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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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I thought things went well the other night but he hasn't texted me back
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted to get some advice on something. Well I've been into this guy for a good while now, met him at my cousin's house one day and something really attracted me to him. He's good friends with my cousins so I dunno if this is the ...
A. 29 October 2010: Yeh, I'm pretty much the worst guy you'd meet when it comes to using a phone... so I'm pretty confident when I say that anymore than 3 days and he's either:
1) Playing a game (ie, not contacting you deliberately, not to seem too keen, trying t... (read in full...)
Why won't he perform oral on me?
Q. My boyfriend simply won't go down on me. We have been sexually active for over 3 months and I've received it maybe 6 times. I give him head all the time, hoping to get some in return, but he claims he just has to be in the mood for it. I can't stand ...
A. 29 October 2010: Ha, yeh, no perfume on the crotch... you wouldn't sniff your perfume bottle for any longer than 5 seconds, don't make us do it for (x) minutes :) ... (read in full...)
I thought things went well the other night but he hasn't texted me back
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted to get some advice on something. Well I've been into this guy for a good while now, met him at my cousin's house one day and something really attracted me to him. He's good friends with my cousins so I dunno if this is the ...
A. 29 October 2010: 3 days max if I was actually interested I'd say... again, its not deliberate or calculated, but I hate using my phone, I prefer face to face so I'm not that bothered if somebody takes offense to me not replying- they wouldn't like being with me and ... (read in full...)
Why won't he perform oral on me?
Q. My boyfriend simply won't go down on me. We have been sexually active for over 3 months and I've received it maybe 6 times. I give him head all the time, hoping to get some in return, but he claims he just has to be in the mood for it. I can't stand ...
A. 29 October 2010: Some guys just don't like doing it... not a lot you can do about it really if he already knows that you want it more... You could try only going down on him when he goes down on you for a while.. maybe he'll see where your coming from when he asks ... (read in full...)
Why do men think of women as slaves?
Q. why do men think of women as slaves?...
A. 29 October 2010: What on earth are you talking about??... (read in full...)
I like the new guy but he's got a g/f, wonder if I should get back with my ex, or what?
Q. I've liked this guy for around half a year. He was single but i was in a relationship. Two months ago i broke up with my bf (not because of the guy i like). he tried to kiss me only about two weeks after the break up but i backed away, because it ...
A. 29 October 2010: Considered being single for a while? You won't shrivel up and die if you don't have a boyfriend...... (read in full...)
I don't want this misunderstanding to cause bad feelings
Q. Hi guys, I'm a fresher at uni and have settled in well. Unfortunately, I'm getting a bit stressed at the minute. Basically, there's this girl along the hall from who is nice at heart but really annoying the rest of the time (she basically is obs...
A. 29 October 2010: Just tell her you didn't want to ruin your friendship with her by moving in with her... ... (read in full...)
I thought things went well the other night but he hasn't texted me back
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted to get some advice on something. Well I've been into this guy for a good while now, met him at my cousin's house one day and something really attracted me to him. He's good friends with my cousins so I dunno if this is the ...
A. 29 October 2010: "If a guy likes you he'll text you back and not leave your texts hanging. However, if he's not interested then there's no sense in answering your texts. Guys are simple, that don't play games or send off signals, they don't know how to do it and ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend I like her boyfriend?
Q. Ok, so heres the deal. I'm pretty sure I am falling for one of my speech and debate team mates. I am a jr. in high school hes a senior. My car is broken down so after practices hes giving me a ride home (twice a week). There is only one problem, he ...
A. 29 October 2010: No, no no no no.... (read in full...)
I can't give in to my husband's sexual demands and now he's sulking
Q. I'm 46 been married 28 years. my husband demmands me to do things sexually that i'm not comfortable with. I've always gave in in the past but his recent demmand i just cant do. I've tried it but i dont like it. we have been fighting about it for 3 ...
A. 29 October 2010: I agree to a point female anonymous, but if your partner wanted you to try as you said "swinging,threesomes,anything with urine or feces or animals" and then sulked and fought with you when he didn't get his way- would you cave in??
I should hope... (read in full...)
Looking for a great play list of songs to work out to.
Q. Last spring I went through a rough break up and I still have some slight bitterness about the whole thing. Lately I've been getting slightly out of shape and have wanted to start working out again. My job has been making that a bit difficult but I ...
A. 29 October 2010: Anything from the prodigy, muse, pendulum, placebo or the presets get me fired up.... (read in full...)
