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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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I think about my girlfriend's sister while I masturbate!
Q. I have been with my gf for 3 years. We have a good healthy relationship, we have a house together and are planning a family. I find myself physically attracted to her sister (they're sisters) and I do believe I have received vibes from her and I ...
A. 13 November 2010: As long as it stays in your head, no harm done. ... (read in full...)
Getting my feet wet in the sea of dating!
Q. So I'm gona be 17 soon and have never had a boyfriend. I'm not beautiful but I'm not ugly eitherl. People tell me I'm pretty but I still can't seem to attract a guy. I used to just want to stay away from dating because I saw how bad it was for ...
A. 13 November 2010: Try reinventing yourself, 17 & 18 years old is the perfect age to step outside your comfort zone and try new things. Get a new wardrobe, maybe buy clothes that you know you would never normally consider (no I'm not saying go skimpier), but try new ... (read in full...)
Stay together for the kids?
Q. I have to ask, and I would appreciate people’s responses who have actually dealt directly with divorce, whether that is being the child involved or the parents. My parent’s divorced when I was about 8 years old; my father had been kicked out of t...
A. 13 November 2010: Mine divorced when I was 2... Now I have two happy families instead of one miserable one.
It's a total no-brainer in my opinion. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him my feelings and risk ruining a good thing? Or should I stick with "if you love someone let them go"?
Q. I have recentley reconnected with an old flame. The last time we saw each other we were intimate but I was in a relationship at the time, so we never kept in touch. It is now 10 years later and last week we disovered that we live down the road fr...
A. 12 November 2010: Swing for the fences. What have you got to lose?... (read in full...)
How do I approach my friends about a threesome?
Q. i want to bring up the topic of a threesome with some friends of mine (they're the couple), but don't know how to go about it. i wanted to know, hopefully from couples who've done this sort of thing before, what would be the best way to open the ...
A. 12 November 2010: Hah, yeh, its normally the couple that invites the outsider in...
Trying to invite yourself into your friends bedroom is a fantastic way to lose those friends...
Try an adult dating site if you want to try joining a threesome. ... (read in full...)
Girl I like says she thinks even 6" is too small, now I feel insecure!
Q. You've probably heard this a trillion times but I just can't get over it for some reason. I've gone through this phase of insecurity before. I had been consoled by a friend and I thought I was feeling confident and over it, but after hearing so...
A. 12 November 2010: "One is that about one third of all women never climax from intercourse alone"
Get good at oral dude... Come on, if you can get a woman to orgasm with your tongue, do you think she's really going to care all that much about your size...?
Oh, ... (read in full...)
Why is it so hard to meet a decent honest man?
Q. Why is it so hard to meet a decent honest man? My last relationship ended nearly three years ago. We were together for 11 years - most of which was very good and we broke up simply because we had grown apart. I made the decision to move back to my ...
A. 12 November 2010: Two words...
Small town.... (read in full...)
I'm in lust with my girlfriend's sister and her feet!
Q. I have a gf for 2 and a half years. I love her so much. I am a foot fetish guy and I want her sister's feet and I want to have sex with her. one time i slept in their house and i slept near the feet of her sis and i touched i and licked it. it ...
A. 12 November 2010: Eww.. well stop licking sleeping girls feet for a start.
There's a big difference between love and lust. Which one do you think is more important? ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to ask my boyfriend to care about his personal hygeine?
Q. me and my boy friend have been together for four years we been having sex for 3 ish years , I’ve never had a true orgasms, I always thought it was me because when still lived at home with our families we had to sneak around I was always afraid we ...
A. 12 November 2010: I think its important in a relationship to look after yourself and not get too comfortable to the point that you stop caring what you look/smell like. But it can be a touchy subject to bring up... I personally think its all in the "phrasing".
... (read in full...)
Do I need to approach this girl that my husband is friends with?
Q. hi! My husband is working in a call center for almost 3 years now. We have been married for 2 years and 8 years as gf/bf. I saw a picture of my husband and his girl officemate that is so close and i can't help to ask if there is something between ...
A. 12 November 2010: If you must approach anybody, approach your husband... no good will come from approaching his friend. ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to be naked in front of him!
Q. so i have been dating this guy for 7 weeks now.We finally decided to have sex.But now im soo worried.Its coz i have stretch marks on my ass n boobs.Im shy to be naked in front of him. I'm confused as too what he will think and if this will bring any ...
