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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Should I try smoking?
Q. smoking should i try it or not? cause i want to. hi, this question isnt about relationship, i already posted one aobut that, anyway, i want to try somking but im only 14 some its not like i can go out and buy them or say to my parents " i want...
A. 10 October 2010: I actually bookmarked this page because of your post AuntieSnap... those are some scary facts. ... (read in full...)
He wants to take my virginity... and I'm scared I'll lose him if I say no.
Q. Am a 14 year old girl with a 17 year old boyfriend who wants 2 have 6 kids with me in the future. the thing is now he wants 2 break my virginity. I am still a virgin and am not ready. I dont wanna loose it. He's the best boyfriend ive ever had ...
A. 10 October 2010: Don't you dare have sex with him because you're afraid to lose him if you don't!
He's the best boyfriend you've had in your life? You're only 14... you probably haven't had a real boyfriend before him to compare- so how would you know what a g... (read in full...)
I want more action from my FWB
Q. how in the world do you make a fwb want more sex? its frustrating because we do it every few months. thats not fun. any pointers?...
A. 10 October 2010: Being a FWB, you probably don't know how much sex he's getting elsewhere or with how many different girls. He could be getting sex every night and coming to you when his other FWB's are busy or at that "time of the month". If that's the case then ... (read in full...)
A Glimpse into Love
Q. I'm the kind of girl who goes around barefoot, fights pessimism daily, and has thoughts wild enough to graze with antelope. I've heard love on the radio- songs that sigh heartbreak or gush with joy at finding someone who truly grasped their he...
A. 10 October 2010: Is this what romance novels are like..?... (read in full...)
I miss her so much and she blocked me from calling her and she wont call me again?
Q. I miss my ex so much I cant stop thanking about her I don't know what to do any more. She was my first in bed In I know she still loves me she calls me up still some times saying that she is missing me but why is she blocking me from calling her is ...
A. 10 October 2010: You let her go and you move on with your life.
The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
So where do you think you're at? I'd say somewhere between bargaining and depression as you're still try... (read in full...)
Does she like me the same way as I like her?
Q. There is a girl that I really really like and we are friends. But I'm not sure if she likes me the same way as I like her. We talk to each other all of the time. She smiles and laughs a little only some of the time. We went to the fair when it came ...
A. 10 October 2010: You may be stuck in the "friends zone", but off the top of my head, some signs that she might be interested are:
If she touches you a lot, (like she's looking for excuses to touch you).
She is playful, teases you, pinches, punches etc.
... (read in full...)
DId she just want a one night stand?
Q. I met this girl only a few days ago at a my school's homecoming parade. When I met her I was trying to get some candy for my little cousin since the people on the parade floats were throwing it. When I bumped into her we immediately started talking ...
A. 10 October 2010: How could she love you when she only just met you? She obviously wanted sex otherwise she wouldn't have invited you, (almost a complete stranger) inside. Whether she just wanted a one night stand or maybe more depends on if she gave you her number ... (read in full...)
While separated, wife had sex with 5 other guys and I can't deal with it!
Q. I have been married for 15 years and last year me and my wife were separated all of last year....We have since gotten back together however while we were separated she has had sex with 5 guys...I know because she keeps everything in her ...
A. 10 October 2010: I think this may just take a little bit of time to wrap your head around is all.
You have many many ways to rationalize this, I just think you need to actually internalize it.
You were with 20 women, she was with 5 men. Who was the slut in ... (read in full...)
Invading partners privacy....how wrong is it
Q. 3 weeks ago I broke up with my bf (whom I had been with for 4 months) after I read his emails and found out he's been meeting another woman. He apologised and tried to get me back (he didn't know that I read his emails , I just told him I don't ...
A. 10 October 2010: It is wrong, wrong, WRONG.
You can't have a healthy relationship without trust.
You can't have a healthy relationship without communication.
Snooping suggests problems with both.
But that's just me... I'm a loyal, faithful guy and ... (read in full...)
I'm really pretty but can be rude unnitentionally!
Q. okay I'm 16 and i have never had a problem with a guy liking me or noticing me because im really pretty my problem is that im really rude and most of the time its not on purpose and idk what to do plus im scared to do anything like even make out ! i ...
A. 10 October 2010: What exactly is the question?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend moving away and I'm addicted to sex! what do I do?
Q. what do i do if my boyfriend is moving away and i cant see him that much anymore and my hormones always raging and i dont know how to stay faithful and loyal to him because i keep thinking about sex i need some advise on wat to do bcuz i dont want ...
