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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Is it realistic to think that she could leave him for good and come with me?
Q. A few months ago I came across a girl a knew from years back. We started talking and texting. And as time went by we would do it more frequently. At this point I was falling for her but I didnt want to tell her because I she had a boyfriend. Well ...
A. 20 September 2010: Why hasn't she left him already is the real question...
She's not married to him, doesn't have a kid with him... what possible reason could she be with him still if she is truly in love with you.
Is it possible that she could do the same to y... (read in full...)
Should I put up with her behaviour for the sake of the relationship? Or is this just unacceptable?
Q. My girlfriend continues to force things I don't like on me after I told her I don't like them [ie I tell her I'm not a cat person/allergic, she keeps dumping her cats in my lap; I tell her I don't like going certain places and she still always ...
A. 20 September 2010: She keeps dumping cats on you after you've told her you're allergic? lol, that's weird..
It kinda depends on how often these things happen... and what places does she insist on going to? Do you suggest alternative places? Do you go out with her... (read in full...)
Is this age difference wrong?
Q. I'm a 23 year old guy in love with a 32 year old woman who loves me back, is that considered wrong or bad? ...
A. 20 September 2010: meh, not really.... (read in full...)
Is the loyal boyfriend thing an act to keep her with him so he can mess around on the side with people like me?
Q. Hello :) Ok, well a guy i know, who but what people have told me has a bit of a reputation, has been sending innapropriate texts to me and a few other people, sexual ones. He has a gf and from seeing photos of him and her, and her family etc... ...
A. 20 September 2010: If the "real" him is a dirty scumbag... then yes. ... (read in full...)
Frustrated with a world of jerks
Q. why do pretty girls seem to go through more heartbreak. It seems that no one is safe from being used and abused no matter what their appearance. I am not saying that I'm the "Queen of the Universe" but I have always been told I am very attractive. ...
A. 20 September 2010: There's a million books out there on why women fall for jerks, might be the most useful place to start if you're looking for insight?
Best of luck :)... (read in full...)
How do I make her realise that anyone but her ex is a better choice?
Q. So I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now, and we've been on several dates. Everything has worked out well up until now. But last night, she told me that her ex-boyfriend is acting like he wants to get back with her. The breakup hurt ...
A. 20 September 2010: I understand that you want to her to realize that anyone is better than him, but that's something that you aren't going to be able to do... she has to figure that out for herself unfortunately.
No amount of logical talk from you is going to... (read in full...)
I'm 24, she's 16. Is it okay to have sex with her?
Q. I'm in a quandary, I have met a girl via the internet, to have a sexual relationship with her. Originally she said she was 18, it turns out she is only 16, she had sex with an older guy ( i'm 25) and older female. I have never had sex. She wants sex ...
A. 20 September 2010: Yeh dude, this ain't right.
Virgin or not, you're better than this. ... (read in full...)
Whats does this guy mean, what sort of fun?
Q. A guy i know, who has a gf i might add, text me and my friend the same night, something like "we should meet up soon ;)" my friend called me the next morning and told me he'd text her and i told her he'd text me too. I never replied but she did she ...
A. 20 September 2010: sex :P... (read in full...)
How do you treat it when your boyfriend wants to take a break?
Q. When your boyfriend of 2 years asks for "space" or "a break" for a while, because he wants to do his own thing for a while (no other explanation offered by him, no matter how much I pry), how should I treat it? Should I treat it as him leaving m...
A. 18 September 2010: There is a middle ground here... Just say, "ok, well seeya" and nothing more.
If he asks what you mean by that then just stay as vague as he is clearly being with you. Just put out the vibe that you're a free woman during this "break" and if y... (read in full...)
We made love, and then he tells me that he's moving overseas!
Q. I have admired this guy for years and recently we got closer and made love. Now he tells me he is going to live overseas next May, the day after we make love. I would never have made love if I knew this. I don't know how to feel or what to say. I ...
A. 17 September 2010: "he is not trustworthy. Inform his parent n c how they react. He got to be expose of taking advantage of ppl. Last resort report to police on rape."
What the?!... (read in full...)
G/f wants ring like her previous b/f gave her. This really makes me feel like I'm not special!
Q. Hello everyone, I've been dating this girl for almost a year and ever since we met, we've been hooked to each other. We are truly in love and would die if anything happened to one of us. In the past, I've had many issues with coping with her past, ...