A. 12 November 2010: Trust me when I say that he really won't care or possibly even notice your stretch marks. Really, he'll just be happy to see some skin.
Maybe start off with dim lighting, candle light or a lamp facing the wall... ... (read in full...)
Am I too nice? Why do bad people only interested in sex, get the girl?
Q. I'I'm a young man, in college and I consider myself to be a nice, generous and caring person. My friend was having a house party to celebrate his 17th and during a party one night , I was introduced to "Steph". ". She is an amazing person , same i...
A. 12 November 2010: Being nice, generous and caring... fantastic qualities to have... but utterly useless in attracting most women you've just met if you don't act confident enough to take the risks involved in escalating the interaction to a more "sexually orientated" ... (read in full...)
Her past bothers me a lot and I don't know what to do!
Q. Dear Cupid About two years ago I ment this girl while I was at a bar league softball game! At the time she was 19 and I was 24. I bought her a shot she bought me one back we had some small talk but I didnt have enough courage to persue her! A few we...
A. 12 November 2010: If she didn't have the past that she had, she might not have been able to recognize the good qualities in you...
Without her past she wouldn't be who she is today and she probably wouldn't have even met you, let alone be dating you...
Blessin... (read in full...)
What is the deal with my ex? Why does he keep tossing me around like this?
Q. I had my first boyfriend this summer. We were together for two months and then he dumped me. A lot of people say it isn't such a big deal or what not, but I still had all these feelings for him. It took me a long time to get over him. And it seemed ...
A. 12 November 2010: It is hard to let go of someone- ESPECIALLY your first relationship, and I can totally understand how back and forth your emotions are. But now's not the time to be wishy washy...
I think that if the dinner did happen, it would do nothing ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex say cruel things to hurt me, or was it to get me to leave him alone?
Q. I will try to not make this too long...my boyfriend told me two months ago that he needed a break after only 4 months it was long distance but not impossible to give it a chance! We had just spent a month together he came with me to another contry ...
A. 10 November 2010: You msged a girl on his facebook, whilst broken up, telling her to stay away from him... He's angry, that's why he lashed out. But that doesn't matter anyways does it, because you're going to delete him from your life... right? ... (read in full...)
Will swallowing sperm help me to conceive?
Q. Is it true if a girl swallows sperm can it help her conceive? I was told it helps you get pregnant. Now don't think I'm asking will it get me pregnant I'm asking will it help?...
A. 10 November 2010: GOLD!!... (read in full...)
I get myself into some pretty crazy situations.
Q. Basically , I'm having sex with a cop. I thought it was going to be a one time thing when we met butt it wasn't, and now I'm head over heals for the guy.... I'm 1, 18 in a month and a half. he thinks I'm 19. I plan to tell him when I do turn 18 ...
A. 9 November 2010: The longer you leave it before telling him your real age- the less chance there is of him staying with you. ... (read in full...)
Vaginal infections are ruining my life, is anyone else going through the same thing?
Q. I'm going to ramble on bit here to fill you in on my history of infections, I'd be ever so greatful of some feedback if anyone has any.. I'm 22 years old, and it all started when I was 19. I got a urine infection and got antibiotics from...
A. 9 November 2010: Wow, that really sucks... stupid question, but have you tried switching doctors or seeing a specialist? There's something not quite right here so don't accept the casual attitude of your general G.P. - seek out a good doctor who takes your problem ... (read in full...)
Shower gel or no shower gel?
Q. Is their a Shower Gel or Cream that you can Clean your Vagina with so when he goes down on you..your more irresistible and Tasty??...
A. 9 November 2010: Whats wrong with water? ... (read in full...)
Is my Fiancée lying when he tells me 'he doesn't need Porn because he's got me??
Q. Do you think my Fiance is lieing to me when he tells me 'he dont need Porn because he's got me??...
A. 9 November 2010: You can't adopt a "guilty until proven innocent" stance on this... not every guy uses porn. ... (read in full...)
How to show interest in someone?
Q. I am an 18 year old girl who has never had a boyfirned. Not really even much of a relationship with any guy. All of my friends have had multiple boyfriends and also are not virgins. For the last two guys I've talked to I liked a lot. Things were ...