Did he use me for sex or is he worried about our age gap?
Q. i broke up with my ex a while ago but we agreed to remain friends. nearly 3 weeks ago he invited me to a party at his mates and his friend, who i had been speakling to on fb, was there and even though he is 6 years older than me we ended up having ...
A. 29 October 2010: Sad to say but I agree with nessie.... (read in full...)
3 year friendship but I want more. Should I tell her?
Q. I've known her for three years now, and I've liked her for a while now. We're pretty close friends. It's just, she's on my mind so much that it hurts sometimes. I have a feeling that she doesn't share these feelings, even though she does care for ...
A. 29 October 2010: Well, I think you should tell her... pretty sure if its been a 3 year friendship that you'll get rejected, but I think you might need that rejection so you can stop longing for this girl that you can't have and move on. Plus it'll be good to get ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he doesn't know what love is or if he wants to marry me!
Q. I need your help. My boyfriend and I got into this big argument/discussion last night and even though we cleared a lot of things up, there are just some things I'd like to get your opinion on. Some things he said still kind of stick out in my ...
A. 29 October 2010: Funnily enough I don't think this needs over-analyzing...
You said how you feel, he said how he feels, now, just as you said- "don't think so much about the future or the past and just live in the now and be happy."... (read in full...)
29 year old virgin and waiting for the right one. Will I find her?
Q. hi am 29 many say am a good looking guy, thing is i have allways bin shy around women god knows why some girls ask how come u havnt got a gf ya such a lovely guy thing is am still a virgin i wanted to save myself for the right person am not re...
A. 29 October 2010: Waiting for the right one? That sounds like a bit of a reverse rationalization to me... Fact is you're scared and pushing people away whilst at the same time too shy to chase anyone... How do you expect to find anybody- let alone the "right one"? ... (read in full...)
How does one deal with a commitment-phobe?
Q. How does one deal with a commitmentphobe? I know that he more than likes me. He has proven it on many occasions over the past year. He just freaked when I mentioned the word relationship. He is still around writing, calling, caring. He took abuse ...
A. 28 October 2010: Just don't put a label on it. He obviously cares about you and it seems like you guys are unofficially in a relationship already... maybe just don't use that word for a while?... (read in full...)
My friends always say the teacher is staring at me
Q. hey :) I know I have asked this before, but I got no help :( thank you to the people who did comment though, I just need more help please I don't know what to do im really sorry its so long, but please I need your advice .... I'm a littl...
A. 28 October 2010: Did you skim-read Miamine? :)
"sometimes he stands behind me and puts his crotch area right next to my hand and sometimes my hand is actually touching that area, but I don't move away because I really like him."
If this is truly about gett... (read in full...)
My friends always say the teacher is staring at me
Q. hey :) I know I have asked this before, but I got no help :( thank you to the people who did comment though, I just need more help please I don't know what to do im really sorry its so long, but please I need your advice .... I'm a littl...
A. 28 October 2010: I'm not seeing anything here that isn't normal teacher behavior... apart from maybe playing with your hair.... (read in full...)
After we broke up I was so angry I went to his mum and told her everything! I know this was a terrible thing to do but I still want to be friends
Q. My boyfriend and I of a year and a half just called it quits 2 days ago. I feel a sense of anger but I still can't get the sadness out. I told him I still wanted to be friends and I know he agreed just to be nice. So last night I did something ...
A. 28 October 2010: Good luck being friends with him after that... He's gonna hate you. ... (read in full...)
Do they still have control in this situation?
Q. Hi could someone please help me with this question? If somebody is trying to control you by refusing you something and they probably thought you would chase them for it, then do they have any control over you if you walk away and say ok i will go ...
A. 28 October 2010: Could you be more specific?... (read in full...)
My wife thinks that my ejaculating inside of her will make her fat!
Q. My wife does not want me to ejaculate inside her because she thinks sperm will make her fat, even though she doesn't eats junk food all the time. We have been married 18 months and I have to pull out just before I cum or wear condoms. This has been ...
A. 28 October 2010: Does she also think the moon is made of cheese?... (read in full...)
What kind of behavior is toxic?
Q. I've heard people say that a guy is "toxic". Obviously i know that that's a bad thing but what would you class as toxic? What kind of behaviours etc...?...
A. 28 October 2010: Any behavior that isn't normal or healthy for a sustainable relationship really... Off the top of my head- somebody who emotionally blackmails, is physically abusive, has double standards etc. could be considered toxic. ... (read in full...)
