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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 2 April 2018: Don't let him back in, you know he's a scumbag. You'll be the one who's upset if you do. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his brother says him and I had sex
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now whom I love dearly. I’m 28 and he’s a year older. We live together. So my boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his pathological liar of a younger brother said that we slept togethe...
A. 26 March 2018: This is laughable.
I'd end things immediately and tell them both never to contact you again. Does he think this is jerry springer? What a pair of oddballs.... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 25 March 2018: You are not in love.
This guy is cheating on his GF with you. YOU are a piece on the side. He is having sex with 2 girls, one of them he shows off as his GF and the other is you, who I doubt anyone knows about.
He treats you sweet? Of course... (read in full...)
Am I crazy for wanting to blow up my marriage and the last 20 years for my first love from 30 years ago?
Q. I arrived at this site searching on line for "I'm still in love with my boyfriend from 30 years ago", (sigh). I read a really good post, similar to my issue, but in many other ways not similar. My college BF - we will call him "T" - definitely my ...
A. 25 March 2018: Wiseowl is right. This is a classic case of the grass isn't always greener. It just seems like it is because your marriage has fallen on hard times.
This situation really reminded me of a TV series that I'm currently watching caled power. Where th... (read in full...)
My love life is just a big mess.
Q. My girlfriend and I were dating for just over a year and we were so happy together, but the last few months of us dating were just filled with arguments. Those arguments were mainly about her parents as they are extremely controlling and they were ...
A. 24 March 2018: I have to agree with wise owl.
I don't see how getting back together will change anything. You are a prime example of an on/off relationship. I'm not really sure how you think what you have is healthy and that it's meant to work out. It's pos... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair and now I can't sleep with him
Q. MOD NOTE: two questions combined into one Hi everyone. I've been married for nearly 6 years. We have a three year old son. Last year my husband and I had some issues where I focussed too much on one my hobbies and spent less time with him. He t...
A. 23 March 2018: There's absolutely no way back from this.
I don't think any amount therapy or advice could make you let a man who makes your toes curl back into your life and easily show love and affection to him.
You don't love him or trust him and you neve... (read in full...)
I can't make sense of her behavior and it's killing me!
Q. I'm in a really bad place after a breakup and I need some help. What started off as friends with benefits close to 3 years ago eventually turned into a relationship about 9 months ago. It has been plagued with some issues here and there that h...
A. 23 March 2018: Look, it's obvious that this girl has LOTS of issues. To be quite frank it sounds like she's had a shitty life full of abuse and disappointment so it is not surprising at all that she finds it hard to let people in and decide who is trustworthy and ... (read in full...)
I like travel, he likes fast food and designer luxury products! Is there room for compromise?
Q. I love to travel and see the world. I love experiencing different cultures and tasting different foods. I'm not a fan of designer luxury products, I just like to travel. My boyfriend doesn't like traveling or seeing the world. He can eat McDonald...
A. 23 March 2018: I don't think there is to be honest, you both have completely different things you want out of life.
I think at your age its very rare that people change how they act and what they want to do. You've been around for 26years(+) and you like wha... (read in full...)
I don’t want to hurt this new man, and I also don’t want to wind up in a controlling relationship! Advice please!
Q. Hello, so I have two questions, both are related. First a bit of background, I was in a relationship with (and married to) a man who ended up being a narcissist and was abusive. (verbally, mentally, sometimes physically) We were together 7 and half...
A. 23 March 2018: I think you're heading down a dangerous path.
It's good that you've spotted this early on and you already know the warning signs to look out for. This is quite staggering how he''s come to such a conclusion from such little evidence which to me su... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend is too promiscuous to me. Break up?
Q. Dating for a few months I'm 30 she's 22, yesterday I found out a lot of pictures of her with her ex on her facebook from a few years ago. I asked her why she keeps them and she said she forgot to delete and that doesn't make any sense since they're ...