A. 9 November 2010: Pretty simple really, traditionally speaking- the girl shows a guy interest and gives him the green light that its o.k. for him to approach without getting rejected. Then the guy approaches. If you aren't giving a guy enough green lights, then he ... (read in full...)
Is it true it takes three months for a guy to lose interest in someone?
Q. Just a curious question but how long does a guy usually give up on a girl? Like after they have been seeing each other(not relationship) (just talking or maybe a date). And he thinks the girl is not interested....someone told me three months is ...
A. 9 November 2010: Everybody is different, whoever told you three months- completely pulled that figure out of thin air... Instantly, minutes, hours, days, weeks, years... everybody is completely different, only way to know is to try your luck. ... (read in full...)
I think I'm falling for my professor!
Q. hi im looking for some real advice not just someone telling me im too young or lecturing me. so first off im 16 but have lived through enough my mentality is more like 25 most people think im 21 even. im in college this year and there's a professor ...
A. 9 November 2010: You can try telling the judge you're not 16- that you feel like 25 all you like, its not going to make a lick of difference to him losing his job for life. ... (read in full...)
He's not showing much effort, should I ignore him to get his attention?
Q. I've been getting to know this guy for about 7 months now..were not in a commited relationship, we are just dating. However latley he's has not been calling me as often or showing me the sweet affection I'm use to. I'm big on communication, so I ...
A. 9 November 2010: Well you can try ignoring him if you like, but I'm with strontium on this one... I don't think it'll get you the result that you're hoping for. You may just have to accept that the level of attention you're getting from him is all you're likely to ... (read in full...)
Just stay down.
Q. I've cried more than I have ever cried in my whole life, I've cried so much, that I can't cry anymore. Inside I'm as dead as any corpse. I wanted to love her so much, that everything else lost relevance. She loves another, and I'm left holding the ...
A. 9 November 2010: "Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes."
I know it sucks dude, very few people can't sympathize with you when it ... (read in full...)
His ADD is affecting our sex life. Help!!!
Q. So this guy and I have been together for almost two years. We are both virgins but take part in other sexual activity. Oral, handjobs, dry humping, etc etc. He has always had a really hard time getting me to orgasm but i've always just blamed it ...
A. 9 November 2010: I have ADD and it doesn't stop me from making sure my partner "finishes" every time... Trust me, his shortcomings are not a result of his ADD. ... (read in full...)
Love and happiness?
Q. Is it possible to love someone even though your not happy?...
A. 8 November 2010: Unfortunately... yes.... (read in full...)
From my end our relationship is perfect, but I am worried he does not think the same!
Q. I was in a bar with my boyfriend last night, and there was a pub quiz happening. I wasn't participating, but I heard one of the questions, which was about golf. I generally know nothing about sports, but for some random reason I knew the answer to ...
A. 8 November 2010: I really do think from what you've written that your boyfriend is happy with your relationship- albeit naturally cautious.... (read in full...)
How can I get the girl I like to accept me? Is there even a chance of this happening?
Q. two boys and two girls. Boy B1, Boy B2, Girl G1 and Girl G2. B1 like G1 and B2 like G2. At this point, all of them are just friends, not in a relationship yet. Both boys treated both the girl they like equally. But the outcome is different. In th...
A. 8 November 2010: I'm guessing you are B1...? Well B1, you already know of things that you can do to improve yourself- but if G1 doesn't like B1, then that could all be for naught anyways.
What exactly makes G1 "masculine"? Also- why is B1 so dead set on wooin... (read in full...)
Why do men have emotional affairs when they can just be friends?
Q. my question is very ckommon...why men have emotional affair..if the girl can be just friend so why the boys does not treat like other friends...why they remain texting....although it is simple but it is also a way of connecting and there becomes a ...
A. 8 November 2010: I can't take anyone serious when they bring up the topic of "emotional affairs". Just sounds like a slanderous way to say "my partner has friends of the opposite sex and I want them gone". The word "affair" should be saved for ACTUAL affairs. ... (read in full...)
Do guys accept small breasted girls?
Q. I am a very petite girl with small breasts size cup A. My boyfriend told me he love me for who I am and always kiss and fondle with my small breasts but I feel so sad for him as I think that he loves bigger breasts. I start to feel ashame of ...
