A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I asked a girl I work with out to have dinner with me. We have been working together for around 6--8 months. I know her pretty well, but not really well, but in the end I just thought "who cares, go for it".So I asked her and she said it might be awkward as we work together and that she would think about it. That was yesterday. I think she would like to go out with me, she seemed happy and flattered that I asked (of course I can't be sure of that, it's just how it seemed to me at the time). But i dont know how long i should leave it before i speak to her about it again. Two days? Three? Any advice would be very much appreciated
View related questions:
co-worker, I work with Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (23 November 2017):
Don’t ask her again and don’t date coworkers.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2017): This answer is you never ask her out again. If you do you risk becoming someone who is harrassing another person on the team. Look how well that worked out for all of the people in the media who lost their jobs.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2017):
 She turned you down, man. And then she didnt want any awkwardness as you work together, so tried to be polite and say shed think about it. That means no.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 November 2017):
 You DO NOT ask her out again.
IF she is interested and WANT to go out on a date with you or out for lunch/coffee/whatever SHE will let you know.
Her telling you it might be awkward is because SHE feels it's awkward but she didn't want to tell you NO outright because she is a polite girl who didn't want to hurt your feelings. She is HOPING you would "get the drift" and NOT pursue her anymore.
If she was happy and/or flattered - she probably would have said YES, not a ... let me think about it.
So no. Don't ask her out again. don't MAKE things awkward for her. (and yourself)
And OP... IF you are looking for women to date, do it OUTSIDE the workplace. You go to work to work, no use it as a dating pool. That way, if it doesn't work out, you don't have to see her every day and have awkward moments at work.
Use common sense.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 November 2017):
 She wasn't happy or flattered that you asked.
Someone that was happy and flattered would of been doing everything in their power to arrange a date and declare their interest back. What she did is diffused the situation in the most polite way possible.
In a nutshell: she's not interested.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2017): Can you explain pretty well .. being honest you don’t know her at all. What you do know is one facet of her .. her work face. Yes we all wear masks depending on the situation we are in. At work you have to be extra polite and stay within the boundaries of that establishment abiding by their rules .At home relaxed you can be you .. idle general chitchat is not sorry knowing something it isn’t even scraping the surface of it .. if your dating pool is so small you have to date at work then I feel really sorry for you . I would be, as a female, very awkward if my male colleagues started hitting on me. Maybe what you were seeing was her polite face with the Oo this could be awkward meaning. I already am.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (22 November 2017):
 I would not ask her again. You have made the first move and she has told you what SHE thinks. Leave it to her to decide whether it would be a good idea to do it. Don't push it.
In your shoes I would stay friendly but not mention it again, otherwise things could get awkward between you.
Many people frown on workplace relationships and for good reason. Even if she agrees, tread carefully and don't flaunt your relationship in the workplace.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sam Wilson +, writes (22 November 2017):
 Dating co-workers really is a big No and is highly inadvisable so I think you should really give her some time to think about it about, a few weeks...in the meantime talk to her more in work try to get to know her more and let her opinion on the matter change naturally.
But if you really want to ask her out again, wait till this Friday or weekend. Do it casually so there's no pressure and it's more of you two hanging out than a romantic date, see were it goes, be comfortable around each other, check if it really is awkward then you can ask her out on a real date.
Workplace relationships tend to go wrong fast so there's more sensitivity involved, you shouldn't ask her out unless she really is someone you find really special.
Hoping for the best good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (22 November 2017):
 Give it some ample time, maybe until the end of the week. It is understandable however that you two do work together and dating does have the potential to lead to disaster down the road. But I also understand life is short and ceasing the moment.
The next time you talk with her maybe you could tone it down a bit to make her feel more comfortable in taking that step like saying phrases such as "Hanging out", "Do something after work", "Chill for a bit" Remember the point here is just to get here to agree to go somewhere with you alone.
Make sure you smile and exude confidence that she'll have a fun time.
All the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ormskirk360 +, writes (22 November 2017):
 Don't ask again. She's already told you it may get awkward as you work together. This is the reason you shouldn't date in the workplace. If you pester her, she could go to HR and you'll have caused yourself a whole heap of trouble. Drop it and leave her alone. Be professional at work.
...............................
|