A. 22 March 2018: Yeah I do see a red flag.
Your obsessive behaviour. She can do as she damn well pleases to be quite frank and there's nothing you can do about it. Why should she change that stuff for you online? It's part of her past, before she even knew you... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed, every guy I like my best friend gets!
Q. Why do I feel so pointless? How come no guy ever likes me? So these questions started to arise after this guy who I liked who I told many time asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no and asked why do you care and he said I’m jw I don’t like u ...
A. 22 March 2018: Can you give me one good reason why you want this guy back?
Im sorry but you must be desperate to want to pursue a guy like that who can disrespect you like that to your face.
If someone spoke to me like that they would be out of my life f... (read in full...)
With all the blocking and unblocking on social media, I don't even know what to expect anymore
Q. So I've been seeing a guy for about three months now. The relationship was wonderful. We were both falling in love and had so much fun together. We met each other's friends and family and seen each other just about every day. A week ago we got into ...
A. 22 March 2018: Waste of time.
If this is how it's going after only a few months it won't get any better.... (read in full...)
My ex has said sorry after many years, but I want her to apologise for more!
Q. My ex apologised in a MSG many years after we broke up but all she said was sorry things were said. A lot more than things were said and I'm not an emotional person. She went out of her way to get to me on numerous occasions because I wasn't b...
A. 20 March 2018: Accept the apology and move on.
Going back over everything in the hope to hear more apologies won't change anything so what's the point?
Just leave it as it is and keep moving forwards.... (read in full...)
I’ve messed up the relationship with my siblings and am heartbroken. Is there any solution?
Q. My heart is breaking. I feel so left out in my family and so envious of the closeness between my brother, sister in law, sister and bro in law. I’m the oldest, bro and sis younger, bro 3 yrs younger, sis 8 yrs younger. Both are married,...
A. 19 March 2018: I don't see anything wrong with messaging them both and telling them exactly how you feel and saying what you've just told us.
Apologise for being distant and tell them that you want to become closer to them and improve relations. I don't think yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is telling another girl she should marry him.
Q. Hi my boyfriend is deployed for 7 months in Latvia. I felt like he seems distant. I opened his Facebook I saw that he’s messaging one girl, he was telling the girl that he will send a letter to her and by the time that girl is 30 she should marry ...
A. 19 March 2018: Surely you know that you should dump him?
What could you possibly want to salvage here? He's openly discussing wanting to marry another woman.
You should he with someone you don't need to check up on.... (read in full...)
I want more from my friend who is also my FWB
Q. I'll get straight to the point. My best friend and I (I'm female, he's male) have a 'friends with benefits' kind of thing going on. We are intimate, sometimes affectionate, but never romantic. We have never dated, but despite clearly not being a ...
A. 19 March 2018: You need to get this out of your head, you WILL NOT get together. If you were meant to be together you would be by now.
You have given him sex with no commitment, he has no reason to want anymore from you. Guys usually make the first move and if h... (read in full...)
A co worker hates me and I want to quit.
Q. a co worker who liked me originally, now hates me as I became friends with another co worker at work. she has stopped talking to me and just scowls me and swears under her breath if I go near her and try to talk to her or I give her an order to ...
A. 18 March 2018: What did you say to them? And what did they reply?
I think if it's directly affecting your work performance then surely they must be able to do something.... (read in full...)
Do you consider girl on girl action cheating?
Q. I am in a relationship for almost 3 years now. My boyfriend is out of the country most of the time. We are apart for months. I love him and I have never had sex wit another man nor have I ever kissed someone else. I haven't even flirted with another ...
A. 18 March 2018: Of course it's cheating.
Any kind of intimacy with anyone outside your relaionship is cheating, how can you not think it is?
You need to own up to what you have done and let your BF decide whether he wants to stay with you or not.... (read in full...)
I missed an opportunity with him that I will never get again.
