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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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The obsession with gender bending porn material and sexual orientation.
Q. Some people especially men like to watch porn, for the spouse it could be a difficult experience especially if the intimacy in their relationship is affected. Usually men would search for porn when they have some level of stagnation in their lives, ...
A. 25 October 2010: "No one would argue that a straight man would never find other men attractive"
Err... I would.... (read in full...)
Could she have feelings she's not ready to admit to?
Q. I'm a 15 year old female, and I'm bi. At the moment I am really confused about how I feel. There is this girl who I developed very strong feelings for, and she knows. I think I may be falling for her, but I don't think she likes me. She is a really ...
A. 23 October 2010: Sounds more intimate than any female friendships I know of- I'd venture that shes certainly curious... :)
Goodluck!... (read in full...)
She is running me around in circles ...
Q. Okay so, there is this girl who I've recently become extremely attracted to - she's gorgeous, has a great personality, is both extremely cute and horribly sexy and it seems like we're very compatible. But, she's been running me in circles lately and ...
A. 23 October 2010: She's got you on the hook dude... she's keeping you just interested enough to hang around- but its for her own selfish reasons... attention or ego-boost being the most likely in my opinion.
Stop jumping through her hoops dude, you're better t... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be jealous or envious of others?
Q. Is it okay to be a envy/jealous of someone? I have been feeling very envy /jealous of celebrites and models and other people. I feel like the are so beautiful and that they got everything. I know that being jealous isn't good for the health. ...
A. 23 October 2010: You really need to stop comparing yourself to others as a gauge of how "good" you are... (for lack of a better word). Perhaps you should also look into building your self-esteem up a bit.
You've only got one life... why waste it watching what the... (read in full...)
I got banned on a website, will they come looking for me?
Q. I Think I have been banned from a certain website (being a young male you can imagine what type) for not paying for the service. I made several accounts on it and one of their rules was no identity fraud. Well in my eyes I created the names of the ...
A. 23 October 2010: If they don't have your details, address or billing etc. then I doubt their going to go through the trouble of hunting you down through your IP but it depends how much money you owe... Can I ask why you got banned? ... (read in full...)
I think one night stands are disgusting! Am I normal?
Q. Even when I was a teenager I never beleived in 1 night stands and never had sex with a woman I didn't at least care about. I hear about so many cases of cheating, group sex and just fucking someone just for the hell of it. I find it a bit ...
A. 23 October 2010: Yeh I'm not a fan of them either, but I don't judge people who do it, its just not something I'm comfortable doing myself. Sex is fun to talk about and some of the funniest, sickest, most bizarre stories I've heard from mates revolve around it.
... (read in full...)
Married ex asking questions
Q. what does it mean when an ex you had a child with,asks you personal questions but is now married?does that mean he still cares...
A. 23 October 2010: Of course he would care, its natural to care for someone you once loved. But I wouldn't look too far into this...... (read in full...)
We fight almost every day and I'm always crying
Q. Okay so I'm 20 and my Boyfriend is 30. We have been together for a year and a half and he is totally my best friend and we love each other to death and are great! But....we seem to fight almost everyday and I seem to CRY EVERYTIME... I tell him ...
A. 23 October 2010: Well, there's red flags everywhere here that suggest to me that this isn't going to last forever... Do you think you could handle crying almost everyday for the rest of your life? ... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and feel I'm getting old. When do people usually find "the one"?
Q. hi guys, I'm worried that i wont find the right guy. I'm nearly 22 and i feel like my dating life is nearly over. I would probably like to be settled down by 25 and marrying/kids about 30. Ive got a guy in my life, but he tends to invalidate an...
A. 23 October 2010: Old?? You're 22...... (read in full...)
Making girlfriend my top priority
Q. how can i make my girlfriend feel like she is my top priority?...
A. 23 October 2010: Its much easier to make her feel like she's your top priority if you've just started dating, if you've been dating a while its much harder as there may be specific past events she remembers that make her think otherwise...
How long have you been... (read in full...)
How will I know when there is penetration?
Q. I'm a 20yrs old girl, still a virgin, my hymen wasn't there, so my BF knows and promised not to penetrate deeper during sex ie for me not to lose my virginity until i'm ready,but i'm confused, am i still a virgin? Can i get pregnant like that and ...
