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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Are my friends right? IS he playing me?
Q. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone type of thing. In high school there was a guy Taylor, he was a TOTAL player, he slept with pretty much every girl in our high school and then usually dumped them and told his friends about it. 3 ...
A. 20 October 2010: He may have changed, he may be different, he may be genuine... that's what every girl he ever played probably thought about him too... before they were played.
Be wary. ... (read in full...)
Life doesn't feel normal any more...
Q. I'm a 20 year old guy and i'm having problems with my health, i've been feeling sick ever since last year october after when i slept with dis other girl and the rubber broke, i did hiv testing at 3,6,9 and 12 months and they all came bck negative, ...
A. 20 October 2010: Hmm... I'd keep switching doctors until you find one that figures your problem out. Not really much else you can do.
Get better soon aye.... (read in full...)
Is the volume or distance of a man's ejaculation important?
Q. I was hanging out with a friend over the weekend and somehow after a few beers the topic of sex came up (small wonder among men drinking beer, right). He said since he turned 40, the force and volume of his ejaculations has gone down. He said his ...
A. 20 October 2010: Well I'm no doctor, but semen is a combination of sperm plus fluid that the prostate adds. Maybe its less about sperm content and just the prostate fluids that aren't coming out in full force? Time for your mate to get a prostate exam perhaps?
... (read in full...)
Is he gay, or does he just have intimacy problems?
Q. I think my boyfriend is a closet gay, or else he has big intimacy issues. I'm hoping someone here can tell me which is more likely. I think he may be gay for the usual reasons, i.e. that he is obsessed with decorating, loves shopping, and he...
A. 20 October 2010: I highly doubt that he's a closet gay from what you've written. Effeminate or metro-sexual sure, but not gay. There could be a million different reasons to explain his behavior... How long have you been together? ... (read in full...)
I have herpes and feel like scum!
Q. Can someone help? I'm really anxious, upset, stressed out, and depressed. A couple months ago I met someone. I have herpes. He is a really special, kind wonderful guy. Unfortunately I let things get a little too far before I told him (mutual ...
A. 20 October 2010: At the time you didn't know that herpes could be spread by mutual touching/masturbation/kissing so you didn't think you were putting him at risk. It was a mistake... mistakes happen, so try not to be so hard on yourself.
If he can't forgive ... (read in full...)
Is he in denial?
Q. My boyfriend of five months has a really colourful past which I find so difficult to deal with in the context of a relationship. He has had sex with men numerous times, in ridiculous situations - a gay cinema in which they show pornography and a gay ...
A. 20 October 2010: Why exactly are you still with him?? He's clearly gay. ... (read in full...)
Trying to make a change!
Q. When the questions are coming into your head, and they're destined to be answered. Maybe a young shy girl who may have had a bit of reality, can try to give you a helpful hypothesis. So why does our planet revolve around the center of Drugs, Crime, ...
A. 19 October 2010: I think it’s fair to assume that the views that you have right now are constructed largely from news broadcasts, school and parent teachings rather than first-hand experience. Its reality sure, but it’s a very controlled reality, very black and ... (read in full...)
Why didn't boyfriend cum?
Q. I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time last night, and he didn't cum/finish. i was doing it for about 10-15 minutes and i didn't really feel like i was getting anywhere so i stopped. except i did a lot of like "research" online before we...
A. 18 October 2010: Not every guy can cum from a bj... ... (read in full...)
Is telling him the right thing to do...?
Q. There is a guy I have liked for a long time. A few years ago, someone told him without my permission, and he didn't feel the same way. Things became awkward and we lost our friendship. Recently, we've rebuilt our friendship, and he's started ...
A. 18 October 2010: Not if he's been told before- no..... (read in full...)
Living with very obsessive much older man & scared to go on a secret free weeked trip with my ex
Q. I'm in urgent need of 100% honest advice. I don't have much time so this is why I'm reaching out. Just for the sake of imagination I'm blond, female in mid 30s slim build, cute, look much younger than I am. Here's my situation.. I've been living ...
A. 15 October 2010: Break up with him, go on the trip, get a job...
Don't stay with him just for your own financial benefits- it ain't that hard to get a job.
Don't cheat on him- if he "goes into a mood when you aren't in the room" and he likes to be the "detectiv... (read in full...)
Should I dump the girl I love to go for a hotter girl?
Q. Hi I am currently in a relationship with someone I love. My friends say she is gross and ugly. A "hotter" girl likes me but I don't like her. Should I dump my current gf and go for the other one?...