Q. About 2 months ago I felt an instant attraction towards someone at my local gym and I know he felt the same way because we were literally staring at each other longer than necessary. Anyway I screwed up because he said hi to me one time and I ...
A. 17 March 2018: Emotionally taxing? Seriously?
From what youve described you're looking at each other in the gym.
Just SPEAK to him, you're an adult. This sounds like a child's post.... (read in full...)
I feel I have met the right person at the wrong time ... and he is lying to his girlfriend!
Q. I’ve known of this guy for about a year but I never knew his name I just knew him as we had mutual friends. I will add at this point that I had (and still have) a massive crush on him. I saw him whilst I was out clubbing at the start of this year ...
A. 17 March 2018: It couldn't be a bigger red flag.
He is an absolute lying, deceiving sleazebag and the lengths he's going to to hide his interactions with you is frightening and shows he lacks a clear respect and boundary for his relationship.
If he cared a... (read in full...)
He has broken my trust and lied to me so many times and I love him to bits!
Q. My partner and i have been together for 2 years in April i am pregnant with his child but he constantly checks out other women i have looked on his phone history and he has been on porn sites i confronted him about it he swears blind he didn't do ...
A. 17 March 2018: It's impossible for neither of you to get hurt. Of course you will, it's a 100% guarantee. What's worse though? Bring upset for a few months over breaking up with someone who's not right for you in hopes of finding the ideal partner? Or spending ... (read in full...)
Did my wife believe me about the dinner receipt?
Q. Hi. I am a married man having an affair. My wife went out of town to her mother's for two weeks and I spent that time with my mistress. Last night my wife found a receipt of dinner for 2 when my mistress and I went to a restaurant the day her flig...
A. 17 March 2018: Hopefully she does know and she's getting all kinds of evidence to divorce you and take you to the cleaners.
Your update makes you sound like a complete narcissistic dick. I hope all this comes back to bite you in the ass.... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about what I saw on his phone?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now and even have a baby together. I have really bad trust issues with him since I caught him lying about looking at porn and one night hook ups. Recently I looked on his phone and seen that he ...
A. 17 March 2018: Okay so, this guy has cheated?
Im more worried about the fact you're still with him when he's disrespected your relationship in the biggest way possible, yet you're more bothered about him looking at artificial vaginas.
I think you need to get ... (read in full...)
He has broken my trust and lied to me so many times and I love him to bits!
Q. My partner and i have been together for 2 years in April i am pregnant with his child but he constantly checks out other women i have looked on his phone history and he has been on porn sites i confronted him about it he swears blind he didn't do ...
A. 17 March 2018: What do you do?
Either deal with his behaviour or leave him. You can't keep bringing the same thing up over and over as it's clearly not changing things. Just because you're due to have a child together doesnt mean you have to stay together... (read in full...)
Which of these potential partners is my best match?
Q. Ok, So this is going to be kind of lengthy so bear with me... So to start off I've been single for a long time, 6 years to be exact. Recently I've decided to get back out in the dating pool and see what happens. Oddly enough, I've met a coupl...
A. 16 March 2018: I don't think any of these guys are right for you. You shouldn't have to choose between multiple options which is the 'best of the bunch'.
If you don't naturally want to be with someone without having to think deeply into it then they're not for ... (read in full...)
How do approach him about what I heard?
Q. Hi everyone my boyfriend of 4 years pocket dialled me yesterday while he was at work I overheard him and his mate on about some woman who was fit and my fiancé says I didn’t notice surprisingly we have had trust issues in the past due to his roving ...
A. 16 March 2018: Accidentally hit send before finishing my answer....oops
I don't understand where you're coming from here. Your fiance ignored a work mate commenting on a females attractiveness.
What exactly are you planning to say? 'I heard you on the phone... (read in full...)
How do approach him about what I heard?
Q. Hi everyone my boyfriend of 4 years pocket dialled me yesterday while he was at work I overheard him and his mate on about some woman who was fit and my fiancé says I didn’t notice surprisingly we have had trust issues in the past due to his roving ...