A. 17 September 2010: ... I may have misread this... Are you saying that she wants you to buy her the EXACT same ring that her ex got her...?
Because that would change everything.... (read in full...)
I cheated and now boyfriend is still so jealous! Is this normal?
Q. iN THE past i cheated on my bf various times, n he forgave me, but now, he is extremly jealous, iff i dont call him every day, he gets upset, n if i delete a post on facebook, he thinks im hiding something. What do I do, is this normal?? Enough time ...
A. 17 September 2010: "Jealousy is ALWAYS about personal insecurity and low/bad self esteem/worth. He needs to get into some kind of self confidence training (google: self worth) and then MAYBE he will be able to get over your cheating - MAYBE."
Always?? No offense ... (read in full...)
My new acting job has got me worried! Advice?
Q. I'm not sure what to do. I registered to be an extra in a film, or Supporting Artist, as it's also known . They filmed some scenes yesterday in London , and they are filming some tomorrow and a week on Saturday. I registered to do the scenes a week ...
A. 17 September 2010: I did it once for a crappy low budget film. It was boring as anything, everybody had to do the same thing over an over and honestly- don't worry about your acting ability... generally extras just do all the normal boring people stuff in the back ... (read in full...)
He played me now I work with him!
Q. I'm a gay 19 year old guy, I usually go down to the bar in city for a few drinks (its the only gay bar in the city I live). I got chatting to a bar staff that night and we hit it off instantly. About a month later we were both on a night out and ...
A. 17 September 2010: Well no offense dude, but he clearly blew you off to begin with... In getting a job where he works, surely you'd have known that you'd eventually be in an awkward/confronting situation with him...?... (read in full...)
What does it mean when women press their boobs into you?
Q. What does it mean when girls push their breasts against you, or brush their breasts against you, when in conversation or whatever? Over the years I have met many women who do this. It is not the majority, but certainly not a small minority e...
A. 17 September 2010: Unless the palms come into play, I've never found it to mean anything really... generally just that she has a touchy feel-y personality.
The fact that she does it in front of your wife makes this lady sound completely oblivious to what her boob... (read in full...)
Can you be in love even though you have not met?
Q. hi am 18 years old and i met a man for several months we do chatting and we fell in-love with each other I do not know but i am in-love or not? i break up with my bf and told my suitors i have found him, i did not meet him yet in person i feel ...
A. 17 September 2010: You can love the idea of someone for sure, but how can you love someone that you haven't met and don't fully know yet? Endless MSN conversations, skype and SMS do not mean that you know this person in their entirety...
They may be exactly as they... (read in full...)
Why do girls only see me as a friend? should I change my game plan?
Q. why do most girls i like and ask out, say they only see me as a friend? im 18 and a really funny guy and everyone loves me!!i think.. because everytime i goto a party or foot ball game or something everyones like BBBARRRYY!! and im like ...
A. 17 September 2010: There's a difference between "Ha-ha" funny and being "playful/teasing" funny. I think it was tom hanks who summed it up best when he said that he'd "never laughed a girl into bed".
Focus more on flirting than trying to make her laugh would be... (read in full...)
G/f wants ring like her previous b/f gave her. This really makes me feel like I'm not special!
Q. Hello everyone, I've been dating this girl for almost a year and ever since we met, we've been hooked to each other. We are truly in love and would die if anything happened to one of us. In the past, I've had many issues with coping with her past, ...
A. 17 September 2010: How is it pointless or less special if you're truly in love and would die if something happened to her?... (read in full...)
Wise Relationship Advice
Q. There are several varieties of relationships available. You can choose between open or closed, serious or not serious or the ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement that is currently popular. Which ever you choose, he must agree with it or the ...
A. 16 September 2010: "Listen to him without looking for hidden meanings or defensively filtering his message. The ’silent treatment’ and the ‘using sex as a reward’ treatment are childish games. Any use of them immediately diminishes your credibility"
Amen to that.
... (read in full...)
I cheated and now boyfriend is still so jealous! Is this normal?
Q. iN THE past i cheated on my bf various times, n he forgave me, but now, he is extremly jealous, iff i dont call him every day, he gets upset, n if i delete a post on facebook, he thinks im hiding something. What do I do, is this normal?? Enough time ...
A. 15 September 2010: Karma. Deal with it.... (read in full...)
Why does he wanna do that?? does it mean anything?