A. 15 October 2010: No dummy. You shouldn't.... (read in full...)
Is my ex thinking of getting back with me later on...maybe?
Q. my bf broke up with me about 1 1/2 months ago, we talked here and there since then because I had hard time letting go. Few days ago we talked again, his phone kept dying and he was acting kind of unusual because he was trying hard to call me back a ...
A. 14 October 2010: "He tells me we could only be friends"
Seems pretty self-explanatory to me...... (read in full...)
I have lost my fiancé because I got distracted. I don't want to loose him. Please help!!!!
Q. I am living in with my boy friend since last 4 years. Last year we got engaged. When we met each other 4 years ago, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We were into each other. At that time we were international students. Money was bit ...
A. 13 October 2010: Why do you keep saying that you just got "distracted"?
You tried to cheat- plain and simple. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop overthinking things?
Q. Hi, i'm 23 and ever since i can remember i've always been a person who over thinks things. e.g. I always used to be paranoid about what other people thought about me, what i looked like, how i talked etc... Now that i'm older that has kind of faded ...
A. 13 October 2010: Every exercises that anyone suggests on overthinking and being more positive seem so simple, useless or cheesy... at first. But ordinary things done consistently produce extraordinary results. You wont change your line of thinking instantly, but ... (read in full...)
Will our relationship last if we refrain from talking about our feelings?
Q. I don't know if this is weird, strange, problematic or w/e but me and my gf rarely talk about our feelings towards one another, we don't really need to, usually we know we love each other by the way we we look into each others eyes or when we cuddle ...
A. 12 October 2010: You're both expressing your love through your actions instead of through your words... in my opinion you have as much chance of surviving as any relationship- if not more..
Sounds refreshingly simple to me :)
Best of luck... (read in full...)
Love is patient?
Q. Love is patient. Pre-Marital Sex is impatient. Opinion please cause this one really made me think a million times....
A. 12 October 2010: I wouldn't say that pre-marital sex is a sign of impatience for me personally... Sexual compatibility is important in a marriage. I wouldn't commit to spending the rest of my life with someone if I didn't first know them completely and wasn't ... (read in full...)
Help me get back the one who is more than life to me!
Q. So the most horrible thing in my entire life just happened. I lost the reason why I live, I lost my girlfriend. We broke up because she caught me using a gay chat site, and on a webcam site. I've done this to her before and absolutely regret it all. ...
A. 12 October 2010: Well I hate to say it, but you did get caught once... you did have a chance to change and learn from your mistake, yet you didn't...
Why?
You may not view yourself as bi or gay, but you are certainly curious. Either way, I don't understand... (read in full...)
She left her husband for me and now I don't want her!
Q. I dont think I love my girlfriend of two years anymore. Here is the situation, 2 years ago I met this girl, but she was already married for 4 years but something happened and we started talking with one another and before you know it we were getting ...
A. 12 October 2010: I'll save the speech about how you shoulda figured out she wasn't right for you before you convinced her to leave her husband cos I reckon you know that already.
But yeh, you gave it two years... maybe prolonged the relationship out of guilt lo... (read in full...)
Girlfriend acting suspicious. Cause for concern?
Q. My first ever question to Dear Cupid! This question may sound textbook, but I would like an outside opinion. About 6 weeks ago, my girlfriend decided to take some time apart. She said that she needed a week to think about what she really want...
A. 12 October 2010: Yeh.. this doesn't look good and acting jealous or playing sherlock holmes is only going to make you lose her faster.
... (read in full...)
GUY GIVING FREAKISHLY MIXED SIGNALS?? PLEASE HELP!!
Q. There's this guy I've had my eye on, and while he's uber-confident and has no problem talking to other people, he always seems to have trouble talking to me. (Mind you, this guy is somewhat of a womanizer, and has no problem being super physical ...
A. 12 October 2010: He sounds like a pick up artist to me...
When he imitates your phrases, words, body language etc. that's called "mirroring" and its done deliberately to sub-consciously make you think that you have a connection with him.
Same with the... (read in full...)
I have a fat fetish and want my girl to be even bigger!
Q. Okay so i have a big problem. I've been dating the same girl for a year and i told her i have a fat fetish and i needed her bigger. so shes gained about 20 lbs for me but i am still not nearly sexually satisfied. i know for a fact im in love with ...
A. 12 October 2010: This is just despicable...
for once I'm actually speechless. ... (read in full...)
She is jealous but wants to keep her ex in the picture but not mine, what to do here??
