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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Break up - No contact method or turn up at his house to get him back?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 4 months and officially been his girlfriend for 2 of those months. In a moment of stupidity and because I let my overthinking get the best of me I tweeted "I'm single". I would have never acted on those words and I even ...
A. 3 May 2018: He isn’t being stubborn at all.
YOU told the world you were single. Who cares if you didn’t mean it? You tweeted it for everyone to see and that’s how you BF found out he was ‘single’ also. I would of reacted in the exact same manner if my GF us... (read in full...)
I don't want to end it so I don't say anything.
Q. I've been seeing this boy for over a month, we're not official but we have agreed to not see anyone else. I think I might be the first girl he has ever been with which is fine but I am the one putting in all the effort. I am always the one to ...
A. 2 May 2018: I think you’re wasting your time to be honest.
If he wanted to see you and meet you he would be putting the effort in to make arrangements. Take note of people’s actions, ignore what they say as absolutely anything can come out of somebody... (read in full...)
Is it okay to delete from your life a parent (father, in my case) that has never cared for you?
Q. Long story short - my parents separated (my mother and I got kicked out of the house) and later on divorced when I was 1. My father never paid a dime of child support. Times were different and it was very hard for my mother to legally force him to ...
A. 2 May 2018: Absolutely.
I haven’t really had much of a relationship with my father. It was to no extent what you have described though. He left when I was around age 4, I’m now 26. Up until the age of about 8 he did try to make effort and see my brother,... (read in full...)
My marriage in in crisis because I've decided my wife is too skinny and her boobs aren't big enough.
Q. Hi everyone, Thank you so much for reading this. I am genuinely looking for advice regarding my marriage which is in a state of crisis right now. I will keep it as short as possible. TL;DR: I met my wife in an online relationship. We got marr...
A. 2 May 2018: How on earth do you think that would go down asking your wife to start taking estrogen supplements to gain weight? You’re right, that does sound terrible.
I’m trying to figure out why you married someone that you’re not attracted to? It’s har... (read in full...)
She sounded cold and short, should I ask her if she is married before I ask her for a date?
Q. Dear Cupid I would like your advice, I am a divorced man that tried to make it work with my wife but it didnt work..after so many years we seperated and divorced got finalized last year. I am ready to start dating and I found my first love on ...
A. 2 May 2018: I think if she was happy to receive your message you would of received a much warmer response.
I don’t think she’s interested.... (read in full...)
Why does my ex married lover want to fix things?
Q. I really don't know what to anymore about my situation. I left my married lover because it was the right thing to do and it was hurting me. We are both military (one outranks the other) so it complicates things in terms of actually having a ...
A. 1 May 2018: Because he wants sex on the side of his marriage again?
Is it really that hard to understand? You gave it him in the past and he wants it again. It’s not rocket science.
Block, delete and move on with your life. Want more for yourself.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to brush aside red flags?
Q. So almost 24 and have never dated or been approached or even remotely shown interest in by any guy. And that's fine. I've never really been into the idea of relationships and never felt like I needed to be in one to be happy. I'm very content in my ...
A. 30 April 2018: I have to agree, keep an eye.
If he’s willing to lose his temper with people where he could lose his job, then I’d be worried about how mad he could get in his personal time when there’s no one watching.
I’d try and find out more info or do ... (read in full...)
If I make him feel better why did he inbox his ex?
Q. Is my boyfriend being genuine about his feelings? The other day, my boyfriend was a little sick, not dying sick, but sick. I went to the hospital with him and he made a post on Facebook posting a picture of his hospital band and captioned it say...
A. 30 April 2018: I didn’t notice your name until the other aunts and uncles mentioned it.
I, along with many others have answered you in the past and you’ve ignored everything so I’ll be more blunt this time. Why would he stop messaging his ex when there’s ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend is now messaging my friend
Q. Dated my ex boyfriend for 6 months, and we admittedly rushed into things which was probably where we went wrong. We’ve been split up about a month now and he’s messaging my friend, but the girl herself hasn’t told me, one of our friends has. I’m...
A. 30 April 2018: Nothing you can do.
You guys are over but it makes you wonder is it time to think about who you class as friends? Someone who respected you more wouldn’t chat to your ex. ... (read in full...)
A choice between Craig and Tom
Q. I’ve been with Craig for over three years and I do love him, although I’ve never been sure he’s the one. He’s a great support among many other great attributes, however he has no drive and never will, he’s lazy, he doesn’t dress properly for work ...
A. 30 April 2018: You’re not in love with Craig, let’s be realistic here.
If you were there wouldn’t be another guy in the picture. You absolutely CANNOT cheat on someone you love. People say this all the time ‘I love him so much! It was a huge mistake’ when in ... (read in full...)