A. 16 March 2018: I don't understand where you're coming from here. Your fiance ignored a work mate commenting on a females attractiveness.
What exactly are you planning to say? 'I heard you on the phone say you didn't know that attractive ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong if I just dumped the guy assuming it's not growing properly?
Q. Thank you for reading. I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost three months now. When things are going good they're great. He's affectionate, we have a good time together, date nights, good conversation etc. But we've had our first disagreements as ...
A. 16 March 2018: If this is how you feel during the 'honeymoon period' I'd say you're wasting your time.
I do however think it's way too soon to be 'in love'. 3 months is nothing, you barely know each other so how can you be in love? You're debating breaking... (read in full...)
A co worker hates me and I want to quit.
Q. a co worker who liked me originally, now hates me as I became friends with another co worker at work. she has stopped talking to me and just scowls me and swears under her breath if I go near her and try to talk to her or I give her an order to ...
A. 15 March 2018: I have a strong feeling that the situation will be resolved if management are involved.
I'd make a note of whenever she does something that makes your job hard work. If you're acting in a completely professional manner trying to work as normal a... (read in full...)
I had to test his loyalty but now he won’t talk to me!
Q. okay, so today i had the idea of making a fake snapchat account and adding and texting my boyfriend as another girl while simultaneously texting as the real me on my real snapchat...(i had two devices). he added the fake one and and asked who is it ...
A. 15 March 2018: What a ridiculous idea.
I'd say good on him for dumping you. You don't TEST anyone's loyalty, EVER. You trust them not to let them down until THEY prove they don't deserve that trust. You will tell him 'I was just seeing if I could trust you'. Di... (read in full...)
A co worker hates me and I want to quit.
Q. a co worker who liked me originally, now hates me as I became friends with another co worker at work. she has stopped talking to me and just scowls me and swears under her breath if I go near her and try to talk to her or I give her an order to ...
A. 14 March 2018: Let her act like a child.
This isn't school, it's a workplace so all you have to do is act professional and stick to work talk. If she is making your job difficult, then I would get management involved. I would not even be considering quitting... (read in full...)
Is this girl too good to be true?
Q. I’d like some advice on what to do. I’m on faceparty which is a social media thing. where you make friends, have dates and maybe have a relationship with someone special. messaged a female who caught my eye on there, things were going great until ...
A. 13 March 2018: Why would you continue trying to speak to someone who has blocked you? Surely you are aware that it means they don't want any fuether communication with you?
It doesn't matter whether she is real or not, the contact has ended. Anything further ... (read in full...)
I always recognise my boyfriend's birthdays but he never recognises mine.
Q. Hello, I'm currently in a one year long distance relationship. Though I saw him a month ago for two weeks. I bought him gifts and paid for most of our lunches or dinners together. He didn't get me a gift or paid for lunch or dinner. I know I ...
A. 13 March 2018: You're wasting your time.
He's not interested and he's taking you for a ride. You pull out all the stops for him and all he does is let you down on promises. Why be in a relationship with someone you can't see when they don't even care?
Find so... (read in full...)
I pushed him away, do I still have a chance?
Q. I met a really great guy in January but pushed him away with my insecurities. We live 2 hours apart but he always called/texted/facetimed me first. Two weeks into us getting to know each other I saw that some girl commented on a Facebook picture. He ...
A. 11 March 2018: Why would you think this is acceptable behaviour? Looking through his past regarding previous relationships is odd. You've blown it with this guy, use it as a learning experience to NOT do this again.
You're exhibiting controlling and possessi... (read in full...)
Breaking up and getting back together after you have been with someone else
Q. Hello aunts I wanted to come in here and get peoples opinions on breakups and makeups. I was in a long term relationship and once we broke up - I couldn’t go back to what it was (there was a reason we broke up) I see couples getting married ...
