A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been on five dates with a guy. We slept together on three of the dates. We definitely fancied each other, but during date number four he said that his long term goal is to work away. I’ve been in a relationship in the past with someone who wanted to move away and it resulted in our relationship ending after three years. As soon as he said he wanted to move away I freaked out because I had flash backs of how miserable it made me feel with my ex always applying for jobs all over the country. That was on date 4. After date 4, I thought about it a lot and asked if we could meet up again. I thought maybe I was over reacting because of my past experiences and not giving him a fair chance. We had a perfect evening on date 5, and slept together again, but then the following morning, we stayed in bed til about 11am just chatting about life and how we are both attracted to each other but feel like we’re in quite deep because we’re both freaking out about different future plans. We decided to end it there, because, as he said, we want to make each other happy, not panic about what we’re potentially getting in to. I’m super sad that it’s all over, I feel like I’m over reacting for only having five dates. He said he’d love to remain friends, but that the next time we meet up should be in public so we can’t end up in bed. Haha. I’ve done the right thing haven’t I?
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male
reader, liddel  +, writes (20 February 2018):
Since you don't see yourself moving in the future, you have indeed done the right thing.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (18 February 2018):
 You aren't friends. You went on a few dates and had sex. That's not friendship - you're still strangers. It will likely be uncomfortable to become friends.
In future, it's unwise to have sex so early on, as it's incredibly likely you're either going to be used for sex or become attached too soon.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (18 February 2018):
 Yes you did the right thing.
However, I can't see friends working as you'll always have a sexual history hanging over things and it will be too easy to fall back into sleeping with each other and getting in even deeper.
Personally, I'd cut contact fully and find someone else that you have the same relationship criteria as.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (18 February 2018):
 Clever girl! Honesty is always the best policy. And you've both made a mature decision. I totally agree with the others on the 'friendship' - not a good idea. Keeps looking for what's going to make you happy.
Take care xx
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A
female
reader, ALM12 +, writes (18 February 2018):
 you did the right thing by ending things.. But please keep in mind its sort of hard to be friends with someone you slept with and are emotionally attached to..
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A
female
reader, Miss.Cupid +, writes (18 February 2018):
 If you feel like you just cannot be in that position again then you did the right thing. It may have only been the fifth date but you both know what you want and aren't settling for anything less. Thats how it should be. Why drag something when you know it will not work out. if you feel like you want to give it a chance then maybe you should? one bad experience from the past doesn't mean they're all bad.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2018): I think you did the right thing. You used common-sense and learned something from a past experience. You know what you want, and sex isn't all there is. You're learning that you can enjoy dating and short-term romance; but to keep your head about you; so you can think things out before jumping in with both feet.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 February 2018):
 Yes, I think not taking it further would be for the best and I agree with Aidan that maybe next time HOLD OFF on jumping into bed so fast.
I don't see the point in being friend either. He isn't your friend, he a guy you went on some dates with and had sex with... Not really a great way to start a FRIENDSHIP.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (17 February 2018):
You’ve done the right thing in recognising that you both want different things and that it isn’t going to work. It’s a pity for you that you both jumped in to bed so soon as you didn’t identify that you were compatible before you allowed things to progress. As for staying friends, why would you do that? You are clearly attracted to each other but aren’t going to work as a couple, so that’s only going to make you miserable. Go your separate ways.
I wish you all the very best.
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