A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do men catch feelings from having sex?I ask because I was talking to my best friend the other day and she said that she and the guy she is seeing, wants t stop having sex with her because he doesn't want to get too attached. she didn't understand because to both our knowledge, men don't catch feelings from sex. Science states that women get more attached through sex then men, so why would he give up sex to avoid attachment? i thought men can separate sex from emotion? Please explain...
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2018): No, we don’t. With females, everything including sex is more psychological. With men, it’s just sex.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 February 2018):
 I have heard of a man stopping sex with a woman before because he loved her and it was not returned. Not all men put sex first. Plenty of men don't have sex until they are in love.
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 February 2018):
 Thanks for checking back with us! It's always nice to know you are being read.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 February 2018):
 I'd stick to friendship and look for a partner (whether it's for a serious relationship or a casual one, elsewhere)
If someone says they DO NOT want to get too attached, it basically mean they aren't interested. IMHO. Like Auntie Cindy explained so well... SHE isn't the one for him.
And what is the point in a FWB/Casual is he doesn't want the sex-part? I mean... that is just a friendship then, so that is what I'd stick with.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 February 2018):
 I think it's also a matter of how you call things, how you define them. "To catch feelings " is so and it encompasses lot of things....
While of course every single human being is different and there is no law of physics or genetics which says that only women can catch feelings from sex and men can't... it is true that generally speaking men are a bit better at keeping sex and feelings separated and differentiated.
Men too, though, in the sense of males, are creature of habit, and often very inclined to get attached to things. Situations, habits , rituals. I think what this guy is saying is not, or at least not necessarily, that , if he keep seeing this girl, he is afraid of falling crazily in love with her. Just that he does not want to build up a situation of domesticity, physical and emotional comfort . coziness ... the GF experience, in short... when at the end of the day he knows that she is NOT the one, not what he really is looking for , and at some point she will have to be discarded. And when this happens after a while, after you have let the comfort and convenience of having the reliability of good , or at least decent , sex always at your beck and call take a hold on your life, as well as the inevitable, " mechanical " chumminess and camaraderie which comes from doing the same things together again and again... that sort of slows you down. You know that you want to branch out , and pass to new adventures , and at the same time if you have left things become too coupleyish , moving on gets more difficult and complicated and unpleasant for BOTH parties, not only the discarded one but also the discarder.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@aunthonesty i understand what you are saying, but i never heard of a man stopping sex with a woman because of feelings.... men love sex and
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@honeypie out of curiosity, if not a FWB or a relationship, then what?
...............................
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (15 February 2018):
Men and women are very different regarding this. They both bond during sex, but generally men much less so.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 February 2018):
Some people catch feelings from sex and others can seperate the two. It depends on lots of different factors that is happening in a persons life. Age has a lot to do with it as well. I say person because it happens with both sexes, both men and women sometimes want more and get hurt. Some people are happy with casual and others cannot handle it. At least he is being honest with her.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (15 February 2018):
 They can do, just the same as some women can.
Not everyone thinks and feels the same way do they?
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (15 February 2018):
Men are not immune to the bonding hormones released by touch and sexual activity. The Way that men separate sex from emotion is to move on to new partners frequently. I think you failed this chemistry exam.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 February 2018):
Not everyone are the same?
Being a man or woman doesn't mean ALL men do this and ALL women do that. I think it LARGELY comes with the biology, but I also think PERSONAL experiences play a role. Which means SOME men DO catch feelings and SOME women don't.
Even with scientific evidence it doesn't mean ONE size fits all.
I'd tell your friend to end it and walk away because WHAT is the point in NOT getting attached if they are dating or seeing each other?
If she WANTS a F-buddy/FWB - this guy isn't it.
If she wants a relationship - this guy isn't it.
...............................
|