A. 10 October 2010: Get a good vibrator or get a new boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Should I try smoking?
Q. smoking should i try it or not? cause i want to. hi, this question isnt about relationship, i already posted one aobut that, anyway, i want to try somking but im only 14 some its not like i can go out and buy them or say to my parents " i want...
A. 10 October 2010: I tried my first cigarette when I was 22, figured I was an adult, knew the risks and could control myself.
Starts off just bumming cigarettes...
Then after a month or two you buy one packet cos you're sick of asking people for theirs...
... (read in full...)
Can I keep seeing my professor, or is it a lost cause?
Q. About a week ago, under fairly casual and normal circumstances I accepted a ride home from my college professor. The classes I take are evening classes part time, and he is not employed by the college directly, but began teaching this past ...
A. 10 October 2010: Well if you keep seeing him, its an affair. He's a married man. It will become trashy gossip and damage your level of integrity... because it is and it does.
You're a smart girl, you can see that there is trouble ahead if you follow this any... (read in full...)
Why do people say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
Q. I am a bit confused about this people say that the beauty is the eye of the beholder but in this world we tend to look at beauty in a different way; It's been said that people who are beautiful gets the best of everything good ...
A. 8 October 2010: I'm gonna go a bit deeper than I probably should here..
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder means that different people will find different things beautiful and that the differences of opinion don't matter greatly.
How is that not true of soci... (read in full...)
What do men think when they see this?
Q. I've seen a lot of questions about breats but haven't bumped into something like this: what do you men think when you can see the shape of a womans nipple, like if she's cold and gets hard nipples, or maybe she's not wearing a brassier and u can ...
A. 8 October 2010: Yeh, wot dirtball said...
Seeing this on a drunk trashy girl in a club = bad
Seeing this on a business woman when she takes off her
blazer = hot! :D... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned about my wife's new friend?
Q. I am a 26 year old guy who is married to a very attractive 24 year old. We have been married for almost 3 years. My wife has reciently made a couple of guy friends at her job, and one of witch she exchanged numbers with. They text back and forth ...
A. 8 October 2010: She shows you his texts, tells you what he says- even when he told her she was hot... If you're not jealous then I wouldn't say anything, she seems like a great wife to be honest.
... (read in full...)
Why won't he make a move?!?
Q. So me and my guy have been dating for just a little over a month. I know he really likes me because he's told me and we've also talked about being more than friends. Everything is going great, the only problem is he won't make a move! Like nothing! ...
A. 8 October 2010: This ain't the 1920's... make a move yourself and maybe he'll see that as a green light for him to make moves.
He probably thinks that he's being respectful in my opinion, or he's just shy.... (read in full...)
Why do so many marriages fail?
Q. Why do marriages fail? So many people get married, and feel that they are marrying their true love, while imagining that they will be together forever. They have relationships where the committment is "iffy" and there are lies and betrayals before m...
A. 8 October 2010: My opinion, in a nutshell...
I think many people think that once they get married that their problems with their partner will be over,that they'll change, that they'll treat them better etc.. I don't think marriage instantly solves everyone... (read in full...)
I have insanely strong feelings for my history teacher!
Q. I have insanely strong feelings for my history teacher. He's 28, im 16. Ever since the first day I saw him I've had this massive desire to be around him. I think a lot of it might be lust, but I dont know..some of the things I feel are deeper than ...
A. 8 October 2010: My vote is on imagining. Well, more looking for the tiniest, most insignificant and irrelevant interactions with your teacher that could possibly reinforce your fantasy that he likes you in the way that you like him...
I'm sorry for the bluntnes... (read in full...)
Oral sex question for the ladies... workin' on technique!
Q. So, I have a short goatee... not 5 o clock shadow just a tad bit longer that can create a nice maybe sandpaper feel lol.... do ladies like this if im goin' down on one? Like if I rub my trimmed beard against their clitorus? I'm workin on technique ...
A. 8 October 2010: I occasionally get lazy with shaving, generally no more than a week and in my "travels" I find it depends on the lady really. Some may find direct contact with the clit to be a bit much, some may love it, others won't even notice. I think the best ... (read in full...)
Friend's appearance problem is bugging me!
Q. Whenever I talk to my friend whom is really gorgeous and cute.. she always gets the topic of appearances up. She tells me that I'm so pretty and that she herself is so ugly and lower than dirt. It was fine at first, telling her over and over that ...