A. 10 March 2018: You said yourself, you break up for a reason and that reason will ALWAYS be there.
Why can't you find another person out of the billions out there that you have no history with and won't have issues that you class as deal breakers? ... (read in full...)
I like him but can't take the disresect anymore.
Q. Hi. I met a guy recently and we stared talking online . He said he is looking for something serious with me and is not here to waste time. At first I tried to invest my time in him by answering his calls in the morning and at night which ruined my ...
A. 9 March 2018: This guy clearly has some issues he needs to work on if that's how he finds it acceptable to speak to his romantic interests.
Id of ran for the hills the first time this kind of behaviour come out into the light. You're not compatible, it's as ... (read in full...)
He's acting as if I don't exist.
Q. Should I try to make this work? Me and my boyfriend took a little break from each other because of him constantly keeping in touch with his ex that he got out of a relationship with because of me a few months ago. We worked it out and things were ...
A. 9 March 2018: Okay so this is your second question now about the same guy.
You seemed to have taken all the comments on board on the last post after your update but have clearly decided to ignore them.
So basically, you're hoping your BF will magically c... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is unemotional and giving me the silent treatment!
Q. Dear Cupid I'm living with my bf of 3 years , and he is nice most of the times, but he is very unemotional and practical and had not told me he loves me yet, though I said couple of times and no response So I got pregnant , we both agreed it...
A. 8 March 2018: Why are you bothering?
What could you possibly love about this emotionless robot? He isn't going to change so you are wasting your time.
You've wasted 3 years that could of been spent with someone that's head over heels in love with you.... (read in full...)
Did I dodge a bullet?
Q. Hi everyone I guess i'm just looking for some encouragement or advice. I met a girl at the end of last year and I liked her a lot from the start. We grew closer and would talk often. Then I had to go abroad with university for 3 weeks and once ...
A. 8 March 2018: 100%
If she thinks she would come above a family problem of that kind then she's deluded.
I think her reactions tell you all there is to know. Very childish behaviour like she's spitting her dummy out because she's not getting what she wants. ... (read in full...)
He pursued me and now I’m in love with him, but he has a girlfriend. Do I tell him how I feel?
Q. Please don’t judge me too much for writing this.. but I’d really appreciate some advice. This guy works in a different department in my office.. we knew each other vaguely for 2 years and and he started messaging me randomly around 6 months ...
A. 6 March 2018: Does it 'sound' like he's messing you around?
He IS messing you around. Very clearly also.
The guy has a GF, what about this makes you think this is a good idea? Or that he's a good guy? He has cheated on his GF with you on multiple occasio... (read in full...)
Moving things forward from social media is he into me or just being nice?
Q. So I followed this guy on Instagram and he instantly followed me back. Our first chat was about the snow in uk then he invited me to gym with him but I said let’s take a rain check and rearrange We’ve had flirty banter I asked him his birthday...
A. 6 March 2018: Ask him out for a drink?
There's not much else you can do. If he accepts then it's likely he's interested. If not, then you can move onto someone else.... (read in full...)
The guy with the reputation treats me differently to everybody else, my friends don't trust him.
Q. I have a crush on this guy. He's known for being a playboy, so i'm not sure it he has feelings for me or if he's just flirting by accident. However, he's even acting different towards me than he was acting towards the other girls he's hit on. He's ...
A. 5 March 2018: Correction:
'To get what you want' should read 'to get what they want'... (read in full...)
The guy with the reputation treats me differently to everybody else, my friends don't trust him.
Q. I have a crush on this guy. He's known for being a playboy, so i'm not sure it he has feelings for me or if he's just flirting by accident. However, he's even acting different towards me than he was acting towards the other girls he's hit on. He's ...
A. 5 March 2018: Because he isn't trying to get into your friends underwear.
When people have that kind of reputation it's there for a reason. They know how to treat girls to get what you want and he will of done what he's doing to you to many other girls in... (read in full...)
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