A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi all! Over the years, i find myself returning to this place whenever I’m in the need of a little advice. Hopefully this could be the last time lol...Okay, so I started dating this guy about 4 weeks ago. Totally took me by surprise, because he was someone I barely even knew.. I met him during the summer last year when I tried to sell him a car. He didn’t buy it, but he mentioned I was too pretty to sell cars and he added me on social media and that’s about it.. He’d check in on me every now and again and then last month I decided to check on him. Next day we went out for ice cream and the rest is history. It started off slow and a bit awkward, but when we finally kissed on our 3rd date, things got way easier between us.Well, it’s been 4 weeks.. We talk on FaceTime every night and text here and there throughout the day, and we’ve been on 8 dates so far. We make out but we haven’t had sex (he finally grabbed my butt for the first time recently while kissing and asked if it was okay with me, which it was). I told him something quite personal the other day, and yet it didn’t scare him off, in fact he said he was proud of me for telling him.. we’ve still been going out. So far, I have no issues with him.. Except one thing. Why hasn’t he asked me to be his girlfriend? I’ve had a bf before but this honestly feels like the first time I’ve ever really dated anyone. Most of the time, the first date is the last, and to my surprise, this guy actually seems like he likes me, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder what’s on his mind.I don’t want to be pushy but he talks about future things and includes me in it.. Yesterday he even asked me if my parents were going to like him. I would say my only real issue is that sometimes, we go ALL day without talking. Until like maybe 6pm.. Either I’ll call him or he’ll call me. And it makes me wonder if that means he’s not that into me or what.. Because if he wanted to talk to me he would right? Should I ask him where this is going, or wait a bit?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey all! Thanks for the advice.. The same night I wrote this, I spent some time with him and he said he could see himself with me (I didn’t bring it up). We didn’t discuss it further however. until the next day, I simply could not get it off my mind. Like it was keeping me awake not knowing. I didn’t need him to ask me right away, but I needed to know there was potential and that he wanted the same thing one day because I surely didn’t want to be hurt in the future. I decided to take the risk and basically bring it up when we were on FaceTime. He told me he wanted me to be his gf but didn’t want to rush it. Before I asked, I was worried I’d scare him off but figured If that happened, then I’d have to accept he wasn’t the one for me. But, he didn’t scare. Once he told me that, it put my mind at ease. As long as I knew he was in this in hopes of something, then I was fine. We talked the rest of the day on FaceTime (literally until I fell asleep) and it wasn’t awkward or weird or anything. Once we talked about that, we moved on and I felt better. He asked me to go out that night but the weather is pretty bad over here so I decided to stay in. The best thing about this guy is I can talk to him about things that I’m afraid of and he always says that he’s not the average guy, and that I can talk to him about anything. I guess I just get so scared because most guys would of bailed by now or would of been freaked out by what I said and made excuses not to talk to me again. I hope things go well.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 February 2018):
 OP it has only been four weeks so this is still all new to you both. You facetime ever single night which is a great start, texting every day is also a good sign. You say its been four weeks, eight dates, so that is average two a week! Everything sounds pretty normal and it all seems to be going well. He grabbed you but then asked if it was okay so it does sound like this guy respects you and is not pushing for sex. As for him asking you to be his girlfriend well you have only been dating for four weeks. You need to give it more time. Just because he can go a day without talking to you until the evening doesn't mean he is not interested, just remember that he has a life outside of dating as well. Don't expect to much or you will come across as needy and clingy. All sounds good just just enjoy dating and getting to know each other.
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A
male
reader, AMC  +, writes (21 February 2018):
I think you need more time, definitely. If someone doesn't speak all day, it is frustrating and can put doubts in your mind - I know, I have been there. But you always have to remember, especially in those early stages, people still have a life to get on with, be it work, family, friends - not everything can revolve around you, even though you feel it should. Again speaking from experience there! I think asking too early about where the relationship is headed could easily scare him off. Taking a little more time to get know him, spend more time with him, see how it naturally develops, that's the best plan at the moment I think.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2018): It took my boyfriend 4 months to ask me to be his "girlfriend". By then I had met his entire family and spent christmas with them. I was dying for him to ask me but not once did I push it and im glad I didn't as he asked me when he felt ready.As far as texting, Its 9pm and I still havent heard from my boyfriend today. Im stubborn so I wont text him first either. He has been like this from the day I met him, took me a while to get used to as like you mentioned, i figured he would text me if he wanted to talk to me? Turns out its just his personality and not because he isnt interested in me.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 February 2018):
 Woah, apply the breaks a little here.
It's been 4 weeks...28 days. That is NOT a long time. Definitely not long enough to know someone well enough to ask them into a relationship.
I think you need to relax. If he is serious about things then he will ask about things himself.
As for the lack of communication, it sounds like he's busy. What does he do with his day? I have many friends who can't use their phone AT ALL whilst at work and can only respond at dinner and break times. Some people don't live on their phones and don't keep up steady streams of contact with others. Why do you need to talk all day long anyway? If you call each other daily then why do you need to message all day also? That sounds a little needy to be honest.
I think you really need to chill here a bit, you've barely even started dating and you want him to ask you out and I think you're asking for too much communication. If the guy is responding and he's fine in person, then why does it matter what he's like over text?
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