A
male
age
30-35,
*orChe
writes:Hi, I have a question regarding my girlfriend and her PMS. I know that it is a stressful time for a girl as the hormones are running wild, but should it be an excuse to act like a spoiled brat?Me and my girlfriend, who are both 20 years old, went to my brothers wedding. This was the same day that my girlfriends period began (much to my delight...) We were dancing and having a good time, when I was called over to help my brother with something, because I was the best man. So I left my girlfriend to kind of mingle around (but she is too shy it seems to want social interactions by herself,) so she went and sat by herself. When I was done I came back and asked her to dance to a fast song, but she didn't want to, so I said "okay" and asked her if I can go dance by myself. She said yes. After some dancing this girl (married) came to me and asked why my girlfriend isn't dancing with me and that I should go over and drag her out. My girl was watching this the whole time, with a furious look on her face. So I went over to her and asked her to dance again, and told her about the cute little chat me and the other girl had. The fire began burning in her eyes and made an embarrassing public display of stomping off, half crying. I didn't know what to do because she ran to the women's bathroom, so I waited, and just danced a little more with the wedding party. After she came back, she was very sad. For what I do not know. She said it is because of PMS, and that she's sorry. My Question: Is it okay to blame PMS on every emotional (and often times public) outburst. It's always embarrassing chasing my crying girlfriend in front of 100's of people. Should I be more considerate? Or is PMS a legitimate excuse?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 May 2013):
 Sometimes the cramps and pains can be horrible. If that happened I would sometimes go to bed earlier. But if it is really bad then a visit to the Doctor is a good idea.
At the same time it comes down to personality. Some people are positive and some people are often on the look out for something to complain about to excuse their own unacceptable words, behavior or actions.
So if a girl is using PMS as the excuse for rudeness, being too judgemental or just being thoroughly disagreeable then call her out on that behavior, those words, her actions and expect her to realize that she went too far.
It is unfair to expect others to have to endure 12 bouts of this behaviour year after year. Most girls learn to adapt and take some time out in the form of earlier nights or taking better care of themselves at that time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): Me personally...I like to be babied lol.
But actually, its painful for me the first day so if im pissed off that day, im pissed off the rest of the week,and idk how ur girlyfriend is but, treat her nice let her be comfortable.Dont..under any circumstances dont irritate her.Now i not saying do as she says or what she wants, just love her like you would.
If ya get pushed away or she doesnt want to talk, give her space and try a little bit later ok.
Every girl is different so you'll get different responces.And it doesnt mean that everything'll work for your girl, so try a little bit at a time.
Good luck, xoxo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): It isnt an excuse.Thats not acting like a spoiled brat, maybe to a guy.But you have nooo idea how pms really is.
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A
male
reader, ForChe +, writes (11 October 2010):
ForChe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you are for your quick replies. I guess I should have mentioned that we have been together 2 years now and she knows my family on a very personal level. As for the married girl thing, she is my brothers sister-in-law just suggesting i go ask her to dance. I didnt leave her in a situation where she didnt know anybody. sorry for not saying that initially. I would never cheat on the love of my life. I guess i just need to know better ways to comfort her during these times as i am a guy and dont know how she feels. Suggestions ladies on how you like to be treated during pms? thanks!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): trust me pms can b a nightmare, it brings out the bad qualities in any woman and in this case insecurity. I used to get mood swings around that time and i felt like a completely different person at times! As im on the pill, which depleats vitamin B6 the one that deals with seratonin in the body. The doc put me on a supliment because lack of b6 can cause depression and mood swings! Im so much better now, so if shes on the pill she may want to look into that. What u need to ask is wether it is just pms behaviour, or does she act like this all the time?
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (11 October 2010):
 I don't think PMS is an excuse for your girlfriend's emotional displays; it's just the reason. However, I can't really comment on how much she may be running away with (over-dramatizing) her PMS, because the only PMS symptom I ever get is sneezing, nothing emotional.