Married man damaging my reputation.
Q. Previous Post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-out-of-this-relationship-with-a.html About a month ago I ended an affair with a married man that I was having. We texted and called daily and we slept together on the weekend but I told it ...
A. 29 April 2018: He has already showed his crazy.
Posting a status unannounced a month after ending things is extremely bizarre. Turning up to your apartment without an invite is also extremely alarming. Even though you’ve told him it’s over I highly doubt th... (read in full...)
Is it fair to let past experiences influence tis relationship?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for about a month now and we started to talk about the future and what the relationship is and he tells me that last summer he was accused of raping his ex. At the time he was telling me with I had just had consensual sex w...
A. 28 April 2018: This is a tricky one.
Of course I understand you’re freaked out. There’s a few things that don’t sit right with me here:
1. Obviously it’s a scary situation to be involved with an accused rapist. Almost people would tell you to run a mile. But ... (read in full...)
We've split up,he wants me to move out.
Q. Hi Dear Cupid. I have been in a relationship for three and a half years and my partner split up with me once more and said we are done and that we can still be friends....does friends work? We still live together, are sleeping separately and ...
A. 28 April 2018: Nope, you need to stop all contact.
He can’t tell you it’s over then start inviting you out for dinner. You need to be strong here, tell him no as HE has ended things. Any further contact is just clouding your thoughts and unfair. It’s effectiv... (read in full...)
Why the mixed signals?
Q. Me and this guy have been casually seeing each other for a year; he would come over from nights out etc and we would just cuddle and kiss and act romantic even though we were not together. We got close in the sense that he started to trust me and we ...
A. 28 April 2018: Wasting your time.
If you’ve been casually seeing someone for a year and it’s not developed into anything more it never will do. Seems like he’s using you for sex but doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
Leave him be, what’s the point in arg... (read in full...)
I have feelings for a man 20 years my senior
Q. I have this weird question I'm hoping someone can help me with, I have romantic/sexual feelings for a much older man and I've recently told him this. What I want help is should I roll with it or try to move on? He's an old friend of the family and I ...
A. 28 April 2018: You don’t want to make things awakward whilst suggesting something that would make things extremely awkward. See how silly that sounds?
What would your parents think if they found out? Your brothers or sisters? His family? His wife?? Kids??
... (read in full...)
My confidence is shot, I know I'm better off but I want him to realise it.
Q. My ex of 8 years dumped me 4 months ago, he was and still is an alcoholic and takes heroin and crack and blues and pregabs plus antidepressants ( bought of the streets) I tried helping him and loved him so much , in the past year before the break up ...
A. 28 April 2018: Why do you want answers?
You should be doing cartwheels that you’re free from a cheating alcoholic junkie. What would getting answers out of him achieve? The guy is an absolute low life and not worth wasting another second of your time on.
S... (read in full...)
Should I gave up or wait more time to approach my ex
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend one month ago, the reason of the break up was an accumulation of many reasons and things he did. He is 25 and I am 35 years, we had up and down relationship , with great moments and bad moments. I give him a lot, I r...
A. 28 April 2018: Yes, leave him alone!
It couldn’t be more clear that he doesn’t want any interaction from you. A dating consultant? What the hell is that? I hope you didn’t pay for that service because it’s a load of garbage.
I’m struggling to see how breaking... (read in full...)
We've split up,he wants me to move out.
Q. Hi Dear Cupid. I have been in a relationship for three and a half years and my partner split up with me once more and said we are done and that we can still be friends....does friends work? We still live together, are sleeping separately and ...
A. 27 April 2018: Move out ASAP.
You’re only prolonging your healing by staying. He has clearly told you it’s over and in no uncertain terms does it sound like he’s confused about how he feels. It’s shitty, but the sooner you’re apart, the sooner you can begin mo... (read in full...)
Married man damaging my reputation.
Q. Previous Post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-out-of-this-relationship-with-a.html About a month ago I ended an affair with a married man that I was having. We texted and called daily and we slept together on the weekend but I told it ...
A. 27 April 2018: Wow, what an absolute asshole.
Dragging you to the bottom with him. I think it’s safe to say you’ve learnt your lesson the hard way here and I don’t think there’s any danger of you doing something like this again.
Unfortunately there’s not much... (read in full...)
I want out of this relationship with a married man but he is making it difficult.
Q. In September I moved to a new area for work, shortly after I started my job i had a coworker that started flirting with me. He is really cute and sweet only problem is he is married. He like me moved to the area for work, his family is actually four ...
A. 25 April 2018: Plain and simple the guy is a piece of shit. Cheating on his wife and betraying his family.
You can put a stop to this now, forget your feelings, that is not important right now, nothing will come of this. If he wanted to be with you he would of... (read in full...)