A. 22 October 2010: Mazel Tov!... (read in full...)
Winking before making love?
Q. What does it mean when a man winks at you when he is just about to make love to you?...
A. 22 October 2010: lol, its not code for anything if that's wot you're thinking.
a wink in the street is the same as a wink in the bed ... (read in full...)
If he misses me why can't he just say he's sorry?
Q. Please bare with me, and please help! When I was 14 I met this boy online. He was the same age as me we had the same interests and generally got on very well. We spoke online nearly everyday, as well as texting each other and phoning each oth...
A. 22 October 2010: The balls in his court?? Dunno how you figure that, but you're letting your own pride get in the way... if he sent you an email when he was drunk he could have apologized profusely, professed his love... who knows, but what if he's thinking the ... (read in full...)
Husband will not defend me against his mom!
Q. I don't understand what it's going to take for my husband to defend me when it comes to his mom. I had taken anti depressants because of her. And because I took anti depressants I had a miscarriage not knowing I was pregnant. I cry all the time. He ...
A. 22 October 2010: Put a stop to what behavior? What exactly does she do that you think your husband should defend you against? ... (read in full...)
My married cousin is so friendly to me, what does it mean?
Q. My cousin is a married woman and also we are so friendly. She is always wearing sexy dresses as her boobs are partially shown to me.I don't know it is accidently or not. She is middle aged. I want to show that i am interested in her. Also she is ...
A. 22 October 2010: I can't in good conscience help you seduce your COUSIN who is MARRIED. C'mon dude, there's plenty of girls out there, why mess with family?... (read in full...)
Did the condoms get too hot to be safe to use?
Q. Dear agony aunt, I have purchased a box of condom as a gift for my man. I recently read that heat could destroy condoms. Out of my ignorance on the day of my purchase, I kept it in my wooden desk drawer for 24 hours. I use my laptop (which he...
A. 22 October 2010: When in doubt, chuck em' out.... (read in full...)
Attracted to someone who looks like your ex means????
Q. i'm just curious about something.... if youre attracted to someone that reminds you of or is similar to your ex, does it mean you still have feelings for that person or does it just mean thats your "type""? i recently met a guy that i find really ...
A. 22 October 2010: My theory is that ex's that you really cared for can certainly create or alter your type... maybe its just a familiarity thing? I've noticed myself flip flopping on "my type" a fair few times and seeing an old girlfriends ex in a photo that looked ... (read in full...)
I dream and then a week later the dream comes true?
Q. Most nights i dream some pretty weird dreams.. then like a week or so later my dreams come real. i dont know what it means?? is there any meaning?...
A. 22 October 2010: Deep subconscious thoughts can seep into our dreams so if you've got something planned later in the week swirling around in your head then that could explain the odds of them ending up in your dreams, and the slim but certainly possible chances of ... (read in full...)
Slept with my husbands best friend
Q. Okay so i am a 19 year old mother of 3. I have a wonderful husband been married almost a year. well a couple of months ago i found out that my husband really good friend was a guy i used to hook up with and eventually fell madly head over heels in ...
A. 22 October 2010: Oh for flip sake! Your an adult now, don't make any more adult commitments, (babies, marriages) until you grow up!!
Are all 3 of your kids your husbands? That's a bloody big decision... maybe you should talk to your family before doing anything... (read in full...)
Is my husband with me just because I had his baby?
Q. I'm 23 and my husband is 33 we have only been together in a sexual relationship for about 13 months but have known each other for over 5 years. When we first got together everything thing was perfect, He was the perfect gentleman, Took me out for ...
A. 22 October 2010: I really, really hate to agree with kc 100 but there's just no other way to read this... he really does sound like he's in this marriage for the wrong reasons... sorry :( I think you guys need to have a serious talk together...... (read in full...)
Is this a bad sign? Lack of eye contact
Q. Hi there I am worried about something but it sounds trivial. My boyfriend hardly ever makes prolonged eye contact with me. I think he does love me because he tells me he does, and he puts me first. Plus we love to be in each others company, but...
A. 22 October 2010: I really don't think this is an intimacy thing... I'm willing to bet he's just naturally uncomfortable making prolonged eye contact with everybody. Watch him carefully around his friends... or alternatively just talk to him about it, he probably ... (read in full...)