I wanted to comment on YouWish's comment... I can understand why the poster's girlfriend might have felt a little left out, but given the occasion, and her age, I think she could have sucked it up a little. This was his own brother's wedding after all (not just a random friend's, but his BROTHER'S), and probably the most important day of his brother's life. I think if there's a time to show a little maturity and give your boyfriend a break, this is the occasion! Furthermore, his girlfriend may not have known many people at this wedding, but she is 20, an adult, not a sulky 13-year old. As an adult you are expected to socialize with strangers all the time; it is a skill we must all cultivate and learn to enjoy. If the poster's girlfriend can't manage on her own for an hour at a wedding, she has some serious growing up to do! I don't know how the poster feels about his brother, but I have known my brother all my life; he is my best friend and I would go to hell and back for him. If my boyfriend acted out at my brother's wedding, it would be a deal breaker. I think it's not too much to ask your significant other to behave for a couple of hours at your own damn brother's wedding! Poster, your girlfriend IS a spoiled brat.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 October 2010):
 I absolutely don't think that PMS is an excuse to behave badly. However, this isn't really a PMS issue. This is a communication issue, and the fact that you just called your girlfriend a "spoiled brat" says a lot about you.
Your girlfriend did you a favor by going to your brother's wedding. She's under absolutely no obligation to get dressed up, go to a place where she doesn't know anyone besides you, and you absolutely took her for granted.
You were having fun, then disappeared leaving her in an awkward situation. Then, when you came back, knowing that she was shy, you only thought of yourself. She's already feeling awkward, and you came back like nothing happened and asked her to dance. When she said no, you just bounded off by yourself, and then started talking and dancing with another girl, leaving her at YOUR family function to fend for herself.
To be fair, she should have been more upfront with how she felt about being left by you. Instead, she said you could dance by yourself, and then blew up when she saw you chatting it up with another girl (who gives a crap if she's married?!).
I think, while she should have been more assertive and clear about how she felt you treated her, you need to be less oblivious and not take her for granted. She went there with you. Did you introduce her to your family and relatives? Did you start conversations with your friends and include your girlfriend in the conversations? Hell, why didn't you BRING the married woman to your fiance and introduce the two of you? You could have turned this situation into a shining moment of social fun, and she could have made a friend!
This isn't a PMS thing, and she isn't a spoiled brat. She just needs to be a lot clearer about what she means. Take this as a learning experience, and next time you bring her to a family function, make her feel like your most valuable family member!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): I'd definitely say that it is a legit excuse!
At that time of the month, I know for me anyway, you can feel self - conscious, emotional, sick and just crap in general. If she is shy and you left her on her own, to fend for her self so to speak she probably felt a bit over whelmed by it all.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 For me, a women, PMS is a legitimate excuse. It explains the crying a lot.
Best thing i suggest to do is reasure her a lot during this time. Tell her everything thats going on so she wont feel as bad. and if your leaving her alone with people she doesnt know, introduce her to someone so she doesnt feel so alone :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): Whenever I am PMSing, I dont cry, I get pissed and curse people in my mind over the slightest thing. I agree with jmtmj when he says that its a explanation not an excuse. But maybe its not exactly PMS, it could be PMDD [Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder]. Here is a great website describing PMDD & the symptoms:
http://www.lifescript.com/Health/A-Z/Conditions_A-Z/Conditions/P/Premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder.aspx
The website is a site created just for the health of women, I encourage you to tell your girlfriend about it and to check it out, it is full of information, I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck. :]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): I face that sometimes too-the pms thing. It could be very painful but I dont think that is a good excuse for doing such in public...No way!!! She could have simply told you that she was not in good shape to dance coz of the pain instead of taking to her heels for no reason.
you should also talk to her about it and tell her that you dont like it, so she could amend her ways and I believe after doing that..both of you would be fine..
Take it easy on her..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): I face that sometimes too-the pms thing. It could be very painful but I dont think that is a good excuse for doing such in public...No way!!! She could have simply told you that she was not in good shape to dance coz of the pain instead of taking to her heels for no reason.
you should also talk to her about it and tell her that you dont like it, so she could amend her ways and I believe after doing that..both of you would be fine..
Take it easy on her..
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 I don't think PMS was the main problem in this case dude... probably shouldn't have left her alone for that long if she's shy.
PMS is an explanation for a change in behavior, but its not an excuse.
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