A
female
age
30-35,
*icabeth
writes:Hi guys thanks for reading. I need help please and advise on what to do. I’ve been talkin to a guy I met on a dating site. We have meet up a few times, talk on the phone and text. But I havnt heard from him in 3 days. I only sent 1 text saying ‘have a gd weekend’. We talk via WhatsApp, and he’s been on WhatsApp but not seen the message. I understand he’s busy cos he’s starting up a new business and going through a divorce. But I’m scared I’ve pushed him awaybut I really like him a lot and I’m so confused. When we talk he’s amazing, I love spending time with him. When we meet up it’s so natural we are so close already and can be ourselves. He always messages me first loads of kisses. Thanks for readying guys and help and advise I’m so confused xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2018): Being on a dating site can be very unpredictable , ive tried them myself and some people may think i was over the top but id do a ' background ' check on the person i have a date with. Id look at their facebook at pictures , id do searches like they do on the tv show catfish . its better to be safe than sorry . Hes getting divorced and usually someone going through this just wants to have fun and not settle with anyone . you probably like him more than he likes you . If you message too much you will be seen as clingy . If i was you id wait a week before messaging him and keep it basic such as hi how are you .if he doesnt reply then just leave him , he knows where you are if he wants to see you again. Yes it does take 2 mins to reply to someone but it sounds like hes not fully invested in you and thats why he hasnt replied. dont make excuses for him saying hes working lots and going through a divorce your trying to convince yourself thats why he hasnt got back in touch but its not true. I wouldnt expect him to want a full on relationship. Keep your options open and see other people
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 March 2018):
 Way too much drama.
He's seen the message but decided not to reply. It's impossible to go on whatsapp and not notice you've received a message as the (1) notification won't go away until you've clicked to read it.
Whys he on a dating website if he's still married? This whole thing is a train wreck waiting to happen. Find someone who is single and not attached to anyone in anyway.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 March 2018):
 If he is busy with a new business AND going through a divorce the time for dating might be off.
Or he might NOT really being going through the divorce YET. One thing is SAYING he is going through a divorce, another is ACTUALLY going through a divorce.
You meet someone on a dating site, they are still a stranger.
The problem with dating someone who is either separated or going through a divorce is that they are NOT legally single. While some might not care, you really should.
The whole IDEA behind a separation is for the married couple to TAKE the time to figure out if the marriage is worth salvaging or if divorce should be the next step. It's NOT the time to be dating around.
So IMHO don't date people who aren't DONE with their marriage and FULLY single and READY to date.
A couple of dates doesn't mean he is READY to commit to you. Nor does it mean you know the guy.
I think you need to slow your roll. The whole "we are so close".. no. You are not. You might feel comfortable around him but he IS a stranger still. There is not fire or hurry to try and make THIS a relationship.
When dating someone go slow, get to know them.
You have no idea what kind of drama he has in his life - do you know WHY he is divorcing? Are there kids? Do you know for a FACT that he IS divorcing? Or is it just his words? Does he live on his own? Is he financially stable? Is he REALLY looking for a long term relationship? Is this "radio silence" something new? Or will it be a pattern?
He has been on the chat app but NOT looked at your message or replied, so.. who else is he talking to? Maybe you are not the only woman he is "dating".
He might contact you again, if whomever he is talking to doesn't pan out.
I know that all sounds a bit negative, but you NEED to be a little more realistic and cautious.
If you already had sex with him, you might not hear from him again.
Go slow OP. And don't presume EVERY guy you go on a couple of dates with will work out and turn into a long term relationship.
Sorry, it might not be what you wanted to hear.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (5 March 2018):
 What are you waiting for? Drop him a message, asking "Everything ok?" There could be 101 reasons why he has not got in touch, ranging from personal to business. There is nothing to say you have to sit there and wait for him to get in touch. Perhaps he is testing to see if you are keen and will get back in touch? Who knows?
All I would advise is that you take it steady. If he is not yet divorced, there is nothing to say he and his wife won't decide to give their marriage another go. Even if they don't, it is very early days for him after the break up and you don't want to be a rebound relationship for him as that seldom ends well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2018): Maybe he's still married. If you haven't heard from him in 3 days and he's going through turbulence in his divorce proceedings; maybe this is your cue to bail-out!
My advice? RUN!!!
Nicabeth, you're a grown-woman. A guy in the middle of a divorce is a big red-flag! That spells drama! Ex-wife issues, and maybe an on-going custody-battle! He's starting-up a new business amidst divorcing his wife???
You're acting like he's already your boyfriend. You've never even met!
Calm-down, girlfriend! You're coming across as too desperate. A three-day communication-blackout is a sign a guy isn't that into you.
You're only talking and you already like him a lot? Wait a minute. What are you talking about? How much do you really know about him? Only what he has told you.
HE SHOULD HAVE SCARED YOU OFF!
Don't go jumping into this with both feet. You don't know enough to like or dislike him.
If someone didn't call me for three days, I'd assume they weren't interested. If they were tied-up in a divorce and trying to start a business; I would figure they don't really have time for dating. Probably not, he's probably just trolling the internet for hookups.
It's that, or his wife found-out he's been messaging some woman!
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