A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya I’ve been with my partner for 5 years now we have had problems throughout the relationship due to him we hardly spend any time together.we’ve been for 2 meals and to the pictures twice in 5 years. it’s like he doesn’t want to be seen with me. i keep myself fit and always wear make up whereas him he only gets his hair cut and has a shave every 6 months.the problem is we went to Burger King last week just the 2 of us and the conversation was so awkward we just didn’t know what to say to each other. anyone else been in this situation if so what did you do?thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2018): I have actually been in a similar situation. When I was married. We are now divorced. My husband was a lovely man, happy and good company in a group of people. We had known each other since we were twelve years old but didn't get together until we were twenty nine. So we had known each other for a long time by the time we actually got together. He was good looking and very popular with the ladies when we were younger. He asked me to marry him before he asked me out. I refused but we started seeing each other, but we were either with other people or making out.
We married after three years together and I felt very happy with him but as time went on, I realised that we never went anywhere on our own. No holidays or meals out or anything.
Even on Valentine's day we wouldn't go anywhere.
I'm an undemanding person and happy in my own company and I only ever want people to do what they want to do, but I did start to feel unwanted, even though I knew I wasn't.
I did manage to get him to go out with just me and I realised that he was nervous!
We did split up and he tried to stop me from leaving, but I felt single in my marriage and thought that if I felt single,the then I wanted to be single!
Now it doesn't sound as if this is the case with your man, but my point is, if you are not happy, then don't stay together. There is absolutely no point. Especially when there are plenty of others out there that you could be happy with.
Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2018): what do you do that makes you couple-like? Have sex regularly? If so, you're secret sex partners, and you're not supposed to see anyone else, that's all. Stop calling it a relationship, it's just sex
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2018): Why are you wasting your time on that slug? He takes you to a cheap fast-food restaurant for a date, like a 16 year-old kid???
I think the problem here is that you insist on having a relationship with a man who doesn't give a damn about you.
You can't bring yourself to move on, and you have a delusion that you have some sort of romantic-relationship.
Is he a married-man, and you neglected to reveal this in your post?
Read your post. Why would anyone stay with someone for five years, and have only been out with them four times? I think that surpasses the meaning of homebody. That's agoraphobic!!! Or he is one cheap bastard!
I can't image what advice you would be expecting, other than people asking what are you clinging onto? What would it take for you to see the reality of your situation, and what would it take to make you let go? You're wasting precious time, hopelessly clinging-on, and pouring your feelings into a bottomless pit!
I think maybe you need some professional-counseling. You need a mental-health professional to help you to realize what drives you to hold-on so desperately; when you're getting absolutely nothing from this man.
Maybe you've left-out a lot of backstory. As written, your post makes very little sense.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 February 2018):
 Okay so why are you still together?
Do you think things will magically change one day? You're clearly not happy and you've wasted 5 years with this guy. Why waste anymore time? We only have one life.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (23 February 2018):
Very strange! No, I don't think you'll find anyone on this site who has been in this particular situation. So the guy gets a hair cut and a shave every six months. I'd think you'd be most happy to NOT be seen out in public with him. I can only imagine that he has other peculiar quirks and short-comings. He is certainly very anti-social, especially when he can't even drum up a conversation.
Can you imagine him changing his ways? No, I didn't think so. He won't. I think you are fortunate that you don't spend much time together. You are better off spending zero time together. Get rid of him and start a new chapter in life...this one sucks. There's bound to be a much better one ahead.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 February 2018):
 Do you live together?
If not, WHAT are you doing wit ha guy who never wants to go out and create experiences and memories with you?
You sound like you are not fulfilled in this relationship and haven't been in a long time - so again WHY stay?
If it's NOT working then end it at walk away. Find someone who WANTS to spend time with you, who WANTS to put in an effort, who APPRECIATE you.
Do you really see yourself with this guy in 2 years? 5 years, 10?
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