A. 7 October 2010: Yeh I agree with xanthic... there really ain't anything more that you can do. You expressed your opinion and she's chosen to ignore it.
Plastic surgery on her eyes?? That is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. If its just to try to make her... (read in full...)
Nearly 30 and single, how can I get my love life back?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles I'm fearing I'm going to be alone forever. I'm almost 30, quite pretty, intelligent and training to be primary school teacher. But it seems everyone but 'me is in a serious relationship and happy. I had a boyf on and o...
A. 5 October 2010: I'll shoot from the hip here...
It sounds like you kept him on a rope as your back up guy and now you want him because you can't have him... Since he was your back up guy you never had to worry about one day maybe winding up old and alone. ... (read in full...)
I want to masturbate with my friend
Q. I know my friend masturbates and I want to masterbate with her but I don't know how to ask....
A. 5 October 2010: Yeh, I never really thought of masturbation as a group activity...
Why do you want her there?... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm cute but, wont talk to me!!
Q. so there is this guy and we both know of eachother we have one class together. he works as a bouncer at this bar i often go to. we have never realy talked much just rare casual convos. so one night i was just talking to while he was working kinda ...
A. 5 October 2010: I've worked in a nightclub for a few years now and you have to remember that bouncers are in a position where they CAN talk to customers... but they are still working. If a manager sees that they are talking to a girl instead of watching the crowd ... (read in full...)
Husband after marriage asked about my past and then served me with divorce papers!
Q. My husband and I are married for 10 months. Right after we got married he strictly asked me if there was anything about my past I wanted to share. So I believe in you marry your best friend and I told him somethings that I had done that I'm not so ...
A. 5 October 2010: Sad story :(
When you think about it in a positive light, this is probably for the best. At least he realized that this was something that he couldn't live with without resenting you for and didn't drag it out. Who knows how his resentme... (read in full...)
I want a baby with my boyfriend, but he doesn't. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. At the beginning of the relationship I was pregnant with another mans baby, I decided to have a termination due to the circumstances in which it was conceived. Now I'm desperate to be pregnant ...
A. 3 October 2010: He changed because if you had another man's baby it wasn't his responsibility, but if you had his baby on the other hand...
He's clearly not ready- and after 6 months dating, rightly so... ... (read in full...)
Why do all I attract is Jerks?
Q. I am a 21 year old female. I know I have a good head on my shoulders. I am a fulltime college student, and more importantly, I know where I want to go and where I want to be in life. Ok, now on to the juicy stuff. I just dont understand why I always ...
A. 3 October 2010: "i just dont know what to do to stop attracting these low lifes and losers."
Stop BEING attracted to low lifes and losers...
You should be screening these guys out before they even have a chance to see your bedroom door. And if that means ma... (read in full...)
His behaviour did not change when he was told I like him as more than a friend
Q. Dear Cupid, I fell for one of my best guy friends a year ago, and things have been interesting. I was going to tell my friend (We'll call him "Nick") about my feelings, but something got in the way and I didn't have the appropriate timing. ...
A. 2 October 2010: A girl a while back got her friend to tell me that she liked me and my behavior didn't change toward her either... why? Cos I had already figured that out for myself and had no intention of progressing the friendship further.
I wouldn't get your... (read in full...)
Is porn cheating?
Q. I don't no weather porn is cheating but every time I find out he is doing it he lies to me and says am inscure but when he promess he wouldt haw does he excpect me to react ????...
A. 1 October 2010: No. It can be many things, but it can't be classed as cheating.... (read in full...)
How can you justify looking at violent or rape porn?
Q. I don't just mean like being beaten and screaming, I mean the stuff where the woman gets her head shoved in a toilet, where the guy does anything until she cries or gags, etc... Why is that OK to get off on so long as it's not child porn or ...
A. 1 October 2010: "Where did you get the idea that anyone thought that was ok? Who says that is ok?"
That's also what I'd like to know...... (read in full...)
Is she just keeping me around because I help with her child so much?
Q. I had been dating someone for about 6 months, she had a 2 year old from a previous relationship. things were going great then out of the blue she decided that she was feeling too much pressure being in this serious of a relationship. A few weeks ...
A. 1 October 2010: Sounds to me like she's keeping you on the hook to be honest... basically a back up guy.... (read in full...)
Does it automatically make someone selfish if they don't want kids?
Q. My parents are devastated that I had a vasectomy years ago and that I don't want to have kids. But my question is...why do people accuse me of being selfish because of this? How is it selfish if someone doesn't want kids? My mum said this genera...