Is this just a temporary glitch again or is it the end now? If so how can I forget and be happy again?
Q. Recently I have been upset about a break up. I was with my ex for over 2 years, we had split up for half a year before but got back together. We were alot happier, but there were still some ups and downs and trust issues towards the end that was...
A. 22 October 2010: Ergh... this reads like one of my old relationships so I can understand your boyfriends point of view. Even him saying "nothing will change"... I said the same thing over and over before we broke up. Kinda scary. I could go on, but I'll skip the ... (read in full...)
Am I throwing away 13 years of marriage for no good reason/
Q. this is probably a strange thing to be dealing with but i dont know what to do it all started about 2 years ago me and my husband was in bed going to sleep when he recieved a text message from his friends girlfriend (whom he doesnt know and has ...
A. 22 October 2010: Sounds like normal tradesman pranks to me, an almost daily occurance in my experience working with them. It just escalates and pranks get bolder and riskier- clearly they didn't think about what "could" go wrong, but it really does sound innocent. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want a relationship, I do....and it's killing me.
Q. I met this guy about 11 months ago. At first I blew him off alot but finally gave in and went out with him. From that moment, we had an instant connection. I found out a week later he was in a long-distance relationship but I didn't let me that ...
A. 22 October 2010: "I read in a book that if I guy is really that into you then nothing would stop him from wanting to be in a relationship with you"
Well that's just not true. Nevertheless, you should keep walking away if you're after a relationship... you won'... (read in full...)
I can't be without my boyfriend, but I can't carry on having his dad talk about me in this way.
Q. Ok, here it is. I suffer from slight mental health issues. Having been bullied since I was about 10, I have learned to block a lot of things out, but eventually it all gets on top of me, and I have serious breakdowns, to the point where I curl up ...
A. 22 October 2010: His dad- under his own roof has the right to express his own opinion in private... your boyfriend's made this problem for you. You cant control who likes you and who doesn't, its impossible for everyone to like you so just leave it... you'll drive ... (read in full...)
We are eventually getting married why won't he talk about it?
Q. Why is it a problem for me to mention marriage and/or anything about marriage and/or weddings to my boyfriend? We are not engaged yet, but he says we will be eventually. Why can't I talk about these things with him? This has been my life-long dream: ...
A. 22 October 2010: How long have you guys been together?... (read in full...)
What does "wandering eye" really mean?
Q. What does it mean by "wandering eye"? I've read a few posts here about women who are upset that their boyfriends/husbands are "looking" at other women. I've never read anything about a man who is jealous that his girlfriend/wife "looks" at other men ...
A. 22 October 2010: "Some of those guys happen to be ADD as well."
What the??... (read in full...)
Using a fleshlight and a still a virgin.
Q. Hello, im still a virgin and im a 19 year old male and i masturbate with a fleshlight because i havent found the right girl yet and im bored using my hand. i dont masturbate a lot but i just have 2 questions. 1. Should i ever tell my next girlfrie...
A. 22 October 2010: I'd say chuck the damn thing out... it'll free up time and energy that you can use to find a girlfriend. ... (read in full...)
Getting a girlfriend
Q. Hello I am a 17 year old male. I have never had a girlfriend before never kissed a girl nothing. Never had anyone really love me. I don't have any friends that are girls. Thing is I been talking to girls but I have not asked them out. I want to g...
A. 22 October 2010: "I don't have any friends that are girls."
Maybe you should work on that first... Having friends who are girls will help you no end in getting a girlfriend. ... (read in full...)
What is it your partner does to keep you with her?
Q. I'm just hoping to hear from a few long-time, happily married/committed men on what it is about their relationship with their wives/girlfriends that makes it work? Also, to any men who have/had stable relationships, what are some of the factors ...
A. 22 October 2010: "Don't nag, don't put down, don't emasculate him, don't smother him. Give him space and encouragement and occasionally give him breakfast in bed and wake him up with a blowjob. Ask him to fix things for you but rather than nagging and complaining ... (read in full...)
How do I prove I didn't have sex when I woke up naked next to her?
Q. How do I prove I didn't have sex with this girl when I woke up naked next to her. I can't remember anything from the night before or the morning. the only thing I do remember is mid afternoon....