We are both too shy to say hi to each other?
Q. There's this guy that I like and I know he likes me back because he always walks past me and a bunch of other signs over afew weeks, explaining these will defeat the purpose of the question. The main question is we are both too shy to talk to each ...
A. 25 April 2018: How do you know he likes you?
All you’re doing is walking past each other. It’s simple, you either speak to him or someone else will do and you’ve missed your chance.
... (read in full...)
I want out of this relationship with a married man but he is making it difficult.
Q. In September I moved to a new area for work, shortly after I started my job i had a coworker that started flirting with me. He is really cute and sweet only problem is he is married. He like me moved to the area for work, his family is actually four ...
A. 25 April 2018: Why would you ever consider doing that?
Destroying an innocent woman’s life because YOU can’t control yourself? Get a grip woman. It really is not hard to drop someone from your life, the only way it’s not possible is when some DOESNT WANT TO.... (read in full...)
Their Grandma wont drop the subject, what do I do?
Q. A few years ago, my sister-in-law's grandmother and her boyfriend went to Alaska on a vacation (the boyfriend is now decease). We talked about Alaska and I mentioned to her that Alaska is my dream vacation. I did my research and realize how much...
A. 25 April 2018: Just be honest.
I’m not sure why you wouldn’t of been in the first place. That would end the topic for good. ... (read in full...)
What should a person do .....
Q. What should a person do if they are falling for someone, and that person tells them they have a certain type a woman they like, and it's not you, and they don't have time but maybe one day a week, they are to busy to see you more then that, you live ...
A. 23 April 2018: What should you do? Take the hint.
He’s not interested.... (read in full...)
Did she sell the phone I gave her? I regret how our interactions ended!
Q. I am an Expatriate aged 39 and good looking working in a rather 3rd world country with good financial. I met a girl in a family friendly bar. After few visits at the bar, i took a liking to her as she was unlike the rest that goes around flirting ...
A. 21 April 2018: I have to agree.
You need to leave this girl alone. You can’t even communicate properly so how can you be in love with her? She has made it extremely clear that she’s not interested in you romantically and you keep trying your luck.
Accept ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is all about himself during sex, but never about me.
Q. Hello, I was hoping I could ask for some help regarding my sex life. I have a wonderful 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. Genuinely feel like I've found the one for me, I think he's amazing. However, he's the first person I've slept with...
A. 19 April 2018: The only way to get through this is communication.
I’ll start by saying it’s a perfectly valid reason to break up with someone due to poor sex. A relationship shouldn’t be based solely around that, but I think it would be a huge struggle to put u... (read in full...)
I have an ex that wont let go.
Q. Me and my ex girlfriend split up 4, maybe even closer to 5 years ago. In the end, she got quite nasty and I ended up blocking her on Facebook. Fast forward a few years and I get a message request from a previously deactivated account of hers,...
A. 19 April 2018: Block her, simple.
I never understand the whole cyber bullying/harassment issue. Press the block button and they’re gone. ... (read in full...)
A guy I was seeing went quiet on me, he says he is following legal advise.
Q. Im just wondering what are peoples thoughts. I was seeing a guy who went quiet on me we had been seeing each other for 6 month. i heard from him a handful of times in 2 month and didnt get to see him . I didnt sit about waiting for him i got on with ...
A. 19 April 2018: Why does it matter?
He’s clearly messing around. If he wanted to see you why couldn’t he send one message saying ‘Hey let’s meet at x at 7?’ You know why? Because he’s not interested in doing so.
Do as all the other aunts have said and block h... (read in full...)
How do I handle my girlfriends past?
Q. I would like to start out by saying that I consider myself very open minded. I am divorced from a 6 year marriage and am on good terms with. I have even made good friends with my ex-wife’s boyfriend and we hang out occasionally. My current ...
A. 17 April 2018: Therapy.
I really don’t think you’ll get over this by trying to train your brain to think a different way. I’ve seen tons of questions like this on this site and said the same thing every time. I think you need to speak to someone who can ask the ... (read in full...)
He compliments others and insults me.
Q. My partner of many years verbally attacked me for the things I do to 'beautify' myself such as have hair nails and skin appointments etc done . I have never had cosmetic surgery and am not going to. He says I'm insecure and he wants someone who is ...
A. 16 April 2018: Why are you still with him?
He sounds like an asshole and marrying him won’t make things any better. You’re wasting your time with someone dragging you down when you could be spending it with someone who has nothing but positivity to be spread. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend left, I want to fix it but she is ignoring me.
Q. My girlfriend of 12 years has just left me. For the last 4 years we've lived together in our own place after a spell living with her family, we moved in shortly after my father passed away. I really struggled to deal with my father's passing...