Q. i met this guy a few months ago.. he seems really different. (nice guy) hes really sweet but is too early to tell so am just hoping.. we are just getting to know each other at the moment. he wants to add my brother on the xbox so he play...
A. 15 September 2010: He's trying to win them over.... (read in full...)
I feel like he's become distant since I told him how I felt about him
Q. Hi, I am a 17-year old (just today, actually) that is quite confused right now. I've been in love with a guy (straight) for 4 years now, and I'm not quite sure how to get over him, as I really want to. We'll both be graduating from high school soon, ...
A. 14 September 2010: If you want him to be able to be friends with you again then stop bringing up the topic of you liking him... just never speak of it again.... (read in full...)
Does he really care or what??
Q. Okay so me and my boyfriend have been at it for sometime. But three days ago I called it through a text message bc lately he'd been acting like he was too busy for me. I texted him and said "dont worry about calling me back, i dont want it anymore" ...
A. 14 September 2010: That you broke up with him...... (read in full...)
Will the cops come looking for us in the hotel?
Q. I am married and want to have sex with my girlfriend(she is unmarried)in a hotel room. IS it legal? Can we spend a night in a hotel room without luggage and simply by saying that we want to spend time together without worrying about the cops ...
A. 14 September 2010: Yes, thats the first place the cops will look... don't have this affair, the cops are everywhere and they will find you.... (read in full...)
Is he just dragging me along till he finds someone else?
Q. k so my boyfriend broke up with me.. but i really just can't get over him. he told me he loved me every night but then he went me a message saying he's getting burnt out and that he needs to mature more before having a serious relationship and that ...
A. 12 September 2010: Don't you dare sleep with this guy while you're not going out with him... seriously, he'll use you whilst still looking around for someone else to move on with...
Don't give in, no matter what he says to try and "woo" you. ... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to perform oral sex?
Q. Hi. I really want my girlfriend to suck me off. She used to do it a few times when she was drunk but now she won't do it at all. I am the soul pleasure giver and go out of my way to please her every time, sometimes spending hours at a time ...
A. 12 September 2010: Well you could just stop giving her oral sex until she starts giving it to you... but then it all turns into a bit of a mind game...
Have you tried actually talking to her yet..??
If she was doing it to you before but only when she was dru... (read in full...)
Just found out I am pregnant, I was doing drugs and drinking and now I'm worried about the baby!
Q. i just found out i'm about 4 weeks pregnant. i got drunk last night and i have drank heavily another 2 times in the past four weeks. i also tried cocaine for the first time when i must have been 3 weeks pregnant. i had about 3 lines and i'm really ...
A. 12 September 2010: Wait for a scan. Druggies and drunks can still have perfectly normal babies, they're just not recommended lifestyles as the risk of abnormalities increases.
Don't beat yourself up either way... you didn't know you were pregnant and had you know... (read in full...)
I want a steady boyfriend and excitement on the side!
Q. I'm 14 and I have one of those boyfriends that everyone says is a 'great guy'. And he is. He's generous, good-looking, absolutely adores me and has never betrayed my trust and I don't think ever wants to. I lost my virginity to him at 13 and we've ...
A. 12 September 2010: Yeh, you do... unless you want to continue being, as you said, an "adulterous bitch".
... (read in full...)
I have feelings for him but he treats me like his big brother
Q. I'm bi-curios and I love this guy who just treats me as his Big Brother, He still doesn't know that I have this feeling for him, what do I do? Please I need help....
A. 12 September 2010: Stupid question... but is he bi/gay or straight?... (read in full...)
How do you present yourself towards society?
Q. My question revolves around how you act/present yourself towards society and what you actually, REALLY think. I know this is not DIRECTLY linked to love or anything to this site. But even so I wanted you to share your thoughs. Usually we wil...
A. 12 September 2010: I understand where you're coming from but I'm a tad unsure what the actual question is... Could you elaborate? ... (read in full...)
He's hurt me so much, but I still love him!
Q. I been with my ex four years. He have hurt me soo much pain but I still love him. He knows the fact that I love him and he take advantage of that. We have been broke up for 5 months and my feelings keeping getting stronger. I think about him every ...
A. 12 September 2010: Is this the first time that you guys have broken up or was this an on-again, off-again relationship?... (read in full...)
My ex is dating my best friend--he promised he wouldn't do that!
Q. I just found out that my ex-girlfriend of a month, who im still crazy in love with, just began a relationship with my bestfriend. i am beyond severly angry at both of them and also feel betrayed, especially since my ex and i agreed we wouldnt date ...