A. 1 October 2010: Sounds to me that your mum is the one being selfish in that she wants grand-kids, regardless of what you actually want. ... (read in full...)
Are all men as obsessed as my husband is over genital size, mine and his??
Q. My husband has been messing with my head for eight years telling me I'm big down there and him is small. However he's 5.5 to 6 inches, and today at the gyno I finally had the courage to ask and she said, I'm not big, just average, down there width ...
A. 1 October 2010: It makes me sad how so many people are always comparing themselves to others and what the media/advertising "suggest" we should be like. Am I normal, am I too fat, am I too short, am I too tall, am I ugly... it just goes on an on... Why worry ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend expects me to have sex with him he's 14 I'm 15!
Q. Im 15 years old,and im having problems with my boyfriend last night he asked me what my bases are and i told him and now he wants to have sex with me! he is a year younger than me too! I love him and i dont want to break up with him cause that will ...
A. 1 October 2010: "i told him no and he walked away from me all sad"
Sounds like more emotional black mail to me...... (read in full...)
Men only question, would you be interested in a woman like me??
Q. For men only! I have 34c breasts. I weigh 165 am 5' 10" dirty blonde hair. I am shy. My eyes are brownish green. By what I told u would u be interested in me?...
A. 1 October 2010: Maybe you should put your photo on www. hotornot .com
if you're just concerned about what people think about your looks. The better question is why are you asking this question? Are you finding it hard to find a boyfriend? There's so much more... (read in full...)
Boyfriend expects me to have sex with him he's 14 I'm 15!
Q. Im 15 years old,and im having problems with my boyfriend last night he asked me what my bases are and i told him and now he wants to have sex with me! he is a year younger than me too! I love him and i dont want to break up with him cause that will ...
A. 29 September 2010: I agree with what birdynumnums said...
"This is sexual blackmail. Not love."
If you're in love with somebody, you don't sexually blackmail them... ever.
He's thinking with his johnson, not with his heart and I think you'll be so disappointe... (read in full...)
How do I get a satisfying love life?
Q. I turn 32 years old in a month and I've had three relationships, lasting from 2 weeks to 3 months and two one-night stands. The last was 6 months ago after a 5 year dry spell. Is this a sign of serious trouble? I definitely feel unsatisfied with ...
A. 29 September 2010: As cerberus said... get out there and actively meet new women. Can't expect women to knock on your door while you're watching TV.... (read in full...)
When naked, do women still want to be treated with respect?
Q. I have found that when women are naked, they still want to be treated with respect. And I don't have the answers to all life's questions, but I want to know something...Do women prefer being treated with respect, or do the enjoy being ...
A. 29 September 2010: "naked or not i demand respect"
*High five*
In my experience, only when a woman KNOWS you respect her will she maybe be ok with doing "disrespectful" things in the bedroom... If you show her you respect her by not even suggesting and e... (read in full...)
Is it time to leave?
Q. i have been with my current partner for 11 years. he refuses to get a job to help with the bills. If he gets any money he will spend it on drink. he is verbally abusive and on a few occasions in drink he has been physically abusive. i am at the end ...
A. 29 September 2010: Well if that's the way you choose to describe him then you're really just looking for people to tell you to leave him... There's really no-one of sane mind who could tell you to stay with him after that description.
But yeh, for what its wort... (read in full...)
Are careless people happy?
Q. I'm asking because I see so many people who don't seem to fear anything. They are at easy with every situation, they don't put much effort into whether things go the right or the wrong way. When it comes to serious stuff, they just do what they have ...
A. 29 September 2010: Not giving a damn what all but your closest friends & family think of you is the greatest feeling in the world in my opinion. I'm a massive over-thinker but when I realize I'm worrying about something stupid, someones opinion of me or something I ... (read in full...)
Will he ever commit to me?
Q. scared he may never commit? Me and my fella been seeing each other coming up to 9 months. Before he got with me he had been broken up with his ex of 8 years for 7 months. We broke up a month after dating because he told me that he thought he wa...
A. 29 September 2010: Leading you on... absolutely not. 8 years is a freakin' long time, its not about her being better than you or anything, he simply wants to make sure that his relationship with you can last the distance. ... (read in full...)
What are some birthday ideas for my friend?
Q. Hi ppl. Um male 21. Its my best friend's birthday next week. She s quiet and shy type of girl. What should i get her for her birthday? Any ideas? Any sweet and thoughtful ideas? Thanks in advance ppl. :)...
A. 29 September 2010: A good hair straightener??... (read in full...)
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