A
female
age
,
*anniBoi
writes:My partner and I have only been together for about 5 months. I have had a total of 2 partners before her. She has had myrriads. She ask me the other day to quit communicating with my last ex because she was afraid I would end up having an emotional affair with the woman. So I wrote the gal...she lives 4 hours away, and ended it. It crushed the lady. However my current partner will take calls from her most recent ex and have extended conversations with her and even allow her to come to dinner with us on occasion. I am by nature a jealous person, and I am trying to overcome this, but REALLY?! I tried to talk to her about it this evening and she got angry and defensive. I really love my partner. And I will be the first to admit I do not understand her side. So how do I learn to understand where she is coming from and how do I combat these awful jealous tendencies?
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affair, crush, her ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DanniBoi +, writes (14 October 2010):
DanniBoi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, so you all had great advice, which I took to heart and applied. But nothing is changing folks. Found out from her 2yo daughter 2 days ago that my gf and her daughter are having dinner with my gf's ex tonight (albiet McDonald's) and I will be at work. My work schedule is posted on the frig so my gf is aware of my schedule, which is posted a month ahead of time. My gf friend hasn't told me they are meeting. I really love this woman, people. I don't want to give her up...but this is infuriating me. How many chances do I give this woman? And since talk isn't cutting it...when is it time to cut my losses and walk? FYI..I moved all the way across the state to live with her. I have, it seems, been making all of the sacrifices here.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): Her getting angry and defensive when you bring up the unfairness with her isn't a reason to just let it keep going on. Confront her and remind her that she made you end things with your ex and that she should show you the same courtesy. It may seem cruel but turn the tables on her and say that if she doesn't trust you enough to let you still keep in touch with your ex, then you don't have much of a reason to trust her.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Sorry but if she doesnt want you talking to your ex's then she should not be talking to her ex's.
Double standards are a no-no.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Double standards... not cool.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Well, it is unfair for her to have asked you to terminate communications with your ex when she is still openly meeting with hers. She does not trust you but she expects you to be completely trustful of her? That is not right. I suppose she thinks you do trust her and that you should because she is confident that she will not have any sort of affair but what she did shows that she does not trust you. I think you need to talk to her about the fact that she is not confident in your fidelity.
I hope that helps.
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