Q. My partner and I have only been together for about 5 months. I have had a total of 2 partners before her. She has had myrriads. She ask me the other day to quit communicating with my last ex because she was afraid I would end up having an emotional ...
A. 11 October 2010: Double standards... not cool.... (read in full...)
I'm ready for sex! Now where's the boyfriend?
Q. My problem, in a nutshell, is that I feel ready to have sex but I do not have a boyfriend. I feel like I have reached a point of emotional maturity where I know myself and my body very well and I am also very knowledgeable when it comes to protecti...
A. 11 October 2010: Best post title ever, lol... (read in full...)
Everyone keeps calling me ugly, but I don't feel like I am!
Q. I havn't had a boyfriend in ages and ages and everyone keeps calling me ugly but im actually not. I don't know what to do please help me???...
A. 11 October 2010: Don't listen to anybody else.
They're trying to bring you down a peg... don't let em', they aren't worth the time of day.
Just shrug your shoulders, say "ok, whatever" and act unfazed... pretty much a universal defense for anything.
... (read in full...)
Is it true that guys prefer non-virgins?
Q. Okay, so as me and my friend were walking she told me the reason why I don't get guys is cause I'm a virgin. She said if I lost my virginity then that would be better. Since she said a good percent of guys prefer non-virgins rather than virgins. ...
A. 11 October 2010: Your friend is an idiot. She gets guys because once guys hear that she's sexually active, (and in school they all hear), then suddenly yeh, she'll get more male attention.
But do you think that having a bunch of sex crazed little buggers atte... (read in full...)
How can I gain respect after being FWB?
Q. After being FWB, I want there to be something more. How do I gain his respect back, so that he can see me as more relationship material?...
A. 11 October 2010: As dorothy said, you can get his respect back by saying "no" if he tests you to see if he can still get sex. Show him you've got a back bone.
However as for seeing you as relationship material... don't get your hopes up. By all means try as n... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has terminal cancer, I want a baby but he doesnt. Should I leave him?
Q. My boyfriend has terminal cancer, i want a baby but he doesnt. Should i leave him? We met a year or two ago and we have fallen in love. He has a child by a previous marriage and is content with that but I am becoming desperate. I dont want to ...
A. 11 October 2010: This is a very big and difficult decision, maybe its worth seeing a professional about?... (read in full...)
He wants a two month break, but we've only been dating for 2 months!
Q. I don't know how to start this. But my boyfriend and I had decided to go on a two months break because of an incident that happened. Long story short, it is that we got caught. He doesn't want me to be in trouble so he suggested a month break from ...
A. 11 October 2010: Need more info about why he initiated the break... Who caught you, what kind of trouble does he say he's trying to protect you both from? Parents?
Two months seems very odd...... (read in full...)
I want to get back with my ex, but he got a girl pregnant!
Q. okay, so today i found out that my ex boyfriend has a baby on the way. He is going out with the babys mother and i know that sounds soo easy to understand, but its far more complicated. Me and him have always kinda been bf and gf. i started ...
A. 11 October 2010: You really have a bad case of "I want what I can't have"...
You CAN let go, you just don't want to... can't you see you've wasted enough time with this guy? ... (read in full...)
Is having PMS a reason to act like a spoiled brat?
Q. Hi, I have a question regarding my girlfriend and her PMS. I know that it is a stressful time for a girl as the hormones are running wild, but should it be an excuse to act like a spoiled brat? Me and my girlfriend, who are both 20 years old, we...
A. 11 October 2010: I don't think PMS was the main problem in this case dude... probably shouldn't have left her alone for that long if she's shy.
PMS is an explanation for a change in behavior, but its not an excuse. ... (read in full...)
He can go 2 days without contacting me! Why?
Q. my bf will last up to 2 days without texting me, n if he does, he doesnt say much, n sometimes he doesnt even respond. still like tat, he says he loves me. what should i dooo???? hes not going to change. ...
A. 11 October 2010: ... come on... its 2 days.. thats nothing.
If he wont change then you'll either have to live with it or live without him. ... (read in full...)
I'm devastated! She offered me friendship, and said that was all!
Q. Okay guys so here is MY problem, I am an extremely good looking handsome young man (mainly very cute), everyone in my life has always told me that. I also am very stylish when it comes to clothes and always maintain a good look, I am the type of guy ...
A. 11 October 2010: Move on and try to work on your character a bit.
Being brutally honest, you make it very hard to sympathize with you... You were right when you said that you have too much pride- to the point where you come across as arrogant.
Not everybody... (read in full...)