I can't give in to my husband's sexual demands and now he's sulking
Q. I'm 46 been married 28 years. my husband demmands me to do things sexually that i'm not comfortable with. I've always gave in in the past but his recent demmand i just cant do. I've tried it but i dont like it. we have been fighting about it for 3 ...
A. 28 October 2010: Sounds like you've given in to his demands too many times already... He's trying to emotionally black mail you by sulking & acting out because you've given in to this behavior before. Make a stand and show him that sulking will never get him what ... (read in full...)
5 days ago I said something to my boyfriend that I regret and he hasn't contacted me since
Q. A week last sunday I said something to my boyfriend which I really regret and I didnt mean. Everyone gets wound up sometimes and for me I blew and blurted it out. Well since then hes not spoken to me, ive text a few times, called and last night ...
A. 28 October 2010: Depends what you said really, he may or may not be over-reacting...... (read in full...)
How often should a boyfriend compliment his girlfriend?
Q. I'm in college and I'm curious to know how many times you compliment your girlfriend, or receive a compliment from your boyfriend. This is an on-going issues with my girlfriend because she says I don't compliment her enough. What's the norm? Once ...
A. 28 October 2010: Who cares, as long as the compliments are genuine... (read in full...)
Should I do something with my hair to get this guy to notice me?
Q. i really like this boy at school but i dont know how to get him to notice me. should i do something with my hair or face? what do i do to get with him!!! he is so cute help asap thanks!...
A. 28 October 2010: necessary no, helpful yes. ... (read in full...)
A guy new to dating needs advice
Q. I am an 18 year old college freshman who has never been in a relationship, nor have I ever dated in my life. I am not good at body language. I am the type of guy that would be considered a loner due to my lack of social interaction with people, ...
A. 27 October 2010: Well she may have been interested dude, but honestly you sound like you have a rather negative view of things that happen to you and sound unjustifiably moody/angry. By the sounds of things she may have just gotten sick of having to constantly ... (read in full...)
Should I do something with my hair to get this guy to notice me?
Q. i really like this boy at school but i dont know how to get him to notice me. should i do something with my hair or face? what do i do to get with him!!! he is so cute help asap thanks!...
A. 27 October 2010: I'm not saying that we don't like hair- he'll probably notice that you changed your hair, but you want him specifically to notice you in "that" way. He's not going to know you changed your hair specifically for him, so its pretty much the most ... (read in full...)
After two full on weekends he has stopped texting me goodnight
Q. i met this guy and he has took me out every day over the weekend for the past 2weeks and i think we have fallen fast for eachother we have this feeling like weve known eachother forever! im very confurtable with him we talk about everything together ...
A. 27 October 2010: Stop over thinking! ... (read in full...)
Should I do something with my hair to get this guy to notice me?
Q. i really like this boy at school but i dont know how to get him to notice me. should i do something with my hair or face? what do i do to get with him!!! he is so cute help asap thanks!...
A. 27 October 2010: There's one problem with doing that... You're assuming that guys care about hair as much as you girls do...
We really don't.
... (read in full...)
I was a spoilt brat used to getting my own way
Q. I am 20 years old and i havnt had the best figures to follow i love my family but they arent educated and i appreciate them for getting me to where i am, i am the first o go to colege in my family besides my father who i didnt live with growing up, ...
A. 27 October 2010: Well you may have been spoiled, but you don't sound one bit like a brat... Brats don't admit that they're brats for one!
Life doesn't give you a mentor, there is no little microsoft word paper clip that pops up when you need help. You can get ... (read in full...)
Already jealous of girls in sexy Halloween outfits
Q. Me and my boyfriend are going to a club for Halloween, and obviously the place is gonna be full of skantily clad, but for the most part hot girls. I know he doesn't want me to dress like that, and out of respect for him (and for myself as well, ...
A. 27 October 2010: I agree with kc 100... wear whatever YOU want to and feel comfortable in. Don't do it to deliberately draw attention, do it because you're an individual and your boyfriend does not control you or what you wear. ... (read in full...)
He just doesn't seem to make an effort anymore!
Q. since my boyfriend started his apprenticeship 4 months ago he has never set foot in my house, i always have to go down to him. which until yesterday never bothered me. it was my birthday yesterday and he never even made the effort to appear. am a ...
A. 27 October 2010: Is he making an effort in other ways that you could have overlooked? I don't think you're over reacting at all. Feeling like you're in a one sided relationship can really suck as you can start to think- "whats the point in trying", and that's a ... (read in full...)
