A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Am a 14 year old girl with a 17 year old boyfriend who wants 2 have 6 kids with me in the future. the thing is now he wants 2 break my virginity. I am still a virgin and am not ready. I dont wanna loose it. He's the best boyfriend ive ever had in my life , any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): i have just turned fourteen, my boyfriend is fifteen almost sixteen. we had sex when i was thirteen, the weekend of my fourteenth birthday. and it depends if its something your really bothered about, or not bothered about. i wasnt bothered about having sex, i didnt make such a deal about having or not having sex, and because i wasnt bothered, i didnt want to wait. this sounds really stupid, but we had sex on the first two weeks of going out, and we have lasted almost a year now:-) so, it all depends on both your insights on sex:-)
A
female
reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 The other aunts have given you great advice. This boy doesn't have a clue about life. He only wants sex. In the real world having 6 kids is DAMNED HARD WORK.
I have 7. Only 4 still at home. My husband worked 92 hours last week to provide a home, food, and clothing for us. I dont think your boyfriend has any idea of what real life is all about. I would bet that he lives at home, doesnt pay any utility bills, or food bills. Any job he may have pays for things that he WANTS. Such a a car or expensive clothes. That is not real life when you have 6 kids.
He is living in a make believe world and wants you to join him there. If by some chance you were to get pregnant, he would be gone in a flash. It all sounds so romantic. To love one another, have sex, have dreams of a future... but honey you are 14 and he is 17. Now is NOT the time.
LIVE for now. Have fun!!!! Go to school functions, hang with friends, go to the mall. Flirt with guys, giggle with your girlfriends. DONT HAVE SEX.
I am so proud that you seem to have this figured out. You know that you arent ready. Thats mature thinking. You are on the right track. You know that this is something precious that you only get to give to one person. Its a gift that should be given to someone you really and truly love when the time is right. hugs
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A
female
reader, SharpieAddict +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Aww. Poor baby! :( I know what its like. I went through the same stuff last year with my boyfriend. I just wanna say. If you LOVE him. And make sure he loves you back tho! And when your apsolutly sure... Its your call. Its YOUR body. If you wanna lose your virginity young, then go ahead. I dont think its bad really tho. Just make sure you use a condom. Make sure he didnt poke any holes in the tip of it. If you can. bring your OWN condom. So you can make sure! But, I hope this helps.
Xoxo
-Ally
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A
male
reader, Cccc  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 14... enough said!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 If the best boyfriend you ever had is like this, then you need to improve the class of your boyfriends.
17 year old boys don't want kids and they never ever think of the future (unless it is a car). Kids == sex.
And if you can only keep him with sex, he isn't yours to begin with.
What scares you more, loosing him or being used for sex by a guy who will dump you eventually anyway.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 October 2010):
 You know, if you read between the lines, a 17 year old saying he wants 6 kids is really saying that he wants lots of sex. If you lose your virginity to him and get pregnant, he will run.
Never ever let the fear of losing someone be your reason for giving up sex. Sex is an expression of love, not a bonding tool. Love has to already be there apart from the sex, not because of it.
You are also possess great insight by identifying that you're too young to take on the risk and emotional burden at the age of 14. Now take that insight a step further and think about your future. How do you want to build it? Will you let simple fear of losing a teenage boy cause you to potentially destroy your life's dreams?
Your emotions and hormones are only now just awakening. Keep your mind and intellect sharp and keen, and remember that you CAN say no. If you lose the guy, then you really know that you made the absolute right decision in not losing your virginity to him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): wait there a guy even better then him, one that want ask you to have sex before your ready or married. tell him to use his hands because he not for you. He just want your body. If he could pocket your sex object then thas all he needs.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Don't you dare have sex with him because you're afraid to lose him if you don't!
He's the best boyfriend you've had in your life? You're only 14... you probably haven't had a real boyfriend before him to compare- so how would you know what a good boyfriend or a bad boyfriend actually acts like?
If he's pressuring you for sex when you're not ready then this is not a quality of a good boyfriend... its a quality of a hormone crazy teenage boy. Also be very wary of future plans that he may say he wants to do with you... ie have kids with you... don't move things along quicker than you are ready for simply because he makes out like he will never leave you.
Tell him no and to not bring it up again. If he really is a genuinely good boyfriend then he will respect you and your decision.
Best of luck aye :)
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 You need to say no. If not you will really regret it. and he isnt the best boyfriend ever if you will lose him if you say no! If he dumps you for this, you will hurt(cry & beg) for about 2 weeks, then you will see that it is a good thing that you got rid of a terrible bf who doesnt respect you.
Dont have sex with him if your not ready! and dont just think you are cause he is. He is much older than you and more ready and horny than you are. I lost mine when i was 14 and ive regretted it ever since.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (10 October 2010):
 He is NOT the best boyfriend because he is unfairly pressuring ou to do something you don't want to do.
Tell him NO. Six kids in the future, yeah right, when he is capable of providing for those six kids THEN he can take your virginity and not before then.
Stand your ground, you are 14 years old, and you can only have your "first time" once. Make sure its with somebody who is going to stick around for longer than it takes to say "I had a virgin" to his friends. Don't be a scalp hanging on his sexual prowess belt nor a notch in his gun.
Tell him to button his lip and button his trousers while he is at it!
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (10 October 2010):
 If you're not ready for sex, then don't do it. If he loves you and really wants to be with you, he'll respect your decision. Don't let him pressure you into it because you'll most likely regret it afterwards.
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Say that you aren't ready to have sex with him. If he doesn't respect you then he isn't worth it. No one is worth losing your virginity with unless they think that the sun shines out of your ass and will wait with you until you're ready. Don't give it away to someone who just wants sex. If he says that it's okay and he'll wait until you are ready then you'll know that he really loves you.
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