A
female
age
30-35,
*olaBolla
writes:There's this guy I've had my eye on, and while he's uber-confident and has no problem talking to other people, he always seems to have trouble talking to me. (Mind you, this guy is somewhat of a womanizer, and has no problem being super physical with a girl he just met)Yet, at the same time, he'll always stand REALLY close (a little off to one side, kind of out of my range of vision), he stares at me when he thinks I'm not looking, he's super attentive if I ever shift positions when I'm standing and he constantly immitates the phrases/ idioms/ words I use, like a second after I use them. I think he told one of his closest friends he likes me too, because he kind of smirks at him whenever he (his friend) sees us talking.The weird thing is altely he's been more nervous than EVER about talking to me-- and that's saying something. I ALWAYS have to approach him, and he seems out of his element and jittery... are his feelings starting to get more aerious or something? Shouldn't it be EASIER to talk to someone after a while?
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 He sounds like a pick up artist to me...
When he imitates your phrases, words, body language etc. that's called "mirroring" and its done deliberately to sub-consciously make you think that you have a connection with him.
Same with the standing really close but slightly to the side of you... that's also done deliberately to be able to get closer, without actually coming across as threatening, for example, you wouldn't allow him to stand that close if he was standing directly in front of him.
I'm not a pick up artist myself, but I've read a few books and find the whole thing very interesting because of the psychology it involves. If he's read a book or two then that could explain why he's not good at doing these things subtly so that you don't notice them...
But that's just a theory.
Best of luck :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): The problem with "somewhat womanizers" is that most have games and tricks and Id try to confirm that he indeed is genuine when he speaks to you.
From your passage I inferred that youd like to be treated uniquely as he is more nervous than usual to speak to you. Chances are this guy is immature, however, I dont know him. Because of the possibility he cant effectively relay his feelings towards a woman in a genuine way i e not jut looking at you, Id proceed with caution and pull him aside and ask him straight out what his intentions are with you.
You deserve to be treated right and if this lad is gonna mess with your head, I myself wouldnt be a happy camper.
regards
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