for their hook up spot. I came home from work last week and found an empt...
A. 6 December 2017: I don't think you should do anything at all.
Your son knows that you know and you're aware that he's practising safe sex as you have mentioned. I don't think telling your sons gfs parents would achieve much and to be quite honest what are they exp... (read in full...)
Why the strange reaction to my bridesmaid offer?
Q. Hi Everyone :) I have a best friend who is acting strange. She recently started acting odd ever since I got engaged in August of 2017. I asked her if she would be my maid of honor? She said yes, then I met up with her at a restaurant and got...
A. 6 December 2017: If you don't want to lose the friendship then I'd call her out on it.
Something along the lines of 'Hey, I've noticed you have been acting a little out of character towards me for quite a while now, I want to make sure everything's okay'. Give her... (read in full...)
I need a plan to win her back
Q. i need help getting my ex back. we broke up december 2016. here's the brief history: we met 3 years ago. her and i started dating in october 2016. our relationship was absolutely wonderful! however, things started going downhill shortly a...
A. 6 December 2017: You need to let this go man, she doesn't want a relationship with you.
Things went downhill ONE MONTH into the relationship. I don't think there could be a worse sign that it's not going to work. She ghosted you for a month, told you she doesn't ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty I cheated on my boyfriend with his boss
Q. I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 22. We’ve been together for about 2 1/2 years and I’m beyond happy with him. The other night, we were fighting and I ended up leaving our apartment and just going for a drive when I stopped at the gas station and saw his ...
A. 6 December 2017: I have to disagree with wiseoldmans advice.
I think you have lost the right to decide what happens here by betraying your BF. Don't use drinking as an excuse, you still know the difference between right and wrong when you're drunk and if you get ... (read in full...)
I refused to trade nudes for friendship. Now what?
Q. A few months ago, a group of boys at my school saw me sitting alone, and asked if I wanted to join them. I never dared to approach them before, because I like one of them. They became my friend circle. I felt happy, hanging out with them, and b...
A. 5 December 2017: I must start by saying you sound like a really mature girl with your head firmly screwed on. That being said, I think you will understand me saying that NEITHER of these groups of people sound like very good friends.
Are there any groups or other... (read in full...)
I lost a good friend and now feel guilty
Q. Dear All I just need some advice. About 4 months ago I met a girl online as a language exchange partner. Purely platonic. We talked a lot and became really good friends. As we grew closer she said many things that made it clear she was not l...
A. 5 December 2017: Guilty for what exactly?
She was hiding her feelings, then all of a sudden decided to spring them upon you. She then started acting erratically trying to play games and when you asked to think about things she flew off the handle and blocked ... (read in full...)
My ex isn't apologetic about his behavior and its starting to turn me off
Q. I broke things off with him because he kept gaslighting me. Anytime I wanted to talk to him about something he’d call me a drama queen, sensitive, emotional. I got so drained trying to salvage things. The last straw was when he told me to shut up as ...
A. 5 December 2017: I wouldn't even be trying to reconcile.
The whole point of a break up is to leave each other be and move on. This guy hasn't changed since you left him which shows you were absolutely correct to do so. Stop hindering your moving on progress... (read in full...)
My ex's actions make me feel like I was never worth fighting for
Q. Hi guys, So this is an ongoing problem with my ex bf that has left me feeling confused, angry, resentful, but mostly hurt, and I need advice on how to deal with the situation. So earlier this year, I posted on this website about whether or no...
A. 4 December 2017: I genuinely don't think it's a problem with you so stop making it out that it is. In all honesty he just sounds like an absolute lazy bum in all aspects of his life. It's not that he isn't doing things for YOU he's not doing anything for HIMSELF.
... (read in full...)
Should I try and talk to him again?
Q. Hey, I'm new to this community and I just want to thank everyone who reads this! So, for the last 2years I've been simply experiencing phisical relationships with other people and 6 months ago I meet someone with whom I really could picture a ...
A. 4 December 2017: I think the fact that he stated he wants to have fun and that he can't hold a conversation shows he's not that into you.
If he really was interested he would make it shown. I think it sounds like he wants casual hook ups and it doesn't seem fro... (read in full...)
Do I stay with boyfriend or leave and hope something will happen with this other man?
Q. Hi everyone Looking for some advice. Im 32 years old and when I was 18 I met a lad (lets call him A) through a group of friends. I had just recently entered a relationship and A also had a girlfriend who he had been with a few years. There was...
A. 4 December 2017: Apologies, I mistyped unhappy, I meant to say something along the lines of if your feelings we stronger for A then why haven't you already left?... (read in full...)
Am I being over sensitive about this guy who keeps cancelling on me?
Q. Hey guys, I need a little advice on weather or not I handled something correctly.. So a few months ago I was working for a company and I became friends with my manager's younger brother who had just started working there the week I left. I left ...
A. 4 December 2017: Nope, sounds like a complete ass.
I'm surprised you've give him as many chances to be honest. Wouldn't give this guy another second of my life, complete and utter time waster.... (read in full...)
Do I stay with boyfriend or leave and hope something will happen with this other man?
Q. Hi everyone Looking for some advice. Im 32 years old and when I was 18 I met a lad (lets call him A) through a group of friends. I had just recently entered a relationship and A also had a girlfriend who he had been with a few years. There was...
A. 4 December 2017: It always sounds fantastic thinking about what you could have with someone else. I think most people will of experienced it at some point or other.
The main things here are:
You and A are both in relationships
You have a child with another o... (read in full...)
My pretty friend gets constant attention. How do I cope?
Q. This is long but I feel that details and some background info are important to get an understanding for some answers. This is not your typical, my friend is evidently prettier than me story. I have a friend who is very pretty. She's not a supe...
A. 4 December 2017: If this is the main thing you're worrying about in life I've say you've got it pretty easy.
There's much more important things to be concerned about and id say you're pretty shallow for this to be a main concern. Everybody has their differen... (read in full...)
Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 20 November 2017: Good on Sam.
I'd of dropped you like a bad habit also. How can you honestly say you care about her and then chat crap behind her back for 2 years? That makes no sense at all. A good friend would defend someone when they're unable to defend t... (read in full...)
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