A. 16 April 2018: It’s over, you have lost her.
You need to accept this, you have had 12 years to make her feel special and to want nothing but you and you have by your own admission mistreated her. Everyone has a breaking point no matter how much they love the... (read in full...)
How do I accept that he doesn't want to be my friend?
Q. I started speaking to this guy 'M' online around 3-4 years ago. Our conversations were very fluctuating, and never particularly in depth but I really like and admire M as a person. We get on great, have so many similar interests, and for a while I ...
A. 14 April 2018: Do you think this is what a friendship is about? Wondering whether someone likes you or not?
You have messaged the guy and he’s not responding. What else can you do? Just leave it, if he wanted to speak to you he would do. Messaging people w... (read in full...)
What does this married man mean when he says he finds me physically attractive?
Q. I've met this guy at work. He is married. We have a lot of things in common.He is a very private man. He doesn't talk much to anybody until I started working there. He said he likes me and enjoy being his friend. He is always careful about what he ...
A. 14 April 2018: You know exactly what this means.
How could this possibly have a double meaning?
This talk is inappropriate. You’re in the Work place and he’s married. Nip this in the bud immediately.... (read in full...)
My online guy has been professing his love for me but I've found out he has a girlfriend!
Q. Basically I've been with a guy for 8 months and we're long distance (he's also from a different country than mine we just met in the summer) . It was his choice for us to stay together although we are far from each other and we always skype and keep ...
A. 14 April 2018: Block him.
He’s online, he’s from a different country - It’s really not that hard.
He’s shown his true colours, so let him get on with his life.... (read in full...)
My husband wants to hide me from the girl he wants a baby with
Q. i have been married for 4 years, i had to remove my womb due to medical conditions. my husband and i agreed on the operation. now he wants a baby so i said to him he must get someone very far and i dont want to be affected by it. he now got someone ...
A. 12 April 2018: Let me get this right.
Your husband wants a baby so he’s going to get a random woman pregnant and keep you secret from her and her secret from you? Then when the baby comes what happens? I really don’t understand. He lives a life with this wom... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair wih my fiance's best friend.
Q. I’m engaged due to be married September, I’ve started having an affair with one of his best friends. Now I don’t know whether I love his best friend. He’s asked me to not get married. My fiancé is a good man great father and stable. His frien...
A. 12 April 2018: You clearly don’t love your fiance so I’m not sure why you’re considering marrying him. The only logical thing to do here is break things off and allow the man to find someone that respects him and that he can trust, you’re not that person.
The b... (read in full...)
Is the size of the take out he brought home a sign he is becoming cheap?
Q. After dating selfish cheap guys, I'm pretty gun shy. My bf has always been generous w/me and we do pay for each other pretty often. Today he went out to eat and I couldn't make it, so I asked him to bring me some soup. I'm not one to eat a lot, but ...
A. 4 April 2018: You asked for food and you got it. I really think you're making a mountain out of a molehill here.
Ease of convinience? Were you expecting him to walk through the door with a three course meal? Tell us more as this can't possibly of been instigat... (read in full...)
Is the size of the take out he brought home a sign he is becoming cheap?
Q. After dating selfish cheap guys, I'm pretty gun shy. My bf has always been generous w/me and we do pay for each other pretty often. Today he went out to eat and I couldn't make it, so I asked him to bring me some soup. I'm not one to eat a lot, but ...
A. 3 April 2018: I think I'd keep an eye on it rather than judging off something like this. Maybe that's all that was on offer on the place he went to? He knows you don't eat a lot so why would he buy a lot? Nobody wants to waste food and money and it would be silly ... (read in full...)
My ex is coming back into my life when I have a new partner!
Q. I need some advice, 4 years ago I started dating my best friend, we were together for about 8 months and it was perfect! However I made mistakes in the relationship such as being too close to her and so i drove her away and didnt handle the brea...
A. 2 April 2018: Why would her friend contact you? That's extremely odd. You hadn't spoke in 3.5 years but suddenly you're the one she needs to speak to? Something is fishy here.
If you're completely stuck then why don't you ask your gf what to do? I'm sure she... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 2 April 2018: Don't let him back in, you know he's a scumbag. You'll be the one who's upset if you do. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his brother says him and I had sex
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now whom I love dearly. I’m 28 and he’s a year older. We live together. So my boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his pathological liar of a younger brother said that we slept togethe...
A. 26 March 2018: This is laughable.
I'd end things immediately and tell them both never to contact you again. Does he think this is jerry springer? What a pair of oddballs.... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 25 March 2018: You are not in love.
This guy is cheating on his GF with you. YOU are a piece on the side. He is having sex with 2 girls, one of them he shows off as his GF and the other is you, who I doubt anyone knows about.
He treats you sweet? Of course... (read in full...)
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