A. 22 October 2010: You can't.... (read in full...)
If a guy doesn't call or text his girlfriend everyday, does that mean he doesn't love her?
Q. Is it necc. for me to call my girlfriend everyday just to prove that I love her deeply? I don't like talking on the phone much...I will text, but I don't want to feel obligated to call or text her or anyone else. Why do people put all these rules on ...
A. 22 October 2010: I think I'd blow my brains out if I had to msg and call my gf every single day just to "reassure" her I love her... Stand up for what you want, (she already has), then come to a compromise. If you can't then maybe you're just not that ... (read in full...)
Don't know who to choose... help!
Q. Hello! ok i'm in a bit of a situation, and it's starting to really upset and confuse me. i met a guy, and have been with him 8 months. he's pretty much perfect to me, well mostly. he treats me well. everything was going well, but i started going ou...
A. 22 October 2010: Well you could try to fix your "amazing perfect relationship"... its very easy to go out places together and have more fun. Break up with him if you want, but keep in mind that things won't be perfect with this new guy either... and the problems ... (read in full...)
Bedtime capers!
Q. I have an issue. My girlfriend get very upset with me when we try to sleep in the same bed. I toss and turn when I sleep. She says that I knee and elbow her. She yells at me for this even though I tell her that I am not doing it intentionality and ...
A. 22 October 2010: Thought about getting a king sized bed with a decent mattress?... (read in full...)
Beaten, vunerable and utterly lost, can anyone help me?
Q. About six years ago I wondered from house to house, bridge to bridge... one day i found the father of my 2 wonderful boys... lost myself i helped him find himself but i have remianed lost.. He was so into getting stoned, he would hardly pay ...
A. 22 October 2010: Why haven't you involved the police yet?... (read in full...)
Is it really right to strike someone in this situation?
Q. I was surprised and a bit shocked by some of the responses to A recent post about a guy wanting to know if women found it attractive when a guys junk happens to show. Several of the women say that they would slap the guy in the face if his junk ...
A. 21 October 2010: I seriously doubt anybody would run up and slap a dude with his junk out if its accidental... but when would it EVER be accidental??
And if you flash somebody- you deserve a slap.... (read in full...)
Would a guy pick the girl with the big boobs?
Q. embarrassing question... :S would a guy rather a girl with an athletic body, LOTS of muscle, long legs, a six pack, and a good bum but has small boobs (A)... or would he rather a girl with an average or skinny body, with big boobs? both girls hav...
A. 21 October 2010: Whichever one was more confident as I could easily be attracted to either (on paper atleast).... (read in full...)
Why do guys want a virgin?
Q. Ok, so im a girl and a virgin. Want to have sex but scared i might get pregnant. But Anyways i read somewere that guys like it when girls a virgins for sex or something. Why is that? Explain please....
A. 21 October 2010: Of the top of my head... Pardon the crudeness-
No std's
No risk of getting jealous or compared to past guys
Can teach them from scratch
"Tighter"
... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend like his ex's butt better?
Q. Ok i am totally aware as to how ridiculous this is but omg help!! So im in a long distance relationship, been with him now for 2 years (both our longest relationships so far)and we see each other not often but atleast take 3 holidays per yea...
A. 21 October 2010: Don't ask a loaded question if you can't handle a loaded answer.... (read in full...)
Afraid that he'll run again -- how to play this?
Q. I meet a guy a week and half ago on a dating site. in his profile he said he is looking for long term have a family etc . so we went out and after that he was all over me, sending cute text msgs, hanging out every other day saying how pretty i was ...
A. 20 October 2010: Just go with the flow and relax. He didn't run, he just wanted to slow things down- (even though he may have been the one speeding it up). You shouldn't be over thinking and drawing up battle plans after only a week and a half of having known him ... (read in full...)
Are my friends right? IS he playing me?
Q. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone type of thing. In high school there was a guy Taylor, he was a TOTAL player, he slept with pretty much every girl in our high school and then usually dumped them and told his friends about it. 3 ...
A. 20 October 2010: He may have changed, he may be different, he may be genuine... that's what every girl he ever played probably thought about him too... before they were played.
Be wary. ... (read in full...)
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