Best friendship at an end?
Q. I just got engaged to my boyfriend and thought that my best friend would phone or visit to congratulate me after I messaged her to let her know but I haven't heard from her. She had a minor operation two weeks ago but she has been out doing errands ...
A. 27 October 2010: Tried calling her instead of msging?... (read in full...)
When is it the end?
Q. how do you honestly know when your relationship is at a end point...
A. 27 October 2010: When you can no longer see a future with them as being realistic and you are not a better & happier person when you are with them. Basically when the con's of the relationship outweigh the pro's is a general rule of thumb for me. ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing by not saying anything until I am sure I am pregnant?
Q. so i woke up this morning with a predicament you see i woke this morning and realized that i'm two weeks late for my period and to add to it the possible dad and i no longer speak to each other because hes now my ex.. to make it a little more com...
A. 27 October 2010: Yeh, wait until you are sure.. buy a pregnancy testing kit. ... (read in full...)
Do you think this woman is a transsexual ?
Q. I had intercourse with a woman last night who was subtly, but adamantly wanting to have sex with her anally. This really weired me out as I had never done that before. No matter what I did she always found a way to position herself so that I would ...
A. 27 October 2010: There are a few women out there who really truly enjoy anal... alot. Not many, but they do exist. Though having said that, a guy who was on Big brother told a mate that he was in a similar situation to what you described and turns out she was a ... (read in full...)
I want to know about her sexual experiences but I'm afraid to ask
Q. I am in the first sexual relationship after a LTR ended. She is just a little more sexually experienced than me, and I find myself wanting to try things I've never done before sexually. I hate to ask details about her past, because i dont want to ...
A. 27 October 2010: Are you sure you aren't opening a can of worms here? As in- will you look at her differently or have a hard time getting over knowing what she's done in her sexual past if she actually tells you? For example- she tells you she's done a foursome ... (read in full...)
My wife says sex makes her feel nasty?
Q. I have asked for help before and you guys have tried but it's been almost 2 years and I still can't get my wife to have sex hardly at all I still can't get a hand job, I can't even get a kiss goodnight here lately. I love my wife very much but I ...
A. 27 October 2010: Was she ever different when it came to sex, as in- has sex just gradually died down over time or was she always not so keen to begin with? ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend, and want to propose to her, but now I'm having doubts
Q. Hi all, I am madly in love with my girlfriend, I'll call Tracy, of nearly two years. I've been wanting to propose to her (she knows this), but lately, her actions have been giving me doubts. In a nutshell, I think she's is obsessed with th...
A. 26 October 2010: Holy #^$%! I'm surprised you didn't run for this hills at week 1!... (read in full...)
How long should I wait and should I send flowers?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend three weeks ago. I did not contact her for a few weeks, but then decided to contact her and ask her to meet up to discuss us. We had a lovely dinner and I asked her if she wanted to try again. When we broke up I asked ...
A. 25 October 2010: Don't contact her at all or send flowers unless she contacts you first. Period. If she doesn't contact then that's your sign to move on. ... (read in full...)
Help me figure this girl out, and then proceed accordingly
Q. oh my, ok so i joined a new school in kickboxing, co-ed, anyway i love it and am very focused when i go, but at the same time, there's this girl who i don't see every class (regina) and since the first time i saw her i noticed she keeps licking her ...
A. 25 October 2010: Dude, there's no 100% guarantee of not getting rejected unless you flippin' ask so stop looking for one. There's always a risk, but its worth taking in this case for sure.. She may be interested in you that way or that may just be her personality- ... (read in full...)
In love and now we're "kissing cousins"
Q. I'm 21 years old and i'm in love with my 15 year old cousin. I have told her how I feel about her and she told me she feels the same way. I was shocked when she told me she's in love with me too. We are now kissing cousins. I know my feelings for ...
A. 25 October 2010: Pretty simple really... just stay away from your cousin...
You seem to be looking for someone to be your kids mother figure- so much so that you're prepared to overlook stuff that REALLY shouldn't be... This is wrong dude, you know that alr... (read in full...)
The obsession with gender bending porn material and sexual orientation.
Q. Some people especially men like to watch porn, for the spouse it could be a difficult experience especially if the intimacy in their relationship is affected. Usually men would search for porn when they have some level of stagnation in their lives, ...
A. 25 October 2010: "No one would argue that a straight man would never find other men attractive"
Err... I would.... (read in full...)
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