A. 12 September 2010: There's not a lot that you can do here mate. Getting enraged at them probably won't break them up and certainly won't make her want to get back together with you...
I've been on both sides of the fence in this situation. Best thing to do is ju... (read in full...)
Its so hard to find someone!
Q. Hi I'm 22 going on 23 this March. While that doesn't seem old at all, just this summer I had my first boyfriend. We lasted only 2 months, though it was an experience I guess. He dumped me because we rushed it and he went from crazy about me the firs...
A. 12 September 2010: Try not to base your current feelings and worries on just this one short relationship. Sometimes you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince/princess... my one question to you: are you actively trying to meet new frogs regularly??
I thi... (read in full...)
She doesn't love me she says? But I beg to differ.
Q. (Yes, i know,move on ,many fishes in the sea. I'm a picky person, im not really into relationship nor do i go of and look for one,Take this into consideration. I know im young but its now that counts.) Over her one month vacation she tells me and ...
A. 12 September 2010: Ok, so I've weeded out the points I feel are most important in your post:
"I then ask her ''is there ever gonna be an us?'' She goes on to say ''For now no, i can't see myself with you anymore (Another thing i can't believe)as for the future, ... (read in full...)
She lied to me about having sex with someone else!
Q. Me and my girlfriend dated for 2 yrs and have a kid together..and on the firt day we broke up she had sex with another guy..we got back together and she lied to me for 8 months that she didn't do anything with him and all I do is think about her ...
A. 12 September 2010: So are you more concerned that she lied to you about it for 8 months or that you can't stop thinking about her having sex with him?... (read in full...)
Virgin and totally freaked out!
Q. Hello. I really need some answers. 2 days ago me and my boyfriend were hanging out. I was topless, he wasnt, and i had my underwear and jeans on and he had his boxers and shorts on. He was on top of my and his penis was pretty much on my vagina, ...
A. 12 September 2010: Nah...... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm pregnant and I'm not with the potential father
Q. im 15 (nearly 16) and i went to a party where one of my best friend(male) was aand we all got really drunk and then we had sex... i thought nothing else of it because i knew we used protection. about a month later i ate my breakfast and then ...
A. 12 September 2010: Go to the doctors or buy a pregnancy test before you even consider telling your parents you could be pregnant...
If you used protection then there's a good chance that you aren't pregnant. You could just be paranoid because of what your aun... (read in full...)
I Told my cousin I like her. She said no but we're still good friends.
Q. For about a week or two now I have been tormented with a realization. I fell in love with my first cousin. The more I tried to ignore it, and pretend it wasn't there (I live with her and her brothers) the more obvious it became that something was ...
A. 12 September 2010: Ouch... You may have come across a bit strong here mate...
Emotions make people do silly things and talking about states that allow cousins to marry and birth defect statistics between cousins JUST after you've told her that you like her... ... (read in full...)
My GF claims that I don't love her as much as she loves me!
Q. just recently i am my girlfriend have been having problems. we meet in school and we are still schooling together. i love my girl friend but i got the feeling that she loves me more and she shows it more than do because i usually have more self ...
A. 12 September 2010: First things first... do you see yourself having a future with this girl? ... (read in full...)
Guys: How beautiful would a girl have to be for you to cheat with her?
Q. They say that a guy may not purposely go out to find someone to cheat with, but that if someone latches on to THEM, they would be willing to cheat. Guys, how beautiful would a girl have to be in order to get you to cheat on your significant other ...
A. 12 September 2010: I think its not about looks as much as it is for the "other" girl to be in the right place at the right time.
A random girl showing a guy a lot of interest just after he's had a massive fight with his girlfriend would be a good example.... (read in full...)
We have nothing to talk about!
Q. my boyfriend and i have nothing to talk about even when we talk about the day it goes no where help plz...
A. 12 September 2010: Why on earth are you with him then?... (read in full...)
We made love, and then he tells me that he's moving overseas!
Q. I have admired this guy for years and recently we got closer and made love. Now he tells me he is going to live overseas next May, the day after we make love. I would never have made love if I knew this. I don't know how to feel or what to say. I ...
A. 12 September 2010: Yeh, I think older sister hit the nail on the head.
If you think that when you make love that its forever then maybe in the future you should date for much longer before jumping in the sack.... (read in full...)
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