A. 8 November 2010: Give me kiera knightly over pamela anderson any day of the week :P... (read in full...)
I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22.
Q. I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22. I'm sick of going to lectures, studying, and then coming home. Every day, nothing happens. I don't meet new people because I'm too big of a loser to go out socializing. ...
A. 8 November 2010: You know that being good with people and sociable is a skill right... Its a skill that anybody can learn. You learn it by going out, putting yourself in social settings, talking to people and generally getting more comfortable around people.
Y... (read in full...)
His ADD is affecting our sex life. Help!!!
Q. So this guy and I have been together for almost two years. We are both virgins but take part in other sexual activity. Oral, handjobs, dry humping, etc etc. He has always had a really hard time getting me to orgasm but i've always just blamed it ...
A. 8 November 2010: ADD really has nothing to do with it.... (read in full...)
Is it possible that this guy could have liked me?
Q. Could this guy have liked me? I went to a pub , and he looked at me a few times. When my friend, who was sat next to me was talking, he leaned sideways to look at me a couple of times (he was sat on another table and my friend was blocking his view ...
A. 8 November 2010: Its amazing how many women seem to think that if guys don't approach that they're "just not that into you"...
What a load of sh*t!
Guys can be really into you but you might not be sending off enough signs that you are interested in hi... (read in full...)
I didn't have sex with her, so will she cheat now?
Q. ok i have a girlfriend and we was suppose to have sex,but i didnt. would she cheat? she told me she would never cheat. ...
A. 8 November 2010: Don't be silly. ... (read in full...)
How might her ADHD affect our relationship?
Q. hello every one now my gf has ADHD and i've been with her for well over a year she takes meds for it but i want to know because of her condition can it lead to problems with our relationship?...
A. 8 November 2010: Not a lot dude. The three main attributes of ADHD are inattention, (difficulty focusing on one thing for long), hyperactivity, (very talkative, active & energetic) and impulsive (acting before thinking of the consequences). There are different ... (read in full...)
If he's into me, why doesn't he just call me?
Q. First, I apologize if this question is too obvious or stupid. But all through hs and well into college, I dated the same guy. That was 6 years of my life. I don't have dating experience, I'm awkward at it, etc. I would like your opinion on if th...
A. 8 November 2010: Yeh, he's def into you IMO... (read in full...)
I've been seeing a married man for 7 years
Q. Hi All I am confussed about this married guy i have been seeing for 7yrs. no i shoudn't be doing this sort of thing yes i do know it's wrong but you can't help you fall in love with either. I donot expect this man to leave his wife there is no...
A. 6 November 2010: He's keeping you on the hook... C'mon, you deserve better than this. You don't say how old you are, but surely its gotten to the point where you actually want someone you can have an actual future and a family of your own with?!... (read in full...)
Dad thinks he's a lackluster boyfriend because he dosen't put me on a pedestal. Is he?
Q. Hello all. I've been with my guy almost 2 years, and things have been pretty smooth. No arguments, though some disagreements. He's my 1st guy, I'm his 4th girl. "Jack" is a nice guy to everyone he meets. Guys or girls, he would give them the sh...
A. 6 November 2010: Not everybody shows their love in the form of flowers, gifts and phone calls just to say "hello". Its just not in everybody's personality to be like that. Is he expressing his love in other ways? Cooking you dinner for example?
Your dad coul... (read in full...)
He wants to move and doesn't want kids and we can't agree on these things!
Q. PLEASE help me! My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years now. He is 36 and I'm almost 28. He has two children from a previous marriage, and I've never been married although I have been in serious relationships before. He and I get along ...
A. 6 November 2010: I'll keep it short and simple. Assume that you can't change him and that he won't budge on this issue.
Though it isn't your ideal scenario- its the most realistic one... You wouldn't like it- but would you still be with him if it turned o... (read in full...)
Should you be with someone who doesn't love you?
Q. I'm on/off with my ex at the moment, i won't go into details. We have been together for about a year (although not at the moment), but as I am away at university the relationship is a bit strained as we didnt get a chance to see eachother that ...
A. 6 November 2010: Well that's a tricky one. You shouldn't be with someone who doesn't love you... of course not, that's a no-brainer... But here's the thing, how long has it been since you said that you loved him? A few days? Not everybody says "I love you" at the ... (read in full...)
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