How do I get more time with my LDR without actually asking for it?
Q. I've answered a few questions and I've stated how much of a sweetheart my long distance love is. He's sweet, kind, always makes me happy and full of laughter. He's cute, smarter then people give him credit for, makes sure im happy. He knows when ...
A. 10 October 2010: "How do i get more time with my LDR without actually asking for it?"
Guys have never been known for their mind-reading abilities..
If it upsets you so much then just ask him, clinginess be damned. ... (read in full...)
He seems to stare at my house a lot and then he seems to avoid me
Q. hi i moved into this house in december 2009 i realised that the lad that lives across the road, i know him as he knew my brother before he was killed 7yrs ago. this lad didn't remember who i was my friend told this lad i fancied him and then he ...
A. 10 October 2010: He goes out of his way to make sure you bump into him at the shop... How so? What makes you think he is going out of his way? I only ask because he does live just opposite you... he's gonna be going to the same convenience shop as you and he's ... (read in full...)
We exchanged numbers, how soon before I can call?
Q. I met a guy at a party last night, we seemed to hit it off and we exchanged phone numbers. I'll be honest and say I'm a bit of a novice in this regard, but if he's interested when would he call? Or should I? If I am to contact him, should I text or ...
A. 10 October 2010: Text him whenever you want, don't wait by the phone for a call which may or may not come.
The whole 2 day rule is ridiculous.
... (read in full...)
My heart and my mind are at war
Q. my (ex?) girlfriend slept with someone else. i didnt realize that were officaly broken up sisnce we were still doing everything that couples do like go to a show,dinner, sex, etc.... we have had out differences that could have easly been worked out ...
A. 10 October 2010: "my heart loves her so much and implants immages in my mind of WHAT COULD BE. my head is telling my heart that I CAN DO BETTER"
Ultimately its up to you. I'm just a bit worried that you're focusing on what could be, instead of what is. Stop foc... (read in full...)
Damn boys!
Q. damn boys! i love this guy. he doest love me back but he flirts, now he saying we should have sex. what should i do? im in love with him and i realy want to. ...
A. 10 October 2010: If you want to get hurt then go for it. ... (read in full...)
Should I try smoking?
Q. smoking should i try it or not? cause i want to. hi, this question isnt about relationship, i already posted one aobut that, anyway, i want to try somking but im only 14 some its not like i can go out and buy them or say to my parents " i want...
A. 10 October 2010: I actually bookmarked this page because of your post AuntieSnap... those are some scary facts. ... (read in full...)
Calling Christians - Can a spouse do so much wrong that you just can't come back despite what the bible says?
Q. I am a very spiritual person. I love people and always look for the good in them. I am someone who can be involved with someone who has 2 tons of bad and 5 pounds of good, and I shift the scale to the good. But I am in a marriage where I have lost ...
A. 10 October 2010: Not trying to offend anyone, this is simply my opinion...
The bible is to a large degree open to interpretation. Some topics are more open to individual interpretation than others. Some are concrete and very clear. There are many contradi... (read in full...)
I feel he is just taking me for granted!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for about 5 years now. We kinda live together. I stay at his house every night. Most of my clothes is at my parents house. Some stuff is at his house and I would like for me to have all of my belongings at my bf. I have ...
A. 10 October 2010: "I know guys are scared of commitment"
Its funny how many women actually believe this to be true about ALL guys... for some it is true, but for the majority of guys its just completely false.
Here's another thing you should know about guys.... (read in full...)
He wants to take my virginity... and I'm scared I'll lose him if I say no.
Q. Am a 14 year old girl with a 17 year old boyfriend who wants 2 have 6 kids with me in the future. the thing is now he wants 2 break my virginity. I am still a virgin and am not ready. I dont wanna loose it. He's the best boyfriend ive ever had ...
A. 10 October 2010: Don't you dare have sex with him because you're afraid to lose him if you don't!
He's the best boyfriend you've had in your life? You're only 14... you probably haven't had a real boyfriend before him to compare- so how would you know what a g... (read in full...)
Should I try smoking?
Q. smoking should i try it or not? cause i want to. hi, this question isnt about relationship, i already posted one aobut that, anyway, i want to try somking but im only 14 some its not like i can go out and buy them or say to my parents " i want...
A. 10 October 2010: I tried my first cigarette when I was 22, figured I was an adult, knew the risks and could control myself.
Starts off just bumming cigarettes...
Then after a month or two you buy one packet cos you're sick of asking people for theirs...
... (read in full...)
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